On My Mind

Regarding contributors who are on break or have left... I've gotten really good at reminding myself that "Nothing stays the same forever." This is true across the board in life. Change is relentless and it gets more difficult to accept and adapt to as we age. I have a "tradition" with my youngest son to dramatically declare, "It's the end of an era!" whenever something or someone or somewhere we've grown accustomed to changes permanently or goes away.

No social platform will ever be perfect or safe. Another very apropos saying: "The nail that sticks up gets hammered." This is an absolute truth for every social outlet, platform or forum from now until eternity. Technology is not the problem, people are.

You see how suddenly you need to worry? One more worry, when our lives are already full of worry.

I’ll take a break now from social media. My vacation’s coming up!

Hmmm.....hopefully we'll be fine.

“Or can we be banned for this too?”

Yes one can be banned for whatever they like. I took the courage to say here what I think, in my response below. You see how uncomfortable it’s gotten? You have to keep wondering, will I get banned now? (Anyway, stay well, all of you. I’ll take a break too.)

Inquiring minds want to know. :)

I just had a thought. Are we even allowed to be having this discussion? About the site and how it's changed? Or can we be banned for this too?

Pam, that’s exactly how I feel:
“And with the new rules I have to bite my tongue a lot! Or get banned !”

You can’t honestly say how you feel. Before you could: and that was good, because not every poster should be encouraged; some posters are up to no good in their “caregiving” and should be honestly told so.

Some people maybe disappeared from the forum because of that: you can’t be honest anymore. You can hardly criticize anymore. It can also be embarrassing to be banned; a sort of public stigma attached to it. One might not have deserved to be banned at all. Yet, then there’s a kind of public stigma, “that’s the person that got banned”. Of course that changes the friendly atmosphere and feeling, of the forum.

Then there was the whole technical issue too. Hacking. Buttons that took forever to fix, for example “delete”. It took them half a year to fix “delete”. That’s just weird. There was something weird going on. People might not feel safe on the forum, with such strange things happening.

Pam, you are right. It's not the same on here. It's a shame really cause I used to see this forum as a sort of haven. The old crew seems to have splintered a bit. That's not to say that there aren't some really great new posters cause there are but I miss the old gang and how it used to be. But I guess that's social media. People come and go.

venting: That perfume would be a huge migraine trigger for me.

I just took a 2 week vacay,and even before that i was getting sparce on here, so I understand the need to take a break. It is not the same as it used to be, and that breaks my heart as this was a place I got tons of good advice. And made many friends. Lately it seems to be aimed towards more self centered people and thier needs than on caregiving. And with the new rules I have to bite my tongue alot! Or get banned ! So I am am mostly just reading and likeing,, not posting as much. I also miss my old friends. So if I dissapear,, hopefully I am not dead,, just gone,,,

More excellent examples of replies to rude comments:

1. Why would you say that?
2. Why do you feel the need to belittle me/others?
3. Do you know how rude/awful/petty you sound right now?
4. Did I ask for your opinion?
5. Does belittling me make you feel superior at this moment?
6. Where did you learn your manners?
7. What qualifications do you have to judge me?
8. Why do you think I should consider your opinions?
9. Is judging other people a hobby, or are you a professional?

Too bad about Glad. I hope she comes back. Frequent Flyer and others as well. I get attached to regular posters. :(

But I understand wanting to take a break too.

Okay. I thought you were talking about posts on this forum.

Applefrom, how about you’re sitting somewhere and a random stranger makes a rude comment? How about you’re talking to a family member and they say something totally disrespectful to you? How about you’re minding your own business, and someone unexpectedly makes a comment that puts you down?

The example response I gave below is one way to reply to such comments.

If you don't want opinions you shouldn't post online where people can comment.

Random comment, but too good not to post.

This is about a possible response to any kind of crap comment.

I saw on the internet:
“Someone (anyone) says something out of line/too personal/rude/stupid and I've been replying with, "I am not interested in your opinion on this matter, but if you would like to discuss the weather, I would love to hear your thoughts.””

FF left a message on her profile that she was taking a break.

Alva,

I miss seeing previous posters too. Yeah, breaks are good from time to time.

😉

Important update: My whole house still smells of perfume, one week after having broken the perfume glass bottle. Still loving the smell.

Thanks so much for the update, Need.

I think many of us can use a break, and find it useful. I will be off grid July 15-August 15 as I am yearly, and I always benefit from that time without social media in general. It's always my intention to keep it cut way back when I return from being off grid. But slowly it seems to creep back in, insinuating itself I always think, but I am afraid I am the one to blame.

Garden Artist. Also don't see Country Mouse. So very many. Some show up infrequently, like WindyRidge, and I always enjoy seeing them again.

I messaged Glad awhile back and she said that she was taking a break. She hated all of the stuff that happened right before AgingCare banned a few people. She felt that the forum was getting ridiculous instead of helping people.

I don’t think I have seen FF posting anything recently.

Also, there were all of the technical issues. I wonder if some people didn’t bother with getting their account fixed.

Alva and Barb helped me to get my account fixed with Ashley at AgingCare.

Missing fregflyer also? Anyone know where she is?

Of interest for me as I recommended an ER is itsmehere who, several months ago now I think, was complaining of severe abdominal pain and who was convinced by us to check with her local ER.
Never heard another word afterward from someone who seemed an engaged responder? I had sent a PM asking she update us to let us know she was OK, but nothing.

Glad hasn't been here since the shakeup Gershun :(

Has anyone seen Gladimhere on here lately? I've been wondering about her. I sent her a private message but she hasn't responded.

Send: You're very welcome. Thanks for the llama.

Thank you Llama! 🦙️

Send: Congratulations great grandmother!❤

My maternal grandmother was born on Independence Day, 1894. Today is her 129th Heavenly Birthday. Happy Birthday, Grammy. I've already surpassed her in years since she only lived to age 74.

Cat: Your baby pic is precious as your new avatar!

NHWM,
Thank you!