Other people behaving badly...

Aww, I was just about to suggest that we could all queue up to slap the hysterical nurse, like that scene in Airplane! Let me at 'er...

I nearly got a red mist moment at the electrical warehouse yesterday. But the "assistant" was so unbelievably useless I ended up feeling too sorry for him to say my piece. That, and I honestly didn't know where to start.

Me: "so what does that figure for the Hz on the tv specifications actually mean?"
Him: "er... it's more expensive?"

You know that moment where you're not sure if they're taking the piss - I looked at him narrowly. He looked defeated, and went on to complain that most people don't insist on getting into that much detail. Then why quote the figure?

Boy's an idiot. I'll buy a tv somewhere else. Eventually.

CM does buying a TV mean you are behaving badly?

Cwillie it is now 10.20 and I too am still in my nighty. Yes I do still wear nighties rather than the shorts and T shirts others favor.

In rehab the medication nurse whom I labeled the medication N***i.
After I had complained to admin next time she came round she slapped my meds down and said "Nice doing business with you"

On the other side of the coin I was in Walmart yesterday dangerously cruising around in one of their uncontrollable carts and wanted a new hair curler. I parked, if you can call it that, and was looking. A nearby assistant came up and offered to help me find it. Not everyone behaves badly!!!!!!!!

Love this new thread Send

Blimey Veronica! Definitely a 'gobsmacked' moment! - I hoped you checked those meds over carefully, who knows what she might have sneaked in there???

My younger brother texted that he will not come to our mom's 90th birthday party at my home because he doesn't want to be around his older brother who will be here, and that he and his wife will come to see mom at some other time. I am so tired of this nonsense.

I'm sorry, Barbara. I understand your brother's feelings on one level. But if I had to grit my teeth and grin and bear my siblings at my mother's 90th I don't see why he should get away with it! And it must be extremely trying for you. Will your mother notice, and mind?

Mom will notice, and it will make her sad that all of her kids are not there. But she won't know why, and I'm not going to tell her that her youngest son is not speaking to his brother again. Nor am I going to make excuses for him. This same thing happened to mess up my parents' 50th wedding anniversary celebration 20 years ago. I understand that sometimes people don't get along, but put on your big boy pants and show up for your mom. It's all about celebrating her life.

I was here, but have to remind dH to stop working at 1:30, and it is already 1:45. He loves it so, but they frown on him making his own hours.

Stopped into a chain hardware store today to get a new outdoor shade for the patio slider
Couldn't find any so
I asked - - they didn't have them anymore
Said they had window tint instead
This is not helpful hardware men

When I walked into the hospital room one morning when Mother was in Again,she was Livid and I couldn't imagine what was wrong.She said that she was asleep,and at 3:30 in the morning,a group of students and a nurse appeared at her bed and the nurse teaching the students showed how to put in and take out a cathedar on Mother who wasn't even using a cathedar at all.She was so upset and humiliated and never got over it.

CM
how was the cuttlefish and toast ?

I thought I'd pass on it, thanks, MsMadge! Bleuch.

Barbara, one of my brothers managed to arrange a vacation overseas and missed my mother's 90th. What could I say? Her birthday had been in the diary, after all, since 1924; but evidently it came as a surprise to him that we'd decided to celebrate it.

My mother barely noticed his absence; and as her dementia worsened he was the one child of four that she at times completely forgot she had. I don't know if that's better or worse than minding that he wasn't there.

But as to what to say to your brothers... I don't think you can win in this situation, can you? All you can do is refuse to feel responsible.

Nope, can't win here. You're right. Several years ago I had this same sort of venom directed at me from the same brother and his wife. It ate me up because my brother and I used to be very close. To repair the rift, I chose to practice Teshuva and apologize for my part in the conflict. It was successful . . . for a while.

Management sent out a two page letter addressing parking rules and guests, drunk in public, etc.
Dated: July 5th.
Barn door was left open. Lol.

Poor staff at the hoca last night as 2 or 3 caregivers called off last minute - grr

Who showed up - the 3 or 4 veterans who always work hard - and one or two who are newish and were sitting in the tv room quite a bit

The place was so crowded as they corralled all the residents in the tv room that I took mom outside so we could be quiet and catch some fireworks

One newer nurse came out to Ask if I'd seen a certain male resident - same one that told me she hadn't seen mom when I called one evening- comforting

When we returned inside for pie and ice cream there were still a few residents up so I changed the channel to NBC so
at least they could see some fireworks too

Even though staff came to help me put mom to bed I told her to
Take a break - she had enough to do that night plus she's the only one who has made a connection with mom and now showers her 2x a week

Temps are forecast at 102 for the weekend and once again the a/c is broken in mom's room which is less than 2 years old

Enjoying the new thread Send! Good job!

So........I have mononucleosis.........yes........the kissing disease. But what's not so funny is I honestly think I may have had a bit of delirium, no lie. I was running a fever two nights ago and sent an e-mail to my narc sister telling her that I haven't appreciated her treatment of me the last 55 years. We then proceeded to have an e-mail conversation or should I say I had a conversation............she just deflected, denied, managed to turn things around to where my lack of perception, different communication skills are the problem. That I have shown her a lack of respect by letting things go for 55 years and that I am not allowed to bring up anything that didn't just happen yesterday. Yes.............I really must be delirious. What was I thinking? I went on line and read an excellent article about why confronting a narcissist about their narcissism and expecting an apology is akin to sticking your head into a crocodile and expecting it not to clamp it's jaws shut on your stupid head.

Next time I'm feeling delirious I'll come on here and someone can give me a pep talk before I go and do something stupid again.

I'd save all those emails Gershun, as evidence if for no other reason. At least you got it all out in the open.
Mono, isn't it funny that we were all just discussing the possibility of Ali having that? I prescribe lots of rest and vitamins, feel better soon!

Thank-you Willie! I'm trying hard but one thing that is making it hard is I suffer a lot from insomnia and getting proper rest is number one when trying to get over mono.
I get an hour here, an hour there but really am not sleeping well still. I feel pretty rough.

But yes, I will save those e-mails for a good laugh if nothing else. Thanks!

Driving hubs tonight. While I am gone, everyone try try to get along. I can't be warning of the full moon effect every month! It's not you, it's them!

Gershun,
It is never stupid to want a connection with family.
It's just some family are narcs and dangerous to your health.
It is truth you are trying to figure out with your fam.
Be careful.
We all try to go back, test the waters on occasion.

Go in with your armor on, if ever.

It's not you, it's them behaving badly.

You feel bad enough already, so protect yourself.
Don't answer when that phone rings....

Gershun, I don't care whether you did it in the throes of delirium or not, you are my hero.

Oh my God I WISH I could find the courage and the words to tell my sister what I think of her!

But that's what it comes down to, isn't it. You explain, with concrete illustrations, why you feel you have been bullied, slighted and misrepresented. She instantly comes back with a response that aims to bully, slight and misrepresent you.

The prosecution rests.

Thank-you Countrymouse. I don't feel like a hero but I'll proudly wear the cape. Now I just need to find a phone booth somewhere to go change into it. :)

Not so much people behaving badly, as one person making the sort of mistake that could happen to anyone.

And only care-related in that this happened at a school for children with special needs.

But I love this story:

Christine Lee, assistant principal at St Anne's Community Special School in Welton, East Yorkshire, said: "A busload of Zulu warriors was very unexpected. They said 'St. Anne's?' and we said 'yes, but we weren't expecting you.'

The eight warriors then realised they were 200 miles off course for their scheduled performance at St. Ann's School for children with learning difficulties in West London. But rather than board their bus again they decided to perform their war dance and songs for the pupils.

Lesley Davis, head teacher, said "They did two performances, one for the lower school pupils and an hour in the afternoon for the upper school. The children were just glued, it was fantastic."

Mduduzi Mkize, the troupe's leader, said "The addresses got mixed up on my data sheet and we ended up here. They had never heard of us. So I spoke to them, explaining what we do, and they fell in love with the idea and wanted to see what I was talking about."

I'm just a bit sorry for the teachers and pupils in West London who *were* expecting a busload of Zulu warriors to arrive at their school. Perhaps they re-booked for another day.

Oh lort, where to begin...Kids..who are teenagers...summertime. Honey bunch who at times is my rock and others just a cynical know it all who loves to hear himself talk for the sake of talking. I guess he thinks may lecture me into submission somehow??? Ooooo, mom doing the exact oppsite of the right things as if she is confused. But can tell me all about (several times to my dismay) the husband and things too sensitive to mention here. Oh, lets not forget the millionth time I've heard "oh, if theres anything you need". Yea, try calling in that favor. There's a really long list people. I just get by with a few "to be delivert lorts" and a healthy dosage of "jesus, take the wheel before i murder people". Amen.

Who behaved badly this time? I actually kept my head on straight... for the most part...

Took Mom to her MRI yesterday as a follow up to the cognitive testing by the neurologists office. I leave work, pick her up (Ms. 1 speed-only) drive to the medical park, get lost trying to find the place, stop to ask for help, make a side trip for Mom to the bathroom, and finally find the place. As we are checking in, they tell me, "Oh, your doctor cancelled the MRI because we are not in-network." And they had the nerve to blame in on the doctor's office, saying, they were supposed to call me.

I think everyone here would be very impressed with my self control. I was NOT HAPPY....it's not easy to drop everything, clear my schedule, get my Mom and take her to an appointment that doesn't exist.

TODAY....I'm at Mom's memory care room with the cable guy trying to figure out if it's the cable or the tv on the fritz. (mind you, we've spent a lot of time together in the past two weeks (mom and I, not the cable guy) and it's been fine.) But I could see a strange look on her face when she walked to the room and found us there (even though I had just said hello to her down the hall) almost as if we startled her. The door was wide-open, but something about us being there troubleshooting her TV set her off.

For the next hour she wanted to argue with me about why she wasn't living with me. I successfully distracted her a few times, got her to quiet down with my new line, "I'll look into it." but she was like a dog with a bone.

No answer makes her happy, so eventually she started yelling, and eventually I said, I'm leaving, and she yelled at me to get out.

and she had such a great day today at the bowling alley with her caregiver, and we had a blast Sunday at the movies to see Gone with the Wind. AND IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER. I hate it for her, I really do, and I'm not going to lie, I hate it for me too.

At one point she said, "I know you just can't wait till I drop dead and you no longer have to worry about me." So I asked her, "You really think I act like I can't wait for you to keel over?" And she said, "sometimes you act that way." So I responded, "like right now, I'm here trying to fix your TV because I can't wait till you die?"
She got quiet at my response because how could she argue...the one shred of logic left in her brain realized her tactic lacked merit.

as a side note ***deep down I'm worrying that maybe I do act that way, and I feel badly.

I told her how sorry I was that she was unhappy and that I wished I could fix it.

Hugs, JJG.

You are doing *such* a good job. There is a special place in heaven for people who can handle their loved ones patiently, truthfully and kindly all at the same time.

And those feelings you're worrying about, the kernel of truth in your mother's accusation? Here's a thought: you no more want your mother to die than your mother herself wants to get to the end of her life. That is to say, a tiny little bit, you both do - but only for completely understandable and compassionate reasons.

Hugs again. Focus on the good bits, because they're just as real.

An airline had a very bad landing shaking everyone up badly.That airline required the first office to stand by the door and thank tham for flying Royal Airlines. This day he was absolutely dreading it but screwed up his courage and went through the routine with only are negative remarks from the passengers.
The last passenger off was a little old lady and she looked him straight in the eye"Sonny can i ask you a question? "Of course Ma'm" he replied. "Can you tell me if we landed or were we shot down?"

Thanks Countrymouse, I very much appreciate your words of encouragement and support :-)

Veronica-- that's hysterical reminds me of something my grandmother would say

Veronica, over 10 years ago I flew from Las Vegas to Calgary for a wedding. There was a bad winter snow storm in Calgary that night and the plane I was in had to taxi around and around in the sky for over an hour. The pilot had told us that we might have to re-route to another city if storm didn't clear. So we're taxiing and it's a bad storm, we're getting bumped around and there is tension.

After an hour of this the pilot comes on the PA and says "We're just going to try for a landing here in Calgary, just shoot under the storm and see if that doesn't work." (Whatever she said  was something to that effect, and the words "shoot under" have rang in my head for a decade haha...) I was scared! lol! So were the others! We were looking around at each other saying "we're going to TRY to land!?" Well, we landed, but it was the worst flight experience ever. I suppose the pilot knew her skills and if she thought the plane could land, then everything was fine. No one else knew that. :-)

Thank you everyone for your contributions on this thread.
These are interesting and good stories!