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More for you cwillie!
Enjoy your candy~
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Looks like it will be cold and wet on the 31st so likely very few will make it down my street for Halloween. This after a week of such glorious weather I gave in and went out and bought something to hand out. Oh well 🤷‍♀️
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Blickbob - I'm thinking that your mom may have been right that her wound was a small skin tear rather than a bed sore. Bed sores are like icebergs in that the wound is 75% below the surface so once you notice an actual sore the damage generally isn't something that clears up in a week, my mom's stage one sore (red spot but no visible wound) took weeks to disappear. On the other hand I was devastated when I caused a skin tear when I repositioned her with a little less care than usual, their skin really is very fragile.
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Update on my mom:

The bed sore has nearly disappeared. We got Neosporin and a bandaid on it every day for the past week. There hasn't been any sort of bleeding for a few days.

Thanks for praying for her.
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Blickbob,

Decubitus sores progress fast. Call Mom's PCP. Get an immediate remote appointment. Show doctor the decubitus sore (use your phone live). Doctor can prescribe an RN wound care specialist to come to the house and treat the sore.

Also, Mom needs to be repositioned in bed every 2 hours.

If she does not already have a bed that has the mattress that prevent bedsores get one asap. You can rent one from your home healthcare supply house.
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Thanks Bundle of Joy! I needed that!
🌞🌞🌞
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to anyone who needs to read this:
❤️🙂

Don’t quit.
Somebody is praying for you and you will make it through this.
God is on your side.
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Thank you Ali and 97.

It's been an odd grieving experience as I didn't really have a relationship
with my brother.

We didn't have a celebration of life or funeral. Seems almost hypocritical to do so when there was little or no contact for most of us in the family and my brother.
So no closure either. Not yet anyway. Do we ever really get closure? I don't know.

Ali, so proud of you and your great grades. You are so smart and endured a lot while you studied. Good for you for persevering.
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Hey Gershun, I just wanted to give you my condolences on your brother's death. I'm sorry. I hope you find your way to peaceful acceptance of all that has happened, and may only the love you shared with your mom and brother remain. I hope you're doing well. 🌷🧡
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Ali, I was just thinking of you a couple of days ago. Congrats on the 90%.
We are all proud of you.
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Gershun
Sorry for the loss of your brother. 💐
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blickbob, it's important to get this bedsore seen to now. Sacral decubiti go "bad" quickly. You need a wound care specialist to treat this as they go "to the bone" and can become septic quite quickly. Speak to the doc today about getting wound specialist consult. These things are like "cat abscesses" in a sense; the flesh is deteriorating in a way you can't see under the skin. My thoughts out to you in this.
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blickbob: Praying.
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Pray for my mom. Earlier today, a tiny spot of blood was spotted on the top towel she was laying on. The small area the blood came from was around her tailbone, indicating a potential bed sore. She had me clean it with soap and get Neosporin on it.

She thinks it could be the result of her pivoting when I swing her legs off the bed, but if that was it, this would've occurred a long time ago. The spot didn't look bad. Based on what's online, it looked more like a stage 2 bedsore than stage 4.
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Ali: Congrats!
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Wow, just wow, Ali. Not that I am entirely surprised. You have maintained an amazing performance throughout your time at school. Congratulations for achieving the MS degree.

Now - what's next??? lol
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Ali, you're amazing! Congratulations! Do keep us updated.
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ABB - congratulations! Over the years I've come to know you as a very, very smart woman who has unfortunately been conditioned to doubt you own worth, I know you'll do great things!
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Hi there!!! I haven't posted on AC in a while, but I just had something amazing happen and wanted to share the news with folks who were supportive of me in the 7-year caregiving journey, and then the years (about 5 now) I've been in school, while maintaining full-time work in a separate field...

Anyway, I just finished this monster of a final exam. Four hours, 175 questions. The professor said the highest score she's ever seen in her students was 86%. She said that so we had realistic expectations of our performance on this tough exam. But... I got a 90%!!! 😁😁😁

So I'm all done with my MS degree, and I'm just taking a moment to soak it all in. Thank you so much to all the nice people around here who kept me sane, kept me company, through the toughest times in my life. Thanks for being happy for my success in school, too. I so appreciate you. 💜
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Thanks Eva. I find it gives me peace.
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Gershun, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Gershun, sorry my phone called you Gershwin. Didn’t notice until now. I hate autocorrect.
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Gershwin, So sorry for your loss. (((Hugs)))
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Gershun: Deepest condolences.
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Golden,
Love that quote by Julian of Norwich.
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Gershun,
I am so sorry about your brother.
Please do not feel guilty. How would you understand as a child brother’s mental state.?
Of course you were afraid of him and stayed away.
I know many who lived in East Vancouver, one co-worker was found there as well. Not many survive that scenario.
Your brother was lucky to escape it and get some decent place.
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Gershun,

Your brother was sick and he was also a person you needed to protect your mother from. Two things can be true. It is hard to separate the disease from the person and to know what separates helping someone from enabling them.

It's still a hard loss no matter what and I hope you have a good support system and are being kind to yourself.
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CWillie, thank-you. You are right! Hindsight is twenty, twenty.

Burntcaregiver, all that you say is very true. I probably have less to feel guilty about than I think. It's hard though sometimes to separate the disease from the person isn't it? When I was young I forgot sometimes that my brother was sick and just thought of him as someone I needed to protect my mother from.

It's a blessing that he is now free of his illness.
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Gershun,

My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your brother, but you have zero reason to feel guilty about anything because you did nothing wrong.

At the end of your brother's life you saw a man ravaged and destroyed by cancer. You felt pity and sadness for him as you should. As any person with compassion and humanity would.

Your brother was also a violent, schitzophenic drug addict who was abusive to your mother who you loved and tried to protect. Anyone would avoid such a person and shun them out of fear for their own safety.

No doubt your brother put you and your family through years of strife and pain. You loved him as a brother and pitied him. You also feared and dreaded him. All of these things can be true at the same time and will cause some very complicated feelings when a person like this passes. You need time and peace to do this. Please don't add guilt to those feelings when you've done nothing to feel guilty about.

My sibling was an addict. My first husband was an alcoholic. Both of them lost their lives to addiction. So, I totally get where you're coming from. When the people who love an addict or alcoholic stop enabling that person, and a tragedy or death happens they will often blame and punish themselves for it when none of it is their fault.

You did not make your brother a violent, drug-addicted schitzophrenic. You did not choose how he lived his life, and you did not give him cancer.
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Oh Gershun, I'm so sorry. I think we sometimes look at our past selves and cringe a little, don't forget that back then we didn't have the benefit of the experiences and wisdom life has provided us.
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