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Today is one year since my Mom died - in hospital hospice. Despite Covid, I was allowed to stay with her 24/7 for the last 6 days of her life. They were the most agonizing yet the most "holy" of my entire life. I spent many months engulfed in the pain, guilt and suffering of grief ...paralyzing depression, incapacitating anxiety, wishing for death as a release from the pain. I am most grateful for the wonderful people on this forum who were not scared to enter the pain with me and help pull me from the pit of despair.
Grief counseling, friends, family, my job, my Church, all played a part in helping me heal. Now, a year later, a scab is forming - no daily bleeding, but definitely pain when the scar and scar are touched. All I want to do is say "thank you" and express my gratitude for not giving up on me, for the "tough love" I got, and for everyone pushing me FORWARD. I never thought I would survive - but I have - and in large part I have you, my co-grievers to thank ....always in my heart. I love and appreciation, Laura

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It is good to hear that you are on the otherside of your crippling grief. Well done!
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I thought I answered here, but must have pushed the wrong button. I so remember each of your posts, Laurabelle. It is so good to hear from you and to have this wonderful news from you. I hope you will stay here because your journey is all credit to YOU. I passed the first anniversary of my brother's death last month, as well. I think they will always be with us; the best way to honor them is for us to help others whether through grief or another problem. You have learned so much, and again, that credit goes to YOU. It is hard work to leave habitual ways of thinking and dare to attempt to look at things in a different way. It is so good to hear from you.
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Thank you for sharing your journey and progress. I spent almost a month last summer with my dad during home hospice. It’s one of the most honoring and stressful times of my life. It was beyond difficult to see him out of this world, yet I feel privileged to have been there. Grief now comes in waves, some bigger, many smaller. We all must try hard to focus on the memories of happy times, it helps healing. I’m glad you’ve had many come alongside you to help you heal and I wish you comfort and peace
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