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Book I thought food and non alcoholic drinks were included on cruises? They were on ours.. I have arthritis, and really nothing is great to relieve pain for me. It comes and goes, and yes I can predict the weather by my ankles and knees. Have fun on your cruise, and relax!
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Oh Book arthritis anywhere is a problem that never goes away. Some things can be helped with surgery others you just have to learn to live with and try to avoid things that case you pain.
Trying Dad's hospital bed is a good place to start, but I persoanlly can never get really comfortable. What works for me is to sleep in a recliner with a small soft pillow or rolled towel behind my neck. Lots of meds can be tried both OTC and prescription. A heating pad also provides a lot of relief. Have you considered one of those foam neck collars?
If you use a recliner you can recline it down to about 45 degrees, raise the legs and put a big soft pillow under your knees. That way your acid reflux is also taken care of.
If you are going cruising during the vacation make sure you have a nice soft scarf to wear round your neck when on deck so the neck does not get chilled by sea breezes.

I had no idea they charged for water on cruises. Your own water bottle won't be exactly sterile after you have used it a few times either Make sure it is really drinkable. It might just be with the extra money to buy the bottled water, there are so many infections on cruise liners.

What do you need the magnets for?
I might also add a few disinfecting wipes as well to clean off bathroom surfaces door knobs etc and some hand sanitizer.

You are such a delicate flower Book so take any precaution you can to stay safe and don't forget to have fun
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I went to the clinic today for my constant neck pain. It radiates down to the middle of my upper back and up to my head. Almost every day for weeks, months. Doc asked some questions.. He muttered before I went to do the x-rays that he hopes it's work-related.... After so many x-ray shots....

I have arthritis in my neck and spasm. I figured it was arthritis or pinched nerve. But spasm??? I quickly responded, "I have spasm?" He showed it to me in the x-ray (which just looks like gray coloring...) He also showed the arthritis in my neck bones - every single neck bone has signs of arthritis. He said that a normal neck curves. My neck is straight up/down. He took his pen and aligned it to my neck x-ray - see, no curve but straight up/down.

Recommendation: anti-inflammatory painkillers, use heating pad for back of my neck, find the right mattress/pillow and …. I need to do away with the wedge pillow (for my acid reflux) because it's putting strain on my neck -being elevated too high...

I have decided that it's time for me to use my dad's hospital bed. It's the only solution if I'm to do away with the wedge pillow. I can crank up the bed to a slightly elevated position and - I no longer need to use 2 pillow below my legs to prevent me from sliding down the wedge pillow. I can always elevate the bottom part of the hospital bed...

For the next few nights, I will be googling everything I can read about neck arthritis - what to expect years down the road, what to eat to avoid inflaming it, exercises, etc... and most of all, to read other people's experiences of their neck arthritis.

Oh! I also need to research on how to prepare for cruises. I did some tentative searches. I need to bring magnets, night light (room can get really dark at night) and my own refillable water bottle (to help cut cost of buying water - just refill my bottle when I go eat breakfast, lunch, dinner...)
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Cccquilter, for the first 6 months after my grandmother passed, I would feel like I would see her in the hallway of her home I was living in (I never actually saw her, I just felt like I should or did), or feel her presence close by. I think that was part of my way of grieving for her. I missed her but I was glad she was at peace.

It takes time. I was caregiving for my grandmother for only about a year before she passed; you were married for 45 years?! It's going to be an adjustment for you to be without him, but you'll slowly work your way through it.

Come here to talk about how you're feeling, if you want to. I think it'd be helpful for you.
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Thanks, so much, everyone! It really helped to read all your responses to my deep wondering if there was something wrong with me! Your caring responses helped me to understand that there is no set way to grieve - that I need to take it at my own pace and just let things happen naturally. I still keep listening for his halting steps on the stairs at home or think I hear them, but this is starting to be less and less. I also need to get on with what is left of my life without him now. Selling the house because I must; I can't keep it financially, and the house is large, too large for one person; meant for a family, so it will be a relief to get into a smaller place.
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cccquilter, I remembered going through this, too, when my mom passed away. My 7 siblings cried silent tears but I didn't. They insisted that I touch mom's dead body in the coffin and 'have closure'. I refused. I felt like a hypocrite. I helped dad take care of mom when I was in my mid-20s. Of that, she was bedridden for over 13 years. She finally died 22 years later. I figured I didn't cry because I was guilt-ridden for being glad that she finally died - because I still had to take care of bedridden father.

It bothered me that I couldn't cry over her death. I figured maybe I was mourning her death even before she finally died. Every time mom lost her old self (stopped talking, stopped eating, stopped swallowing, etc...), I was mourning her loss. So, when she finally died, I was all mourned out..

The other thing that kept circling in my mind - that there was something wrong with me. Why couldn't I cry for her being dead? Maybe I was damaged goods from my dysfunctional childhood.

Anyway, the good news is about 18 months later, out of the blue, one night, I started crying so hard. It was the deep inside crying. I recalled being sooooo confused on Why was I crying? I kept crying and crying. And then, towards the end, a deep sadness hit me. And a thought popped in my head - Mom. I finally cried over mom's death 18 months after she died.

My dad passed away July of last year. I was closer to my dad than I was to my mom. I'm still waiting to cry over his death...

So don't be overly concerned that you haven't cried for your husband. There's nothing wrong with you. Each person has a way of dealing with death. Mine took 18 months later. Yours? It Will hit you - sooner or later. It will come when you least expect it. My sincere condolences! {{HUGS}}
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Ccquilter, I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes, as it was in my case, the caregiving becomes so difficult that the death is not only a release for our loved one, but also a relief for us. It is such hard work that so many do not understand. Take it easy on yourself and the grief may or may not come. It may sneak up on you when you least expect it and however it happens, even if it doesn't is ok.
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ccquilter, so very sorry for your loss, you are in my prayers. Give yourself time, it is still fresh and we all grieve differently. Some find peace and comfort knowing their loved ones are no longer in any pain. And that is ok. Some wail and mourn deeply, and that is ok. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Just let yourself feel whatever it is you feel and that is ok.
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ccquilter, my deepest condolences. Whatever you are feeling (or not feeling) is fine. Perfectly fine. Big hugs.
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cccquilter, I'm so sorry about your loss. Grieving and dealing with profound loss is a personal journey, and each of us does it our own way. The tears will come - for now, you're trying to wrap your head around it all. Be gentle with yourself - no expectations whether societal or self imposed. Hug your kids and comfort each other.
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Thanks, Sendhelp, someone suggested that I was still kind of in shock, but I didn't think so, as it has been a week and a half since he passed. We were married 45 years. He fought so hard to live and there were no goodbyes as he was unreconciled to his own death. He was not afraid; he was too young, only 66, and the same age as my own dad when we lost him. In many ways it was a relief for us, as watching him struggle was at times unbearable, especially with the pain he had. He refused morphine as he did not like the altered senses that came with it and preferred to be in pain and still aware. He is now at rest, no more pain, no more struggle. So I still wonder why I cannot cry it out. I want to, but it won't come on demand.
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CCCquilter,
So sorry for your loss.
It is okay that you have not cried.

Very sorry that you are hurting.
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No longer a caregiver. My husband was unable, after our vacation to the far north, to walk or sit unaided, so he went to our daughters, who works remote and could be home to care for him. He was there almost two months, and he passed away Friday morning November 2nd. I have not been able to cry it out. I get close, but that is it. Is there something wrong with me?
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While going through pictures for Em's funeral we had a wonderful time remembering the past. One upside... the funeral is Sat am, starting at 8 am for the viewing and graveside at 10. Going to have to bundle up my mom!
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Pam, my sympathies to you on your loss. I hope your next days will be calm. Hugs.
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(((((((hugs)))))))) Pam and deepest condolences
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Sincere condolences, Pam.
Praying for you and your family.
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Pam, sending my sympathies on this sad day. I’ll be keeping you and your familiy in my thoughts and prayers.
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Pam, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Sorry for your loss, Pam. Thinking of and praying for you and your family.
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So sorry to hear of your MIL's passing Pamz.
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Condolences to you and family, Pam. Wishing you all some peace about her passing. Hugs.
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I'm so sorry for your loss pam and I'm sorry for all you are going through,
It's good your husband has You to lean on.Take care~
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My MIL passed away today, after being sick all weekend. We were at a family wedding and only found out last night that she had gone downhill. Our daughter visited her this am before work, and I took off today and hubs and I went in. She passed while FIL was with her. So now she is at peace, and my hubs is taking it pretty well, and Daughter is on her way over.
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It’s 1:00am. I’m tired but not sleepy. I’ve been blowing my nose. Not sure if it’s sinus with all that acupressure I’ve been doing.. or the beginning of a flu. I took the box of NyQuil out. Expiring this month. Still good. Uhm... something looks odd. I’ve never seen a purple with a green tinge NyQuil. 🗑 it. I’m going to open the new box that expires next year. One pill will knock me out cold. .. Please No Morning phone calls. Or visitors. I want to sleep 💤 in late.
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Sorry, Book :( Hope you get to feeling better. It does sound like the stress is making you sick. Take it easy and do something nice for you today.
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Poor Book! :(

Can you do something that will take your mind off everything completely? You are terribly stressed and it's making everything worse, don't you think?
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My trip is next week Friday. I hate flying and stressed to the max.  Doesn't help that my flight roundtrip is via Japan.  In the past month, Japan has been hit with 3 strong typhoons.  The most recent one was this past Monday, the previous one was last week.  I will be traveling without a cellphone.  I've learned from a previous trip that not all airports have paid phones at the baggage claim area... Today, I have a sore throat, stuffy right face and feeling very drained.  {grimacing} I had chicken soup for dinner, OJ.  I was going to take the Airborne Vit C but figured it was overkill with vit C. 

Remember when I fell in July 1st?  Well, the arm that got hurt the most at the time, which the xray showed no fracture?  It's been hurting since last week.  I will try to go as a walk-in tomorrow at the clinic even though they don't accept walk-ins on Saturdays.  They're all booked up (as usual).
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On another note, the probate is still going on. I tried to go to the power company to take out dad's name and leave mine on it. I was told that I can't do that until probate is over and the house/land has transferred to the new owner. Since my 2 brothers are also on the Will for the house/land, I will need them to write a letter authorizing me to put the power utility under my name and a copy of their ID. Then, they will end the current contract with me and my dad's name on it. And I will need to apply for the power utility. Really??? Why not just wait until probate's over, I provide the letters & IDs from my brother and just adjust the account? Why do we need to disconnect and then re-apply as a New Account? In this modern time with everything computerized, how hard is it? Why all this red tape? .. I was going to do the water utility but ... after seeing the power, I decided to wait until probate is over to try to change Any of the current utilities (power, water, solid waste, etc...)
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I went to the private family viewing for my Aunty. I was late 30 min. and sat on the 2nd to the last row, next to my 1st cousin (her sister recently passed away from cancer). Another aunty was saying the rosary. Cousin on my right, and her brother (my fave cousin) on my left on the opposite end of the long bench seat (like a pew?) Cousin was discreetly crying. I was discreetly crying. What was worse, as tears kept silently falling, I didn't know Who I was crying for. My mind kept bouncing between my dad, my 1st cousin and my aunty. I felt bad that I wasn't just crying for aunty .. but all 3 people. My deceased aunty's grandkids sang twice to their grandmother. I just started crying more. They also sang for my mom and dad's private family viewing and on the day of their funeral. After it ended, fave male cousin hugged me and refused to let me go off. He quietly but physically held me to join his family (his siblings and mom) in the line to view aunty's body and then to offer condolences to the family.

There were others who were ahead of us. When I was done looking at deceased aunty in the coffin, I turned to look at my uncle. He loved showing public affection to his wife. She always told him to behave. He was just sitting there while his adult children were standing and greeting people... I looked at Uncle. He was devastated. (I think he's also on the road to senility.) In all these years, Uncle and I always joked around with each other every time we met at the Post Office. I looked at him.  He looked at me.  I stood there, opened my arms really wide and looked at him. He stood up and we just hugged so hard. I didn't say anything. Just hugged him. After that, he continued to stand and greet those behind me. {He was manfully sniffling. I was delicately sniffling.}

It's now 10pm. I looked in the mirror. My eyes are still a bit red from silently weeping hours ago. D*rn! I didn't know it was obvious that I was crying. No wonder, male 1st cousin was so solicitous towards me. …. I dread the funeral this Saturday.
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