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7 weeks ago I took in my Mother and I am her last resort, she's burned her bridges. Her ex boyfriend, my sister and my aunt all tried to help her and they have given up. They all felt like it is dementia. I had counseling with the case worker a the geriatric part mental hospital and she thinks it's Paranoid schizophrenia instead of or with dementia. Now what. I might have to hospitalize her eventually but in the mean time she's still in my house and hard to handle. Definition of paranoid schizophrenia. irritability, sudden anger, fearfulness, and suspicion. That's my mother, along with the memory loss and forgetfulness. Y can't get her in for another month to get her evaluated unlss I give up and take her to the hospital and have her admitted. She'll run away like she did to my sister when she took Mom to the hospital. My God. That why she's so mean. I need some help here, thanks.

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Sorry to bump a zombie thread but I am in this boat too -- though my mom no longer has the energy to sustain the kind of craziness she had when she was younger. Screaming like she used to would knock her out for a day. I do think her cognitive and memory issues enhance her delusions but I never know if she's faking it. I would love to know what steps you have taken or tips for care. How do you find a doctor who really gets both psych and neuro meds and how they interact in the elderly and how to get her to take them?

You should not feel guilty about her being in lockdown. You should not feel bad that she is angry with you. She is stuck on the angry channel, you cannot change it. She safe in lockdown and that is the best thing for her and for you. If calling is not working just start sending cards to let her know you do care. Let Hallmark do the talking and you just sign them. She might mock them, tear them up, tell the nurses you are horrible, but I would bet she will enjoy receiving them.

The book Growing Up With a Schizophrenic Mother helped me make some sense of things that happened and also calls out the mental health community for totally failing to support children who grow up with parents that have severe mental illness. Also I enjoyed actor Alan Alda's autobiography. It covers his mother's schizophrenia and how he has tried to get past it.
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Hopeless, the brain is an organ the same as a heart or a liver is. A brain can be broken in many many ways.

It sounds like your poor mom has both dementia ( broken brain from structural damage of some sort--either plaques and abnormal protein deposits, or vascular issues) and something like schizophrenia, which is genetic, biochemical and maybe structural. In any event, a brain broken in more than one way.

We tend to think of mental illness as something that can be gotten rid of by sheer force of will. It ain't true.

It's very sad that your mother is so ill, and that she is so unhappy and angry. It's heartbreaking, for you and she both. But she is where she needs to be.
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Thank you jeannegibbs. I think she is where she needs to be as well. She is just 72 and physically ok. It's all mental So it makes it harder to accept
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Hopeless, I don't have any answers for you, only sympathy. I hope some day science will be much wiser about how to treat those with mental illnesses. Now your mom is where she needs to be.

Hugs to you.
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My mom has been in and out of mental hospitals ever since I was a baby. I am 52. There were periods of time in my adult life after I noticed things werent right, that she would get better. She had lived at least 5 hours from me most of my adult life. I began to go to dr appts with her and tried to get her moved closer to me which the Dr agreed that would be best. She had dillusions that people were on her roof. Dillusions that people were stealing from her, trying to kill her tazeing her, going to kill her and her cat as she called me up crying one day. She heard voices. Shesaid that people communicate through airwaves. At times when it got really bad she would turn her tv around not facing her. She would receive messages from the tv. Cover up mirrors. I brought her home to my house and we rented her an apt. while she was waiting on moving in she would all of a sudden get angry and be ready to leave and go back to her home 5 hrs away for no reason. I talked her out of it. She got very upset when I would ask her if she took her meds. We had an argument and she said she wasnt going to eat any more of my cooking and would not talk to me and stayed in her room. I tried talking and getting things right with her but it didnt work. We had a bad flood last year about 11 months ago and some people flooded to the roofs. The day we flooded was the day my husband and i were going to pack up her stuff and move her into an apt a block away. This never happened. We had to go back home due to heavy street flooding. Hours later water started coming in the house. My mother would smile about this like she was happy this was happening. All at the same time still not saying a word to us. The water started rising. I had to get my vehicle out before it damaged the engine. I drove it out of subdivision onto higher ground. Also knocked on her door and told her we needed to get out of there and she locked the door would not say a word. I sat in my vehicle along with others on higher ground, my husband had to go back after her and she wouldnt cooperate. We had about 2 1/2 feet in house not knowing how high it would get.
He had to pick her up and carry her out while she was fighting him. He had to run his boat out of the driveway to get to the higher street where i was. Anyway that was almost a year ago. Since then I have had to go to court to get guardianship. Her sisters helped me. We had to have police go get her by that time she never was able to move closer to me and she was back at her old place. She was evaluated with dimentia and had been evaluated several years before with paranoia schitzoaffective disorder which I didnt know about but pretty much knew by reading information tat she had some sort of paranoia schitzaphrenia. She is in locked down facility and everytime I call andor go see her she tells me she has been discharged. She gets mad at me because I wont get her out. And Iwent to see her aout a week before Memorial day and called a week later and asked how her blister was on her foot and she asked how i knew of this. I told her because I was there when they were doctoring her foot and I was cutting her toenails. She hung up on me. I called her back thinking we got disconnected but didnt rule out her hanging up on me because nothing is surprising anmore. When I called her back I heard her screaming and telling the nurse to tell me not to ever call her again. Either she thnks I am lying and I didnt go see her or shes mad because she cant remember be being there. I took my hiusband and my grandson and my aunt went along as well and she doesnt remember. But that is ok I just dont know how to handle her being angry with me. Its so hard to deal with. I know its hard for her but I really wish things were different. Ihavent called her back in a month. I do plan to go see her this month I usually dont let 2 months go by without going. She is 3 1/2 hours away. The nursing staff told me today that she is refusing her meds at night. Also she is trying to get out of the locked down facility and says her sisters are going to check her out. My aunts call her and let her know that they cant come that day so that she wont be expecting them. I hate that she has to stay in this locked down facility for the rest of her life but I dont see it getting any better and she has been diagnosed incompetant. She isnt bathing nor will she let them cut her hair. She is 72. My grandmother had schitzophrenia as well.
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Do anyone know of a fertility in new jersey that would keep him there for 6 month or more with, psychiatrist he schizophrenia and need medication there year go thought h*ll no sleep at all please.
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Crazycatlady and Notthe baby, I know your posts are very old and hoping you will see this. My family is experiencing the same exact thing with my grandmother. And we are guessing at what to do, she is so angry and paranoid, will not let anyone help her. We have spoken in great detail to the hospital, several social workers, the police and they have made approx. 3 wellness visits, which she seems to have passed. It is mind blowing how hard it is to get her the help and medication she needs. The hospital never mentioned a much needed psych evaluation, but wouldn't let her go home alone. A social worker is helping to get her a psych evaluation and we are hoping she receives it soon. Any advice would be really appreciated, thank you!
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wow, I have been dealing with all these situations foe 10 years now and still going. I would or could not think of putting my aunt in a hospital or facility still at this point. s
She has a lot of problems her illnesses which is paranoid-schizophrenia and dementia. Lately she has more outbursts of anger and is very verbal also, she throws things. I'm not saying its easy because it is definitely not. I have researched many issues regarding this illness combination and found nothing to help me understand what I'm up against, not even a basic line of information. So I felt as if I was on my own on how to care for her without putting her in some home. All I know its not easy to take care of family members who are ill buy a long shot and its very frustrating, I thank God I have other family members who also help me out. So I give a high five to all those who hang in there a take care of family. Hope to find more answers to help us out with these illnesses.
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Suzy56Snowflake - Wow. So many problems there! I think we're missing some info & here's why I say that:

She should not be starting Risperidone without a lot of doctor follow up. It's a very powerful anti-psychotic drug with a LOT of very dangerous side effects. It is not a magic pill, that's for sure. And it is not to be taken outside a very highly monitored situation. It's not Tylenol. It also is not prescribed for 2 days' worth and that's it because it's not a drug you can just stop & start without side effects. I can see how a doctor might want to re-check her after 2 days to adjust the dosage or taper her off it if it's not helping, or try a different drug. But not just take four doses and be done.

Something is broken in the system if they are really just classifying people who don't show up for mental evals as competent. Sounds like there's more going on there. If you don't have durable power of attorney specifically for your step-mother, you are not going to get the real information from any doctor or hospital. The HIPAA rules prevent them from disclosing that kind of information to anyone without the proper authority.

If your dad was in a nursing home and of sound mind, he would have had to purposefully end his rental agreement there to move out. Is there more going on around this point? Was he only there for a rehab period instead of as a permanent resident? A rehab stay would come to an end and you either go home or check in as a permanent resident - depends on the facility.

Sounds like they need an in-home assessment by social services to evaluate the situation. You do not want to tee this up to look like you are just the disagreeable step-daughter. You can report your suspicion of elder abuse to their local adult social services office. They are required by law to investigate and to keep the reporter's name anonymous. There is usually a hotline to call to report abuse of elders. Contact your local agency on aging to get some advice.

If you don't have durable power of attorney for your dad as well, then you may not be getting all the info from the doctors, hospitals, nursing home, anyone. If you are only getting the news from your dad or his wife, you might have to receive this information with a strong "does this make sense" filter on.

It doesn't make sense that someone in the hospital for psychiatric eval would just be cleared with no follow up at all.
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Since November, I have been going crazy having to handle finances and house problems from a distance (4 hours away) for my wheelchair bound 86 year dad with a schizophrenic abusive wife at 80 years old, who lies to him about everything. Just recently, she had been diagnosed with dementia, but they released her to go home at 9 pm after a psychiatrist eval with Resperidone .25 mg. 2x daily for 2 days. She refused to go for a 2 week mental eval with the hospital, so they deemed as competent, when she wasn't. Help! My dad had 3 unreported falls with repeated hip fractures and ankle fractures and the investigator deemed it accident when she pushed him down 3 times. He was in a nursing home and they said he was of a sound mind, so they let him go home to a pyscho who abuses him. Please Help to keep him alive and safe!!
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Sandwich42plus, You've said so much in your post. Thank you.

Your mother has led a difficult life (likely your whole family did), but she didn't have the help she needed. Our system still lacks much in providing for those with mental illness, but at least your mother is in a facility that is appropriate for her needs.

You've been through so much yourself as you've tried to help her. Stay strong and do try to take care of yourself.
Carol
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NotTheBaby - We have been in the same boat together! My mother also has this complicated diagnosis. At some point it won't even matter if it's dementia or the schizoid disorder causing her problem behaviors. My mom is in a secure memory care facility for geriatric dementia & mental illness patients. Best thing that ever happened to her.

She lived with me & my family for a few weeks and it was h*ll on earth. She is a real handful to take care of, even for the professionals, but they have psychiatric nurses & doctors right there and I do not.

My mom came along during the post-WW2 era where there was not much mental help to get. What there was, was pretty barbaric and many were afraid to ask for help, lest they be committed. There were other social code words for it. Difficult. Odd. Eccentric. Kooky.

Mom had several hospitalizations last year that turned the tide for her. Thank the heavens the sharp doctors and nurses who picked up on it and didn't fall for her "act". There were so many along the way there is no way I can contact them all to let them know it mattered, what they did. Their decisions to keep her for observation, to ask her real cognitive eval questions, and recommend treatment. It made ALL the difference.
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This is a very old post BUT, to the original poster (and any others in a similar situation here), our lives are nearly running parallel in ways, here. My mother has vascular dementia and, although not formally diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, her neuropsychiatrist suspects that is what she suffers from, as well as some bipolar OR borderline personality disorder. There are severe abandonment issues and definite aggressive, paranoid, and hallucinogenic tendencies. As you probably know well, it's very difficult to diagnose after the dementia has set in and she never had any treatment prior. He needed her to go into a facility so she could get cleared of some of the medication cocktail that she was on and, as one other poster mentioned, she wanted nothing if it as her generation simply didn't seek out mental health help. Long story short, I was able to convince her to check in voluntarily and they made the decision to admit her based on her four-hour, grueling evaluation. It's taken a long time and it requires a bit of a battle but she is getting treatment and is finally in a beautiful long-term care facility that accepts Medicaid. Now just to get her on it...

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, my dear. Let's talk!
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Obviously this is an older post, but my family and I have long been laboring under the assumption that our mother had some sort of dementia. And she does, but in the last couple of years she began hallucinating and acting out horribly. FINALLY had a neurology appointment yesterday, prepared to hear Lewy Body Dementia, and instead, she was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia with fronto-temporal dementia and *possibly* Alzheimer's. Our next steps are in place, but I'm still completely flummoxed. I hope you found help and support in dealing with your own mother.
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My heart goes out to you.

What does the doctor you talked to who thinks it is Paranoid schizophrenia think the best course of action is?

This behavior is hard to deal with even by skilled, trained professionals in a hospital setting. You should not be hard on yourself (or your sister or the boyfriend) for not being able to deal with it single-handed.

Is this diganosis fairly new? Is Mom now on some medications for this condition?
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My mom is schizophrenic and her meds don't work so well anymore. I always have to have her put in the hospital for them to adjust her meds when she has an episode. Its a hard thing to do for everybody but if I didn't she would very likely have a stroke or hurt someone. She gets so out of control.
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It is entirely possible that this is mental illness along with dementia. You may have no choice but to have her admitted if you have to wait a whole month. It's obvious that she needs help and you can't do it all alone. A nursing home may take her but they may not until her mental illness is addressed. It may seem "mean" but she is in danger the way she is, so hospitalization could be your only choice. My heart is with you.
Carol
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