Only a few months into care giving and I'm sad.

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As briefly as possible--I cared for my alcoholic, mentally ill father when my mother had had enough. I was 22. Hospitals and nursing homes. Mother died in 2008 of ALS.
Now my FIL is ill. Just when my hubby and I were going to be empty nesters, we are instead dealing with a second hospitalization and rehab stay in 6 months. Oddly, he's not really the problem. It's my negative, passive-aggressive, non-driving MIL. For the sake of convenience, she'll be moving in with us while he's in rehab. It's terribly unlikely he'll ever go back to their independent living apartment.
It's only my husband and myself looking after them. His brother is looking after their special needs 3rd brother.
I'm feeling sad about the loss of what was going to be a bit of freedom for us. I know this is just the beginning of a very long row to hoe. This could go on for years, as Dad is medically fine--just incontinent and very, very shaky on his feet.
Frankly, I'm scared that if I feel this way now--what will get me through this?

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If you can't set boundaries while MIL still lives at her house - RUN FOR THE HILLS. Do NOT bring her in to your house. Decide what one or two days a week you will help her. Listen to the advice of others on this site. Stay strong otherwise you'll be buffaloed into being a resentful, unpaid, ill slave to your ILs.
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If you can't set boundaries while MIL still lives at here house - RUN FOR THE HILLS. Do NOT bring her in to your house. Decide what one or two days a week you will help her. Listen to the advice of others on this site. Stay strong otherwise you'll be buffaloed into being a resentful, unpaid, ill slave to your ILs.
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You say that MIL is insistent, lacks boundaries, is unreasonable in her demands. This is not someone that would come and stay in my home, for more than a couple of days. Certainly, not for weeks or months. If she can't be managed living elsewhere, I can't imagine how disruptive she would be in my home.  I'd discuss it with husband and figure out alternate plans.  
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I'm not sure why you are letting your MIL call all the shots. She can hardly force you into your car and take her to the hospital. I reiterate what I said before, give her one day a week, or 2 if you're feeling generous and live your life. Perhaps your hubby needs to step up and talk to his parents.
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Oh I see! D'oh!

Hm. I wonder if a dangerous precedent was set the first time, and MIL stayed in the OP's and her husband's home then?
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I think the OP means that this is the second time in 6 months that her in-laws have been in hospital and then rehab.

Do NOT have her move in with you. Do not drive her to the rehab. You are allowed to say " no".
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MIL is unreasonable. You can't reason with her. You do not have to reason with her. You have to decide how many times a week you can take her and bring her back. Your activity, your decision. I don't think you quite understand what boundaries mean, yet.

Even if it is much less convenient for you, let your MIL stay in her home. Bringing her into your home is the camel's nose under the tent.
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Are you thinking that after the hospitalization and rehab, your FIL will need skilled nursing rather than AL? If so, moving MIL in with you just while he's in rehab will probably turn into MIL living with you permanently. I understand your husband not wanting to worry about what ifs, but you have to with elderly parents. You need to stay a step or two ahead - my mom was hospitalized and we had two days to find a good NH - that was pretty rough.

You're fortunate - you have six months to think this thru and come up with a couple workable plans. Practice saying "it's not possible for us to do that". It's a sanity saving mantra.
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No taxis in your city?

If MIL wants to visit every day, she can get a cab, can't she? And then once or twice a week, as you and DH think right, you can take her and visit too. It's no bad thing for an elderly lady to make friends with a reliable cab driver or two, and it's not reasonable for MIL to expect you and/or DH to act as unpaid chauffeurs.

How long do you expect the rehab stay to be? At first I misread your post and was thinking aghast "six MONTHS? Six months in rehab??? Wow!" - but then I understood that the op and rehab after are due to take place in six months' time, is that right?
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Boundaries! What is she going to do if you take her to I L facility and tell her " we'll take you to visit on Saturday"?

If she can get there on her own, fine. Otherwise , leave her be.
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