Not a question, a thank you. Mom is gone and I can not explain the grief.

Hi Gemini. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I can only imagine the grief you must be feeling. I hope you are able to work through this sad period and remember the happy times when your Mom was not sick. Rest knowing that she is peaceful now that she has been released from this horrible disease of dementia. Hugs to you.

I read that you said you did have some contact with a hospice grief counselor. Is that right? Were you prepared at all when your mom passed away? Was it sudden, even though, she was on hospice? Had you had any preparation before it happened?

I’m so sorry for your loss. Have you participated in a grief support group or grief counseling? Google grief support in your area. Hospitals usually have group meetings.

Gemini, I’m sorry to read of your loss. I found a unique pain in losing my mother, she was always the one who “got it” if you know what I mean. I miss that, so many situations where I still feel like if she was here she’d just understand it all without a lot of questions or wondering. It’s a uniqueness between mothers and daughters who are close. The grief comes in waves, likely smaller over time, but never completely gone. When I see moms and daughters out shopping, enjoying a meal together, even older daughters helping their aged moms in a tough spot, I quietly wish I could be doing those things and sometimes a tear or two falls. I wish for you peace, moments filled with good memories, and healing from it all as you move forward

Gemini,

My condolences on the loss of your mother. How long ago did she pass away? Grief is a topic on this forum. Just enter that word and you will bring up a treasure trove of articles and posts on this subject. It is now almost three months since my father died, and I have gone to this forum many times to read about others’ journey of grief.

At times I feel as if my father has been gone a long time - years even, and at other times I feel as if it just happened yesterday. I can only imagine the loss my mother is feeling after being married for 67 years. I think, in this case, her dementia is a blessing as it seems to have buffered, for the most part, her extreme anguish.

My latest emotion is feeling guilt that I wasn’t even more demanding and proactive than I was over his care in his last month of life. There are regrets that I have that in my mind could have changed the outcome. “Why didn’t I demand this?”, “Why didn’t I ask that?” As if doing so might have changed the outcome or extended his life.

Sometimes, I can’t believe that I am fatherless. I managed to reach the age of 61, still being able to say, “My father said this, or did this......” I miss that. I did find a lot of comfort in an old grief post from 2010. I’ll be going back to read some more. Thank you for posting.