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A few of you have followed me and made comments regarding my situation. I have been caregiver for most of my 60 years to my 91 yo mom and my 103 yo Aunt. My precious aunt, who would have been 104 in March, passed away on Jan 13 in my home where we had cared for her the last 6 months. I miss her terribly, but would never tear her out of the arms of Jesus to bring her back. My mom has turned her back on me in favor of my “golden child” brother who has completely drained her over the years. Under his current care, she no longer gets out of bed, bathes or dresses. She is in heaven! But...so weak, she can’t even walk on her own. Home health and a couple of cousins who look in on her say she is not being neglected or abused...that this is her choice, but it’s eating me alive. Her venomous, hateful words about me over the last year, burn holes in my mind and heart every day. I’m in counseling and pray every that I can some how turn this negative into positive so my husband and I can get on with our lives. We live across the road from them and are currently meeting with our builder to build on the land my aunt left us...with is remote and beautiful. I’ll still be only 5 minutes away, but won’t have to see the house 100 times a day from my kitchen window. Asking for prayers of peace, joy, wisdom and discernment!

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Sounds like you are an amazing person. You did all you could for your Mom. I'm sure if she were in her right mind she would know that too. Don't allow her to take your joy away. You have many good years ahead with a husband, family, and friends that have seen you for who you are. I am proud of you for all you've done. I'm sure it wasn't easy. Here's to you and your new journey.
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What a wonderful gift that your aunt left you a beautiful property! Placing a house on it will be a lasting tribute to her and your love for her. Planting a garden, enjoying its fresh air and trees and nature will be so good for your wellbeing. Let your brother deal with Mom, while you live your new life with thankfulness for your aunt. Priceless.
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I’m sorry for your loss of your beloved aunt. It sounds like you have a lifetime of happy memories of her that I hope will bring you peace. As for your mom, acceptance of what you can’t change is a gift you give yourself and it sounds like you’re on your way. So glad you’re moving out of the line of fire and making positive steps toward the future
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If you know that your mother's hurtful words are untrue, I'd assume that something is not right with her and that's she not thinking clearly. At age 91 she may not fully appreciate the reality of the matter. I know it must still hurt, but, you are dong a smart thing by getting counseling. Maybe, a fresh perceptive will help you and I hope you can find peace moving forward. Thanks for the update.
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"I have been caregiver for most of my 60 years to my 91 yo mom and my 103 yo Aunt."

I assume your mother has dementia. You know from experience and reading here that the elderly frequently turn against the one who does the most for them.

You DESERVE a break and getting on with your life. Your mother is doing what makes HER happy, which is staying in bed. You CANNOT live her life for her and you cannot allow yourself to stress over her decisions, no matter how horrible they are. She is 91.

Take a long break from her. I guarantee she will be asking to see you and will probably be nicer to you when she does see you.
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