Not a question but thank you.

I am so sorry for your loss and send condolences.

My condolences

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear dad. Please don't feel guilty. He was safe and cared for, and he knew that you loved him. I lost both my mom and dad this summer and have found it very helpful to talk to a counselor a few times. Please be kind to yourself - grief is all-encompassing for a while and is truly a journey. I wish you peace as you navigate this next phase of your life.

Dear Star, I cared for my mother in her flat until she died. It was possible for me because it was cancer and it was fairly quick. It was just as difficult as it would have been at her side if she was in a NH. I was sleeping in 2 hour snatches between her wakings, and she died while I was asleep on the floor about four feet away. Perhaps death is ‘wrong and unkind’, but we are all mortal and death is never pleasant to watch. Don’t blame yourself or the NH, no-one is at fault, and probably no-one was unkind or cruel. I did my best, and so did you. Love, Margaret

Take your time to grieve and please don't beat yourself up b/c your dad didn't die while living with you.

Having him in a nursing home was a decision I'm sure you gave great thought to. And he probably had good and bad days--as all of us do!

The bottom line is, you loved your dad, he knew it..and his passing was in his time-I hope you can find peace that he is no longer suffering.

My daddy died 18 years ago today. I am so glad I had such a wonderful daddy. The best thing I can do to honor his life is to strive to be like him.

Time will heal your pain.

I’m sorry things are so rough for for you. Obviously you loved and cared deeply for him. He may very well have experienced the same end-of-life symptoms of not being able to swallow or enjoy tea if he was at home. That’s often part of the dying process. Watching someone you treasure die isn’t always as smooth as we think it should have been been.

You did not wrong him by getting him in a nursing home. There’s a team of people there night and day and caring for someone at home can be exhausting beyond belief. Look for a grief group for support and understanding.

Let yourself off the hook by thinking you somehow 'wronged' your father by having him in a nursing home when he passed away. Would it have been better to have him at home to die, then you may have felt that it was something you neglected to do that caused his death? There is no 'pretty' way to pass, unfortunately. But to blame yourself in any way is the real shame here. We all have a certain number of days to live; when those days are up, we leave. We'd all like it to be swift and pain free, but that's not how it usually is, sadly enough.

My mother is 95 next month; she's been suffering for YEARS now, wheelchair bound and in pain daily with bad neuropathy in her legs. This is her journey to travel, for some reason, and she'll pass when God is ready to take her Home, not a moment before. I'm sorry that she has to suffer like this, and it does seem wrong for anyone TO suffer, but that's how life goes. It isn't meant to be easy and pain free; it's meant to have hardships and obstacles, I think. I take comfort in knowing that when she does pass, all that pain and suffering will vanish and she'll be at perfect peace for eternity.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose a father and it hurts an awful lot. Please be kind to yourself as you grieve this loss and try not to place blame anywhere; that serves no useful purpose. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.

All things in the universe have a beginning and an end. Even stars that exists for millions of years, turn into dust. Humans beings are not the exception. We all die after living several decades. The end is always undesirable but no one can escape. When the body gets close to its expiration date, many illnesses begin to appear, until one of them get serious enough to kill us. Nobody dies when in perfect health, so it's expected that you will be in bad shape before you die. Your father was gradually dying and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Wether in a nursing, hospital or home, he would have died, regardless. There is no need for you to feel guilty.

Star, I’m sorry for your loss. I also had to watch my beloved dad suffer. I have no answers as to why life can be so cruel. Please don’t beat yourself up as you grieve, you cared for your dad and looked out for his best interests and that’s all anyone can ask of themselves. I wish you healing and peace

The Scriptures can answer why we suffer and die. And the remedy. As for the nursing home, what matters is that you were there, you didn't drop him and go your merry way. I've learned over the years that doing our best by a LO sometimes means placing them in the care of others.

May you find comfort in those memories of earlier days, in your belief system, and in your circle of loved ones.

I don't believe that there is a "good" way to lose a parent.  I knew my father was dying from cancer for two years before he died.  I thought I was prepared, but that proved to be an impossible thing to prepare for.  I couldn't breathe, think, or function.  I was driving home and had to pull over and sit on the curb begging God to please just let the world quit turning so that I could catch my breath, but it didn't.  Solace comes over time and the realization that you still have everything that he ever gave, taught, or experienced with you in your heart and mind.  As long as you live, he will live in you.  This has always been the case, we just never realized it.  I will be praying daily for you to find the peace that passeth all understanding.  It has been 38 years and i miss him every day.  I promise that gradually memories of him will change from painful to comforting.

Star, I am sorry for your loss.

May The Lord give you grieving mercies and strength during this new season of your life.

Death isn't always the pretty end so many of us imagine. The final result, though, is peace at last for our loved ones.

We, too, need to find our peace and not continue to suffer on their behalf. You did what you could when you could, and trust me, whatever you did or didn't do did not change the ultimate outcome.

It's only oeen a couple of days. The grief is new, and it'll take a while for it to dissipate. Give yourself that time.

my deepest condolences to you!!! hug!!!

I'm sorry for your loss. May you receive peace in your heart that you did the best you could in the circumstances, and be comforted by his loving memory.