Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
For our grandparents and generations before them, they didn't think much about animal suffering. And then there were people who used fur for survival. Take the Eskimo for instance, without fur, they'd freeze to death. Thanks to modern technology, we create synthetic materials that can keep people warm. I wouldn't judge people from generations ago by today's standard, however. Who knows, a few generations from now, future people will look back at us and say we were barbaric for eating meat.
It was a present to my sister from a male friend, and she refused to wear it for the same reasons as others have stated: animals were killed to create that coat. I wouldn't wear it for the same reason.
Initially I planned to donate it, but got some advice (so long ago I don't remember from who) that it should be cleaned before being donated. Spending even a penny on that coat repulsed me, so I just put it away. I did get an estimate and it was well over what I would pay - something like over $25, and that was well over a decade ago.
It might actually be a home for the mice that somehow get into the garage.
I didn’t accept the fur that was left to me.
Grossed me out, knowing that animals were abused.
Donate to Born Free USA. They use them for orphaned animals to snuggle in to keep warm.
I feel guilty getting rid of it, but animals died to make that coat and I don't think I could wear it.
My mother has a fur cape and I suppose I could wear that at historical reenactments (Colonial era) because at least it is almost historically accurate. I'm feeling uncomfortable about it, though.
I have not restored my email service.
Crunch.
Get some rest! Sounds exhausting.
It is wonderful that furs went out of fashion due to public pressure and exposure.
Shell, yes people can wear a faux fur.
Our parents took us to the circus for entertainment because they weren’t aware of the animal abuse.
Same can be said for whales and dolphins held in captivity, amusement parks are now being exposed.
Some countries have banned these practices. Putting a whale or dolphin in a swimming pool is awful!
Yes, my mother does have a Advanced Directive and it does state that she does not want CPR, feeding tube, ventilation, in fact, it states they are to do nothing to save or extend her life. I have left her alone about the palliative care. It is not worth fighting over, nor is it worth the backlashes that she will do to me. It is her life and her decision. Thank you Alva for all your help and for understanding.
NHWM,
I have a beautiful fur coat, but it is not real. My dad bought it for my mother and she gave it to me after my dad passed away. I think real fur belongs to the animals wearing them. I will say it does look real. I can not imaging killing an animal just for their fur. I had a lady tell me once "if we were meant to wear fur God would had made us with fur!" LOL
I think that's a great summary of life CM 😉😂
I'm not feeling very resilient this evening. It's been - I don't know how long - weeks, months of battering-with-highlights and I'm terribly tired.
I have just restored my email service, all by myself.
I started this project over twelve hours ago.
The IT support man had emailed me the instructions.
We finally have the Christmas rota after months of in-house negotiation [read: squabbling].
I am working early shifts on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and the Bank Holiday.
The Service Manager forwarded me a sweet email from a client of three weeks ago saying that she had been really anxious about accepting support but she'd hardly noticed I was there and could she book me.
My line manager, who was also on the list of recipients, did not forward me this email. I am coming to believe that she thinks praise is bad for morale.
Daughter 2 sent me the job advertisement and is now looking for housing advertisements in the same county. Somewhat prematurely.
I have learned to use MS Teams, thanks to Son.
I tried to look like I knew what I was doing during the virtual interview for the job.
They didn't look like they knew what they were doing.
I have been offered the job.
The employer has graded the offer at a level or two down from where I've worked my behind off to get to. I can't accept it.
I emailed the HR lady to ask her advice.
Automated reply - she's out 'til Monday.
Then my email crashed and I've lost the email I sent her.
My line manager ripped my ears off. Again.
Daughter 1 talked me down from the roof.
Line Manager sent me a message without explanation saying "you're a great support worker!"
I think she must have had the wrong recipient.
I have no idea what I'm doing. Just keep faking, I guess. Is it any comfort that I suspect nobody else knows what they're doing either?
I asked a client yesterday how long she had lived in her 15th century working farmhouse (with its 15th century heating system, pretty much). Eighty years. I do not think she will see the advantage of a nice cosy retirement apartment, somehow. She is not supposed to be mobilising independently, but somebody got the butter and marmalade out of the fridge and I don't think it was the dog...🤔
But I love it so much more when it is on its original owner that I hardly even regret not being able to wear it (though I still do, a twinge).
Ivory and tortoiseshell are very beautiful as well but I would rather look at my dressing table and be reasonably sure that no animals were harmed in the making of my personal clutter.
I'm bloody annoyed about coral, though. I thought they could farm it nowadays - why's it banned???
I still remember when my Sunday New York Times was full of furs at this season. None now. Sure is going out of vogue. I remember my mother way back in the 40s had furs. Remember a black lamb coat and the WEIRD fox neck thingie. She came soon enough to loathe that whole industry for certain.
Hailey, I recommend some of the commercials for your viewing enjoyment. Sometimes it's better than the series. OMG that "Chance" thing on Hulu was AWFUL and I hung in yelling at Hugh Laurie (who once I loved) for being a stupid idiot. Don't recommend. But the commercials were OK. Hee hee.
I am with you on faux fur, all the way! I find furs disgusting!
My husband and I still are sickened by his grandmother’s love of furs. She owned five fur coats! They were in style then.
She was extremely wealthy! Obviously, his grandmother wasn’t an animal lover.
Once she told me to get rid of my cat because she thought the cat would jump in my baby’s crib and smother my daughter!
She believed in all sorts of old wives tales.
She left one of fur coats to me after her death. I refused it.
She treated her housekeeper horribly! The housekeeper loved furs! I gave it to her.
We giggled at the thought of his grandmother being upset that he housekeeper was wearing her luxurious fur!
It barely gets cold enough to wear a fur here.
The housekeeper cranked up the air conditioning to wear it. LOL
She told me that she was going to wear it everywhere and that the ladies at her church would be jealous of it. Crazy!
Shell, I would give up on Mom and the Palliative now. It is become a fight or argument and she is retreating more and more into her corner. I think there is still some fear in all of that. I would just let nature take its course now. I can't remember, but did you tell us she has an advanced directive done already, refusing the extension of life care she doesn't want? That would be a good idea, even if just a paper she does and signs, saying she never wants IV fluid nutrition, tube feeding, ventilators, CPR and etc. This would be honored, esp. since she already had "the conversation" with her doctor, and he basically understands where she is in her own head. Just leave the subject for now unless she herself brings it up. Try a little humor with her. I told my Dad "I promise, I will stand between the doctors and YOU with a SHOTGUN". He loved that; it made him laugh so.
Her Dr tried to talk to her about palliative care and my mother got so upset she was crying. My mother kept telling the Dr that she has no quality of life and no future and the Dr was trying to tell my mother that is why she needs palliative care to make her comfortable and she wouldn't have to go out to see a Dr. However, the Dr had no luck and neither do I. The Dr and I can not get it through her head that she is depress and palliative care could help with that.
If fact, I try yesterday to tell my mother what Alva said in her last post and I even explained to my mother that if she doesn't see a Dr or choose palliative care then she may miss out on having hospice care because she will need a Dr to order it. My mother came back with, "Oh well."
She is now accusing me that I am trying to extend her life and I am not following her wishes! She does not understand that palliative care does not extend life, but that they just give her regular meds and keep other Drs and the hospital at bay. She went on to say, "if I keep bring up palliative care that she will call the cops on me and have me remove from her house." It is cold here and my sig-other and myself have no where to go and not enough money to get a place right now.
Golden, you said it best " you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, but you sure can wreck your own life trying" and I have already been down that road. My mother fights me on everything, even if it is her own good and she has always been this way. I do not have the energy to fight this battle. As some has said on this forum "our LOs has the right to make poor decisions." I am truly at a loss! She it a true self-destructive, know it all narcissistic person. She always has to have everything her way.
I just want to thank you Golden, Alva, NHWM, Send, Garden, and everyone that have been supported, given me much needed advice. But I just have to let this go for now because I know what I am up against when it comes to my mother. I have learned in life that sometimes you just have to let the chips fall where they may. If my mother ends up in the hospital for whatever reason then so be it! I truly tried! ❤💚
Now there is a musical on NBC tonight. Debating on whether to watch it... I am a purist when it comes to Grinch!
Your mother is still mobile but she has stated her wishes. Mother too always said "no extraordinary measures". Her doctor has heard your mother. Maybe the doctor can chat with your mum some time. Are you able to talk with your mum's doctor apart from her being there?
I know it is hard accepting these stages in decline in our LO. .We all have to work through that in our own way and our own time. ((((((((hugs)))))))
Grab their health insurance card and phone to see if they have used this benefit to get them free over-the-counter medications, products, etc. FUN!
Masks, toothpaste, first aid kit, Depends, all sorts of OTC pharmacy items.
Spread the word....
He has always been my favorite Beatle.
I will tell her what you have said to me, but I have a feeling that she has dug her heels in and won't budge. I will try in a day or two. I made my mother fill out a Advanced Directive Directing and it is on file at the hospital and I have the original copy. In the ADD, it does state that she doesn't want anything done even if it causes her death. She knows that I have to cover my butt because I have medical training and could lose my license. She also knows that she has the right to refuse Tx. I am really trying to come to peace with not making any calls and that I can not do CPR on her...that one is going to be hard! My mother has always been upfront about what she wants when it comes to her health and what she wanted when her time comes to an end. It is a blessing that her and I have come to agreement, but it sure isn't easy! Thank you Alva for letting me know that I am doing this correctly. I needed to read that!!
It’s also the day my husband proposed to me and I received my engagement ring!
Then let her process it a while. If she DOES end up in care again say "This could all have been prevented by a palliative care MD to hold them off with a shotgun". She may agree, and she may not. And to be honest, no MD or palliative care MD the outcome is the same. Ready to go and will be taken when the next thing comes along. I think for yourself, now come to peace with the fact that you will not call anyone. I would ask her to make out an advanced directive directing she does not wish to go to a hospital now under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES even if this should be a cause of her death. Because to be honest, if your Mom strokes at home and you simple do nothing there would be questions. I know you can answer them likely to the satisfaction of all, and your Mom has ALREADY GOT ON RECORD with her MD the fact she now wants to go.
This is hard, but you and Mom are speaking about it, and Shell, you have no idea how RARE that is, how good that is. You are coming to agreement and to peace and this is such a blessing right now. I think you are doing EVERYTHING right in this matter.
I have not seen you posting for awhile. Hope everything is ok. How is your mom?
I tried to send you a message but was unable. Hope you both had a nice Thanksgiving.
My mother is losing her eye sight and her hearing. But you're right, she probably does need some time to process the information. I feel as much as I am at a crossroad so is she!
Give her a minute to process it.
How’s her eyesight? Can she read fine print? My mom struggles to read small print.
If she can read you can leave literature lying around for her to read the information herself.
I have to wonder if my mother has so much self hatred that she punishes herself. Because I never can get her to do something even if, it is for her own good. It has always been that way, she will fight me on everything! I will try again at a later time!
Ugh!!!
Alva, I have been thinking about what you said that "compassion will serve me well." I don't see how having compassion will serve me well.. Where I am from compassion is viewed as a weakness. However, you were a nurse for many years and that tells me that you have been around all types of people and perhaps you know something that I don't. Perhaps, this is another life's lesson. I have a feeling that you are right, compassion may serve me well.