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When other's are just ticking you off, when you just cannot keep it in any longer, and you have already tried and tried; or you find something so funny but posting it topically would interrupt a conversation; OR you feel like testing your own compassionate quotient by wording it in a way so as NOT to offend;
Instead of logging out, post it here......

Here is an example: Some posts are getting soooo long that no one reads them. Ever. But one day, you find yourself bored out of your mind, and you read, and read, and read. Only to discover that person, a part of the community here, may need help that you cannot give. You want to help, but you are prevented. So, say it all here. Air concerns, but be extremely kind-because everyone you meet is fighting an uphill battle.
Understand?
If it is too long, no one will read it.

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We all want to be helpful, but how helpful can a long post be if instead if turns out to be a vitriolic manifesto against every wrong in the world? People just ignore posts like that, but what if the angry person needs help?
Inquiring minds want to know.  It's them behaving badly, not me?
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It is often said, familiarity breeds contempt.
Now that I have gotten to know the motivations of my extended family, I never want to see them again. At all.
It is them behaving ever so badly, it's them, not me.
Other people behaving badly, not likely to change.
Feel like I don't have to prove it to them.
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Thanks for the new thread
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Remember my post on the caregivers behaving badly thread when I was bad and criticized the food at mom's NH? I have twice been asked by this cook to critique her cooking. How can I possibly say anything negative? Payback form a passive aggressive cook?
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Sendhelp, if there is a new original post that is very long with no breaks in the paragraphs and no periods at the end of sentences [like a 500 word sentence], I find I have trouble reading it, so sadly I give up by the 4th line, because it can read two different ways. If only they would proof-read, and especially now that we can edit [love that function]. Oh how I want to be "teacher" and have them turn in a new paper.... and use "who, what, where, when, and why" when talking about a subject.

And what about those new writers that seem to be "drive-by" writers. They post a new question, and after 5 pages of answers from the community, we never hear back from them, not once since the original posting.... [sigh]. They have left the building and threw away the address.
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FF, I really do try to read through those difficult long posts, but in the end I usually leave them for someone else to answer. I think my years of caregiving used up all my patience.
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Cwillie,
Did you see any improvement in the food?
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We all have days when a meal just doesn't turn out well, and that one meal was definitely the worst I've tried there. I know there is only so much you can do with a pureed diet, but some of the food is rather puzzling. I figured it might be safest to steer mom away from any mixtures thinking you can't really screw up meat and potatoes. For example, the regular menu was bbq ribs, potato wedges and a veg. Mom gets mashed potato, pureed veg and ??? It looked and tasted like mashed potatoes with bbq sauce mixed in, if there was any meat in there it was well hidden. It tasted OK, but was just... strange. Another meal was supposed to be turkey but looked like the same strange item sans the bbq sauce. If you aren't gonna serve the same food as on the regular menu that's OK, just tell us first. And where is the nutrition in what seemed to be essentially two servings of mashed potatoes? Especially when potatoes are served every day, sometimes for both lunch and dinner.
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The cook should have arrived already knowing how to cook, imo. Cooks behaving badly.
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Knowing that blaming others for everything can be a sign of narcissism or other psychopathology, I just want to reassure posters here that is not what we are doing.
Too many caregivers can take on all the responsibilities for things not being right, and have little time to research or figure things out. After all, Mom or Dad may be sick, right? Well, often, it's not you, it's them!
It is other people behaving badly.
So badly in fact, that it is hurting you.
Complain about it here!

It is not you, not your fault!

It is others behaving badly!

.
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Thank you MsMadge, Cwillie, and Freqflyer for joining me on this new thread, "Other People Behaving Badly".
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It is not my fault, I warned them, reminded them.
Hubs is off his schedule, somehow, it will be my fault that he is running late for work.
It's not me, it's them.
But the stress will be hurting me.
He's sorry, he lost track. How is that possible after you already reminded him; AND told the other person he cannot help after 1:45. It is 2:30 p.m. before he stops!!

Uber.
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An aha moment. After getting things out today, I feel better somehow. If I can figure out when it's them and not me......I can join the "Not my circus, not my monkeys" group and distance myself from the stress they cause.
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Agency sent a new caregiver to hoca for a 4 hour shift with mom on Sunday - when I was in her room last night I noticed she left a copy of her time sheet on which she's supposed to mark the tasks she performed etc

According to this sheet not once in four hours did she take mom to the restroom and her handwritten comments are three repetitive lines which read Mrs R is doing a little napping. Now she is awake. Mrs R is napping again. Now she is awake.

That flushing sound is $82 down the toilet
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I want to find a job where I can earn $82 for watching someone sleep, it sounds perfect ;)
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Cwillie
You're hired
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Be careful though, Cwillie. She (MsMadge) might flush your pay down the toilet!
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That was a joke.
Has anyone ever had thoughts about how great a caregiver would be if you or your family ever needed someone? (Not that any of the caregivers here would ever want to take on an assignment after caregiving Mom or Dad.) But MsMadge, excellent choice!
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Then, there is Carol, caregiver to Mom2Mom's mother before she passed. Everyone should be so blessed to have a Carol.
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The fourth of July is Independence day in the U.S.
Last year, friends in the UK joined in wishing a happy fourth!
I love our friends in the UK!
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So, no one but me knows anyone else behaving badly?
I feel so all alone, maybe it is my fault after all.
Yeah, that's it. I am to blame. And I apologize.
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Our President? [never mind]
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Ff, are you in Canada or the UK? Lol.
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I feel like apologizing for him too. But, no.
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Other people behaving badly: the one nurse at my Moms Memory Care home who's all excited and exclaiming how she's convinced my Mom is going to hit her. (The rest of the staff is wonderful and seem to have a clue how to work with and respond to upset, escalating dementia patients.)

Me (behaving well but thinking) "lady, you work in a home with 60 dementia patients, this is your career, how are you acting offended and excitable and like a drama queen? You almost sound like you want her to hit you...what ARE you up to?"
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JJGOOD,
Move over, maybe I want to hit her, Lol.

Oops, this is not the Caregivers Behaving Badly thread, and I don't hit people. So maybe some Other People Behaving Badly can hit that histrionic nurse.

Lol. They're not allowing physical restraints anymore, are they?
For the nurse, I mean.
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Sendhelp, now that's funny! This evening Mom was agitated, so I called to see who the nurse on duty was, but it wasn't Nurse Excitable.
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So sorry, I feel that I have made a mistake joking about hitting someone at all. When one turns on the news and reruns of our commander-in-chief is promoting same, I must in good conscience reject that kind of humor.
I apologize, and sincerely never meant to spread that kind of behaving badly.
Good thoughts everyone!

JJGood, Your way is okay, (behaving well but thinking), lol.
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Everybody else, but me is behaving badly right now.
But they won't confess.
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It's 8:30 and I am still in my nightie sitting at the computer and thinking up excuses for not getting dressed and going out for exercise.... again. Is that bad enough?
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