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If this was an ongoing slogan I'd be heartily tired of the campaign. I mean, to what purpose is it for? Is it because Mom is down? Has persistant low mood?

Adjusting to the losses age brings can be relentless. Reduction in friends, becoming lonely. Reduction in health, loss of independance.

Some things just can't be fixed.. But, our attitude can change!

With a positive spin "You're all I have" could be spun into "I'm so lucky to have you in my life". I don't mean to stamp a super-happy smiley face emoji over every real feeling Mom expresses, no. It's OK to be sad, to be lonely, to get down. It's OK if Mom feels she can be real with you, but there is a difference between having a heartfelt conversation & an over-used woe-is-me on repeat.

Do you get the vibe Mom is depressed? If so, that may be worth talking to Mom & her Doctor about?
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Beatty, I am 69 and am grieving the loss of my best friend who at 71 is gone too soon as far as I am concerned. The mobility limitations of my other friends have impacted the things we loved to do together. My husband who is 4 years older than me just announced that he has joined the ranks of the elderly and can no longer do the things he used to do. We are supposed to go to Italy for three weeks for my 70th birthday, I am now really worried about how this is going to go.

This reduction in my life has hit me at such a young age. It is hard not to be depressed about it. Especially when I see how much time I continue to flush down the toilet dealing with my parents' issues. I am determined not to let it get me down but boy this is hard
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Hothouseflower, your trip to Italy sounds wonderful! My hubs (almost 68) and I (66) were in Greece this past Oct 2024. Just a few days of sightseeing, walking everywhere on hard stone streets. My advice is to make sure you are "in shape" for this trip by walking as much as possible prior and to absolutely spend money on good, comfortable shoes (that you break in before your trip). Maybe you travel a lot already and know this stuff, but after Athens, I developed a chronically inflamed achilles that has limited my physical activity since. I just had to spring $$$$ for a PRP shot (not covered by Medicare) as an attempt to cure this problem. It's not like I wasn't in shape before my trip to Greece (playing tennis multiple times a week, gardening, walking, golfing, swimming), and that's what is so hard about my current problem. I also have arthritis in my toes, instep and knees. No gel cortisone or gel injection has done much. The PRP doc consultant told me I might be a "non-responder". Great. "This reduction in my life has hit me at such a young age. It is hard not to be depressed about it." I totally get that, in spades. At 66, my Mom was running circles in comparison. She's now 95 and still does her own housecleaning, laundry, gardening. She goes up and down a full set of stairs in her home (living next to me). I have 2 full sets of stairs in my house and now I have to think long and hard about if I really have to get what's upstairs or downstairs, just to avoid the climbs. Ugh. Are you doing a cruise? Bus tour? Renting a villa?
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Hi, hothouseflower, I just left a travel agancy, for my trip to Ireland in September. Ya just never know what's going to pop up , from here to there. I will say , my doctor already gave me meds for a UTI, so that doesn't hit me again at an unexpected time. I seem to get one only when I travel. So that's something you might want to think about.
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You are right. In many families (like mine) there can be multiple siblings and full responsibility for the aging parents will fall to only one. Almost every time that person is a daughter.

You mother is trying at manipulation of you and guilt-tripping. She expects you to quit your job, get her out of the rehab, move in with her and basically become a slave to her. My mother pulled this with me and I have siblings.

When your mother starts up with 'You're all I have' nonsense which is a manipulation tool, you should ask her 'Whose fault is that?' You do not owe your life to your mother. She is in care which is where she's supposed to be.

You did not cause her fall or her old age. It's not your fault.

Tell her plainly that is she can no longer hold a normal conversation that isn't a manipulative guilt-trip, you will no longer call her or visit. Tell her up front that you're not moving her in with you, nor are you going to move to her area to live with and take care of her. Let her know this.

When she starts up on the phone with you, that's when you end the call.
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