I'm an only child, no siblings to share caregiving. I'm divorced, but in a committed relationship. My mom is in an assisted-livng facility because my dad couldn't care for her. Now, he's at home by himself, asked me to come help him clear out, downsize and update to prepare home for sale. Somewhere along the line, he's changed his mind. I've temporarily moved in to clear out and prepare their home for sale. He's beligerant, disrespectful and expects me to work full time and take care of responsibilities at home. I'm at my wit's end. I'm ready to move back to my own home 2,000 miles away. My mom would be happy to come along;

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How long did you expect "temporary" to be? I suggest you don't leave it open-ended. "I'll be here until the end of May, Dad. Let's continue with the plan to spruce up the house. If you decide to sell, you'll be ready. If you continue to live here it will be more pleasant. I'm going home one weekend in April, and I need time for myself while I am here. And I also need time for visiting Mom."

While you are there you'll get a much better sense of his capabilities and needs.

If both of your parents are wind up in ALF, would they consider moving near you?

Ahh... dad is 77, mom will be 80. Dementia could be an issue I guess. Former Korean war veteran and diagnosed with a nerve disorder (trigeminal neuoralgia) few years ago.It's controlled with medication and goes into remission. Both dad and I have noticed that mom is definitely more demanding...much like her mother before her! Ha! Thank you for your words of support.

Sweetie, you don't say how old mom and dad are. Is it possible that dementia is also taking a hold of dad or is he always like this? I found that as mom aged, she got more and more demanding. I think it's a part of aging. You're a wonderful daughter for doing this for them but remember that you too, need a break sometimes. Take time for yourself also. Maybe your dad is just not himself without your mom there. Selling and moving from a home is sooo hard on older folks. To me it's's stressful beyond belief. Take care of yourself and know that you are an angel.

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