On My Mind

Need: Prayers coming for your brother AND you. It definitely sounds like he has some medical problems and it is good he is getting them addressed at the hospital. I am glad that you did get something to eat and took half of it home.

My thanks to Countrymouse for making this thread. I do like this little corner of AgingCare. It’s a nice getaway.

Thank for the detailed update, Need (Sorry for my n/Need) typo lower down.

I agree your bro is where he needs to be. It sounds like he has some serious health issues. It's very good of you to step in and be there as a support for him.

I'm glad they got him his BP meds. It's important for him to have them.

I guess the picture will be clearer when they have more test results.

I am sorry your older brother has serious health issues too. Having them both ill must weigh on your mind.

I gather your younger bro's kids are not in a position to be of much support to him. That's too bad.

It's understandable that your hub can't go there as he is overwhelmed with work.

One step, one day at a time is enough for us to cope with. Please let us know that you are eating/drinking something other than coffee. Maybe some soup? R is like you - when he is stressed he has a hard time eating.

Hang in there. We are here for you.💛 (((((((hugs))))) and prayers

They are still doing various tests on my brother.

He had one procedure done earlier today. The results weren’t clear to me because I haven’t spoken to his doctors. I don’t know if my brother even uses MyChart. I’m not his POA. He gave authorization for me to receive medical information at the hospital.

He’s still very uncomfortable, in spite of being on pain meds.

The nurse said the results in the doctor’s (urologist) notes indicated he removed blood clots and possibly a tumor.

The procedure that was scheduled later couldn’t be done. That was to check on gallstones. The nurse said something about difficulty during the test can happen due to a person’s anatomy. The doctor will get back with him tomorrow.

When he went to the ER he realized that he hadn’t taken his BP meds. They ordered his BP and his heart meds.

He has a catheter in and still has blood in his urine.

So, it looks like he will be there for awhile longer.

My older brother is not doing well so it’s just me visiting. He is the one who has been married four times but they all get along very well. He has serious heart issues, prostate issues and a bunch of other things.

My younger brother has a complicated relationship with his children. One child lives in another state. He was married twice. His first wife had bipolar disorder and didn’t take her meds. They had a very messy relationship and divorce. She died with cancer.

She wasn’t a stable person, so it was impossible for her to be a stable mom. He didn’t really have the opportunity to form a strong relationship with his children. It’s a very sad situation.

His second wife moved back to NC. He’s been divorced for years.

I am going to try to take things one day at the time instead of getting to far ahead of myself. I’m sure that I will be less stressed when we have more information.

My husband isn’t going to the hospital with me because he is swamped with projects at work.

My brother is where he needs to be at the moment, so I am comforted by that.

Thanks to everyone for your kindness and support.

I didn’t get coffee from the coffee shop. I ordered an herbal tea and a veggie wrap. I ate half and the other half is in my fridge.

Need: Kindly make sure to get some nourishment in the way of food. I do understand that your brother is quite ill. I hope that he has support other than just you. You're doing everything that you can and I am concerned that you could burn out if you are his sole support system. Hugs and prayers sent.

Need, don't drink too much coffee when you are already feeling stressed. Not a good combination.

Take care of you.

It's a bad year for forest fires in Canada. Alberta has declared an end to the emergency situation but there are still many fires burning,

\Way - not much change in the ones I mentioned before. Fort Chip has been evacuated and the fire there is still out of control. We had a lot of rain and I think a little fell in Chip but not enough to make a much of a difference. It will depend on the wind and the rain whether the fire grows towards the housing or away from it.

We now are at moderate risk of a fire which is a huge improvement on extreme. More rain next week hopefully.

huuuuge hugs to you, sweet need. poor you, and your poor brother. i hope he recovers! i hope your stress decreases.
❤️❤️❤️

We have haze, smoke and poor air quality here in NYC from Quebec fires.

I was watching the news on CHCH Hamilton tonight and it was sure looking hazy over there, seems like the whole country is burning this year 🤔

Golden, Are the fires (in the west ) out by you ? We have a smoky haze and air( bad) quality alert by me from the fires in Quebec .

Need, (((hugs))).
Get the hospital social worker to talk to your brother.

Oh n\Need. I am so sorry you are feeling such stress. Yes, a dysfun fam messes us up in more ways than one.

You can't possibly be solely responsible for your bro's care after hospital. There are facilities and Medicaid if needed. Is your dh a support for this?

Being as objective as possible is good. You can do this!

Please not too much coffee - the caffeine only raises anxiety. But be sure to keep well hydrated and have some food even if you cannot eat very much. Maybe something liquid and nourishing.

Deep breaths, need. I agree with Barb that contacting your therapist is a good idea, As Send says, we are with you

Sending love and prayers. Keep us updated!

Need,
Godspeed and traveling mercies.
Prayers for your brother.

Maybe see the hospital social worker or discharge nurse while you are there.
Not knowing is the stress that can take you down.

With a dysfunctional family, maybe starting with "We cannot possibly care for him at home" will help the hospital to find care for him, a direction to go in.

Go easy on the coffee, check out the cafeteria today.

Some deep breaths, take the forum with you. We are listening....

Nhwm, please consider giving your therapist a call today.

I’m procrastinating in going to the hospital and making another cup of coffee.

Growing up in a dysfunctional household can really screw up our emotional well being in times of distress, can’t it?

This is how I get when I am upset, drinking coffee, not eating when I am stressed. Just sinking a bit into depression and anxiety because memories come back to haunt me.

I don’t know where to begin. I’m concerned about my brother. He and his wife divorced many years ago. He lives alone and is not dating anyone.

He is 65 and dealing with numerous medical issues. Even though we were close growing up he doesn’t share his feelings easily.

He is scheduled for surgery today. Other procedures and surgeries will be following.

My mind is going in different directions and I am consulting with my older brother about what needs to be addressed.

My older brother is not able to be with me at the hospital because of his own health issues.

I feel awkward about speaking with my brother about future care, yet I feel that it’s important. I love him but I do not want to be solely responsible for his care after he is released from the hospital.

I will do what I can to help arrange care for him. I have a feeling it will be a bit awkward, somewhat complicated and stressful. He is struggling financially.

I fear becoming overly involved because of his needs. I am hoping to look at this situation as objectively as possible.

His situation is very serious and I don’t know if he has any final arrangements made. I don’t think that he does. He hasn’t ever said anything to me about the topic.

Thanks for listening to me vent. My stomach is in knots and I am doing my best to remain calm. I appreciate everyone’s support, kindness and prayers.

I will try to update later. I’m struggling with anxiety right now.

Need, prayers for your brother, his care team and you.

Aw, Need, so sorry!

((((Hugs)))).

Need: Hope your brother is okay. Prayers.

Need: Our son in law has a great appetite.

NHWM, you are always here for so many so moving that forward for you. Hope you feel better in the morning. So much doesn't get easier but maybe sometimes we might feel stronger. It certainly is difficult when one is staring the affliction in the face. Wishing you strength and the help your brother needs.

((((Need))). No it doesn't get easier. Please be very kind and gentle to you tonight. Looking forward to hearing from you in the morning. Prayers!

Best wishes to you and your brother Need.

Just sat down in my car. Waiting a few minutes before I drive.

Thanks everyone. Sadly, my brother is in pain and has numerous issues.

I can’t really text right now. I’m too upset. I will go back in the morning. I’m exhausted.

This never gets any easier, does it?

NHWM- I really hope it's nothing serious.

Need hope your brother is OK.

Need, hope your brother is better soon.

Need, good wishes to your brother. You took a sweater, right?

Need - so story. Prayers for your bro and you. Keep us updated.