On My Mind

So angry today; my neighbor, who has a 40 year history of smoking before she quit 4 years ago, was diagnosed with lung cancer that has already spread to her brain after she had a seizure IN SPITE of going to the doctor multiple times over the past year with a cough! Never had a lung x-ray. Never had a scope! Nothing! What in the hell did the doctor think he was doing? Even I know you get a chest x-ray for persistent coughs - I had several over the years just to check my asthma wasn't pneumonia.

There's absolutely no hope for her now - the cancer has spread too far. Maybe a year and a half ago when she first went to the doctor but not now. Why didn't she insist on an x-ray?

You’re a kind person, Robin. Don’t be like me: I’m busy filing my 32 teeth, in case I need to bite bad people in the future. In case, karma takes too long.

I also wish us all a splendid day! :)

I’ve realized as I’ve been writing ridiculously long posts recently (many thankfully deleted) that I’ve been struggling with some new parts of caregiving that aren’t tangible “how do I do x” things. I’ve learned an awful lot from folks on here. Some of it intended, some not, and some definitely do not do, but all helpful.

I appreciate the grace and patience I’ve been afforded to noodle through this stuff. Thank you.

The wind is changing here.

Robin, (((Hug)))

haha Venting, I’ve definitely lowered my standards. Some days splendid might just be not having poop in my hair. Day here is still early too. 🙂

“Hope everyone has a splendid day.”

Thanks! I wish! I don’t know when was my last splendid day.

Haha, thanks Beatty. Ironically I’ve seen a cardinal in my own yard today so the day is looking bright at the moment.

Venting, depending on where in KS Cat’s friend is going, there are some nice IL places. Also Cat, my mom’s neighbors have stayed in touch with me, and maybe if you and your neighbor wanted, you could either write to each other or chat by Zoom sometimes? Might make her transition easier.

Hope everyone has a splendid day.

Cat, good! Let’s hope it all works out for her. I understand you’ll miss your neighbor!!

I have the best neighbors in the world! Truly good people.

Venting she doesn't have dementia and is very active. Kansas is close to her sons&grandchildren. She's Columbian and has a close knit family. I think it will be good for her. I doubt she'll jump off the roof.

I'm a bit behind here but these words jumped out at me from HappyRobin;

"today when I grump at the world"

Hope today is better Robin!
If not, let's grump together 😖😖

Gershun,

Yeah, it’s hard for me to eat anything if I am upset.

Need, I'm the same way. I lose my appetite when stressed.

“Her 3 sons found a nice IL community in KS.”

I hope they’re doing the right thing for her. Some people lose the will to live, when they’re taken away from their home.

Our sweet 88yr old widowed neighbor's moving in a couple weeks. I'm so upset, she's my second 'mother' :( Her 3 sons found a nice IL community in KS. They worry about her living alone although she's healthy/mentally fit. I'll really miss her

Oh! I’ve never met anyone like you, who loses appetite when stressed. ((Hug))

I need less stress. Less problems. We all do.

((Hug))

venting,

It’s funny how everyone is different, not better or worse, just different.

I am the exact opposite of you. I can’t eat when I am stressed. I completely lose my appetite.

Some people reach for food for comfort when they are stressed and others push it away because food will make them nauseous if they try to eat when they are stressed.

When I’m stressed, I eat a lot of junk food. Every time I type, Ventingisback, I almost type:

VentingisSNACK

Thanks MD. I think my user name is purely aspirational most days. It’s good to meet you too!

The cats are lecturing me about the importance of sleep, and I shall listen to them. For once. Sleep well!

Thanks MD. Lol, I wasn’t that patient. The main rant wasn’t deleted, just the nice paragraph at the top that I replaced with the meta-rant. It seemed apropos of my life lately.

You’re right, I’m solo. Well, and the helpful cats of course. Can’t have official paperwork without cat hair scanned in. Objectively I think I’m doing a good job within big constraints, but just not fast enough or well enough for some others so mostly I feel like I am failing all day every day, except like today when I grump at the world that time, money, math and me have limits and we’re all well past them.

Thanks for the support.

🤬🤬🤬🤬

I started my rant here with a nice paragraph, but in the way my life has gone lately, I hit something on the tablet, and I can’t get that paragraph back.

I don’t want to be on this forum (you’re all very nice and can come to my imaginary pool party though (See? My nice paragraph was about being at a pool I don’t have)). I don’t want to be worried about what a <self-censored> facility owner is going to do because I dared to disagree with them (last time they filed a malicious APS case, although the state agrees with my calculations). I don’t want to worry about a job because of caregiving (I lost it). I don’t want to clean out someone else’s house (so lonely and sad). I don’t want to spent my life sorting, scanning and filing paperwork in order to withstand category 5 audits (I rate audits like hurricanes, but unless I work for the IRS or Medicaid recovery (I don’t), couldn’t I skip the audit scale and have a nice cappuccino instead?) I don’t want to know the processes for disconnections, delinquencies, pre-foreclosures, loss mitigation or Medicaid unwinding (I do now!). I don’t want to know how to get public assistance for the elderly. I don’t want to write endless emails and make pointless calls. This was just part of my last 24 hours (none of it by a lovely pool).

At least the loved one finally received some small, but welcome, help late yesterday. I nearly burst into tears that I didn’t have to talk to one more person and could finish the week on a positive.

That’s all. I hope this wasn’t the wrong place to put what’s on my mind, and more importantly, I hope your weekend is lovely (but if it involves a pool, please break it to me gently.)

Thanks!

venting,

Good for you in setting boundaries! Hope your problems are resolved soon. Hugs!

I wish us all to have less problems, even zero problems. Some weeks without any problem.

I just helped my mom solve a huge problem. Some weeks ago, I was trying to figure out how to walk away (not totally, but just set things up in an even better way, so I’m really hardly involved). But then a huge problem came up: I didn’t want to leave her with that big problem. So I helped solve it.

Today she wanted to dump another problem on me. I won’t do it. I really, really need to solve my own problems. I have so many.

I’m going to focus on my problems. If not now, when?

@cwillie

The song you're thinking of is 'Fly Like An Eagle' by Steve Miller Band.

Time keeps on slipping
slipping
slipping
into the future

Very lucky: I just solved the problem that was thrown at me (created by rude + dishonest people in the health“care” industry, who “care” for my mom).

Now back to my work.

You're welcome, dear Llama.

Send: Good evening. Thank you for the llamas.

Goodnight Llama!

🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️🦙️

MD: Thank you. Good evening.