
Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
In none of these cases - shell, cm or I - was dementia the issue. For me I was made aware that I was lacking in many ways, and displeasing to my mother from a very early age. I know I am not a mistake. God does not make mistakes. And I knew it was her problem not mine from an early age. Nonetheless, as I am human, frequent negative feedback took it's toll and I still work on some things. Such is life. None of us is perfect. We all have our challenges.
My SIL was a good mother, despite ambiguous feelings about actually being pregnant so soon after her first child's birth or unexpectedly in her late 20s. Because the number of children was an issue in his parents' marriage, my nephew was exposed to "too much information" at times when his parents said too much during arguments. What never changed is both his parents and extended family loved him and wanted him. Please don't let mere words age and aggravation or dementia have allowed to surface change your basic view of yourself.
I know you are all intelligent women and instinctively know that.
You are loved and wanted by others whether it be your parents or not.
((((HUGS)))) to you all!
BIG HUGS.
Through therapy I come to realize that she couldn't be bother by me. She was a loving and caring mom when we were around my dad, family friends or Drs and nurses, but when it was her and me or her, my brother she was mean to me or just ignore me. It was always about my brother when it came to her.
The other night, I told her that she just never bother with me and that I never felt loved or wanted! She said, "she didn't realize I felt that way and she didn't know why." As we were talking she just looked at me and said, "she wanted a family and after she had my brother she was told she couldn't have kids anymore and she was find with that. But 6 yrs later she got pregnant with a baby she didn't want and she really didn't want me! That the minute I was born, I was the apple of my dad's eye. She went on to tell me I ruin her family, her marriage, her life!" She knew what she was saying to me. This was a time when she was "all there." I can tell when she is out of it and she wasn't! She was all there.
Awhile ago, there was a thread that talked about if dementia changes a person's personality and I thought maybe dementia was responsible for making people mean, hateful, and selfish, but lealonnie stated "dementia shows us who the person really is because it removes the person's social mask and lealonnie was/is right!
My mother did state that "she was now happy she had me because I take good care of her and the house. In other words, she is using me, which I already figured she was.
When I asked her why she didn't want to give me the things my dad wanted me to have she said, "because I don't think you should have them, but now you can!" These things are my dad's knives and his restaurant pans that he bought and the travel trailer and the house. He paid for everything not her! He bought this house before they were married. It was his house and we all knew it.
I wish she was further long the dementia highway so I could put her in a MC! I had 3 Drs tell me that she can no longer live alone or handle her finances, but that she doesn't belong in a MC right now because she can still make that kind of decisions. So I guess, I just wait!
I know God must of wanted me here; I just don't know why!!! I feel like a mistake and maybe I am!! But like I said, "now I understand why I felt the way I did. My life with her makes sense to me. She couldn't bother with me because she never wanted me.
Thank you Send for your words of kindness.
Hugs!!!
You are wanted here.
Your mother might not have planned you, she might not have wanted children, or more children, but that has nothing to do with who you are as a person.
Did she take any kind of care of you?
Did she, or someone say this recently to you, but they might have cognitive decline? People can say some awful things and they are mostly sick. People also say things they don't really mean,
I wonder, as a child, did you ever have a tantrum, and yell "I hate you" to anyone? Maybe it's like that, something like that, and should be just discarded from your mind and heart?
And we know, that God wants you.
I hate Mother's Day and Father's Day for two very different reasons!
Mother's Day just reminds me of what I didn't have and it makes me feel bad for not giving or doing anything special for my mother, because (I guess) no matter what your mom does to you is okay and as children we are suppose to give mom a gift...for what? For making my life h3ll...for being selfish and hateful!
Father's Day because my dad isn't here for me to wish him a Happy Daddy's Day. So it is just a reminder on how much I miss him! 💔
It was in the newspaper one day and touched me so much,I cut it out and taped it on my bathroom mirror.
It brings me comfort.
Tomorrow marks my 5th Mother's Day without Mother here beside me and it's awful but I wish all the wonderful Mother's on here a Happy Mother's Day and hope you have a good one.
What beautiful words! 🎶
Those we love don't go away
They walk beside us everyday
Unseen,unheard
but always near
Still loved
Still missed
And very dear
Many {{{hugs}}}
Sending you lots of hugs my dear friend! 💗💕
Mom, I love you so much and miss you dearly.
Gershun
xxoo
PANDEMIC INFLUENZA OUTBREAK-FINISH TIME-DEATH TOLL
SUBTYPE INVOLVED:
1)Russian Flu1889–1890
1 million
H2N2
2) Spanish Flu1918–1920
50 million
H1N1
3) Asian Flu1957–1958
1.5 to 2 million
H2N2
4) Hong Kong Flu1968–1969
1 million
H3N2
5) Swine Flu2009–2010
over 18,209
novel H1N1
Source: sinobiological.com
We can learn from history.
In 1968, I had the Hong Kong flu. It is said that it was brought to California by returning servicemen from Vietnam. My husband at the time had no illness. All the facts were not in, no one had said it was the Hong Kong flu back then.
I am hoping that is true, because we will be seeing a huge decrease in numbers since we have been over 100° with more of the same on the way.
Send, I have no desire to pick fights with anyone here as we are all caregivers, but I will speak up when I read something that is SO WRONG.
1) Less news on T.V.
2) Less judging others.
3) Acceptance of ourselves and our emotions, or lack of emotions.
4) Get busy in the kitchen, distract ourselves.
5) Take a walk outside.
6) Write it all out, like a journal, but honestly.
7) Take a shower.
8) Focus on something other than ourselves.
9) Build, repair, or accomplish something.
10) Keep wild imaginings to a minimum.