This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
We go into these drs. appts thinking we are going to find out something and come walking out saying well they didn't tell us sh$#. It almost makes you want to quit going to the damn things. Especially when you have to try to get someone who can barely breathe up and going. And you just feel like "What's the use in even trying anymore."
Well, i guess i will get off of here for now. LOVE AND HUGS STORMYYYYYYYYYY
Ladee – nothing wrong with feeling ur feelings – u have been through more than enough, hope Marie behaves today and has thought about the “talk”
Stormy I am pretty good – a little crabby, which I hate, but pretty good. Cough meds sound good – we use Buckley’s here – strong - wahoo - but it works - mother had c diff from too many antibiotics - she got over it
Jam - wow - good explanation of c diff. mother had it and recovered - no snow till about the end of October –at least none that stays – up here u would be like the people who come from much warmer climes –wearing everything u own and putting a down filled parka on top off it - before the snow comes - reminds me of a story
One year ex and I made a trip to Lake Louise in the Rockies to a seminar about the end of October. It was cool and I like that feeling against my skin. Before breakfast I took a walk by the lake wearing only a suit – no coat. U could see ur breath a little but it was nice and fresh. There were some other people out walking and they must have been from the states and more south than Montana which is south of us. They were dressed with hats and gloves and scarves and parkas. The look on their faces was priceless. Obviously they thought I was a total nut! Maybe they were right!!! ;)
Starri – how’s the trip is going – spa time soon?
Seeme – how’s mum after all the excitement –and r u headed for the spa yet?
YR - hope dad is better today (((((hugs))))) watching someone you love in pain is hard
Vic – seems we do have the bush in common – I am going back to it once in a while now after years away – it is either now or never I think as the years pass by. I will post more about it to share with everyone
54 - more ((((((hugs))))))
Everyone else – let us know how u r doing
Love y’all
Your body has lots of "good" and necessary bacteria. It also has some "bad" or dangerous bacteria. Clostridium difficile is a "bad" bacteria. Fortunately, when you are healthy and not taking antibiotics, the millions of good bacteria in your system keep the c - diff under control and in smaller numbers. However, when you take an antibiotic, the levels of good bacteria are reduced down to a smaller number. If your c-diff is strong and doesn't get killed by the antibiotic along with the good bacteria, then it is possible that the c-diff will overpopulate inside your intestine or colon. When this happens, you may get the illness called clostridium difficile colitis.
When you have an imbalance of bacteria and c-diff takes over, it creates two main types of toxins that affect your body and give you the symptoms of the actual disease. The toxins attack your intestinal wall and left untreated may cause ulcerations. Your symptoms may include diarrhea and cramping at first. The later stages are commonly flu-like symptoms of weakness, dehydration, fever, nausea, vomiting and in advanced stages - blood in your stool / feces. If a patient is left untreated, they can die from it. This is rare. It has been reported that clostridium difficile is mostly only contagious from other people through the fecal-oral route To avoid spreading this - one should clean thoroughly all toilets, utensils and fixtures (wearing rubber gloves) while in the same house or ward to avoid cross-contamination. In addition, people should always wash their hands while preparing food regardless of if they have c-diff or not. While using these simple precautions, normally it is rare to spread c-diff and there is no need for hysteria or paranoia about catching it.
Glad to hear from those that survived the hurricane....and especially with less damage than was thought. If anyone hears from Ted, please let me know.
Pretty quiet around here this weekend. Except for buying groceries yesterday.....that was about the most energy I put forth...:)
I have been reading everyone's posts and keeping up with what you all are doing.
stormy....sorry to hear Dad's leg isn't a lot better....but you don't want him on antibiotics for too long or too much. There is the risk of developing a tolerance, but the biggie would be developing c-diff. Not a good thing.
emjo.....is it snow yet? I don't like cold weather anymore, I'm threatening to move in with ladee....or just take the RV and move in next door...:)
starri.........hope you haven't buried the hubby somewhere in the woods. Check in please....need to hear you're doing okay.
Vic.....give us a smile to start our week! You're a strong person and I admire you for that............
Ros......work, work, work...........hope you and Mom are doing well.
ladee.......try to stay cool today.....maybe you might think about one of the new upright, stand-alone air conditioners.
seeme.....gets to pick out a new roof......what happened with the patio furniture? Did it make it into the "man-cave"?
John......guess the weekend didn't turn out to be so quiet and romantic did it? Maybe next week................
I don't want to leave anyone out......so just jump in and tell us how things are.......
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
Vic-what is going on with your mom's legs? I hope they get better soon. I know we are still having to deal with dads cellulitis in his leg and it still looks bad. And no more antibiotics!!!! eek...
Emjo-how are you doing this morning? good i hope. I still got this mess in my chest. I don't have any allergies except for when the pollen starts falling. I mixed me up some home made cough meds last night. Lemon juice, honey, peppermint candy and rum. So i will see if that helps anything tonight when i can drink it.
Starri-where r u at and how r u doing girl? check in with us.
Ros- how are the babies doing? don't work to hard!!!!
Jam- how are u doing? how is the col these days?
Welcome new comers-still trying to play catch up with everyone. Come back and vent to us that's what we are here for.
Seemieeee-what's up sweetie?
I'm trying to remember everyone don't want to forget anybody.
If i did i'm sorry and i hope you have a good day.
54J-It was good to hear from you yesterday. I hope you and hubby are having a good morning. Try to get away for at least a hour a day it does wonders for the body, mind and soul. You both are in my prayers!!!!! Love you!!!
BIG LOVE AND BIG HUGS TO EVERYONE TODAY STORMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Praying we all have a good day.
Emjo I like the name Ebony. It is nice and short and for the animals it is always better like this. If you have to call them, you don't waste time! I am happy that you are planning another camp. I wish I could get the hell ouf of here.
Ladee, I know what you are talking about. When I have to carry my animals to the vet in the car, and the temperature is very hot, they suffer a lot - I remember that I had literally to wet one of my cats with fresh water during one trip because she was collapsing!!! I hope you have your AC soon.
And now, back to work... What a relaxing summer I had! Like all of you.
poor kitties - between storms and heat that is so hard on them
shawna - hope ur mum's legs cooperate - this has to be hard on u physically
ladee - 105 - I think I would expire - get your new a/c -u need it!!! u really do need a break from the heat
love
jo
beautiful day here at 75 degrees and sun shining - glad to hear that everyone made it through the storm without too much damage
YR so sorry that ur dad is suffering and not much can be done about it - glad u had no damage from the dust storm
stormy - hang in there - u will see the doc soon - hope he can suggest something for dad's leg and also tell you what's going on with the lymph nodes - stress does a number on ur immune system. i always got lots of colds too - we use Cold FX up here - if you take it right away the cold or flu is much less - don't know if u can get it there - do you have any allergies? hope ur doc has some suggestions
john - glad the damage wasn't worse - if a old oak was uprooted the wind must have been pretty fierce
starri - nice pics - hope things are working better - maybe I should say that Glen is working better - is squeek doing OK?
shawna -sorry about the grill but could have been worse i guess - how is the web site doing? gather mum's legs r better
vic glad u had some good "me" time - so important - homesteading in canada - oh my - you will just have to travel north - lots of wild life etc still around - hope dad is doing OK
ros - good hearing from you - hope u got ur money now and gave urself a little treat
ladee - thank God for God - like that and u r so right - can't change anyone by talking to them
jam - (didn't forget u today :-D) - sorry u have to deal with the eviction - they are no fun - why, why, why do people mess with those who r trying to give them a break
burned - good to hear from u - hope u do get some personal time and ur sister - where IS her head??? - can u give the kids time out in their bedrooom - I know it takes energy
seeme - glad it wasn't worse and that the wedding happened - hub mad at u??? I don't think so either - new shingles may not be a bad thing
asg - hope u are getting ur new computer together -
ib, mismiley,worried and anyone i have forgotten - let us know how u r
doc upped my dose of diflucan trying to get rid of the intestinal candida and I have been napping more than usual - hopefully that is why and this will do it - I am so much better but just not over it - however I haven't needed any antibiotics since feb '10 -yeay!!! so things should get sorted out eventually - still weaning off the cetirizine - will lower the dose again soon. Thursday am will get a wisdom tooth pulled - all the others went years ago so it is not doing any good anyway - don't know why they didn't pull it too - never have probs with extractions
WE HAVE A NAME FOR THE HORSE!!!
Ebony - he finally decided. I like it. Now who gets the horse manure for a prize????
dropped the hint that I would like to go away again before he settles into another session of 10 days of 24/7 out at camp and he looked interested and asked where hey I am easy - any other 4 walls than here will do. he said he is thinking about getting a cot or two for the tent - sleeping on the ground doesn't bother me - but get me a tent toilet - now that would be good - saw a simple one for $16 - heck an ice cream pail would do! - now that's an idea hmmm...
take care
Love, hugs and prayers
jo
It has been kinda quite on here today, but with everything that is going on, it's understand able.
Yearright- So how is it having one of those dust storms? That looks pretty scary too!!! I can't imagine... I'm sorry your dad is not doing well. What is he taking antibiotics for. What all is going on with him. I've been out of the loop for the last week. I know my dad just finished up his antibiotics today i just gave him his last pill. He has been taking them for the cellulitis in his leg and his leg still looks awful to me. Well take care. My prayers are with you!!!! Love and hugs stormyyyyyyyy
Dad is not doing well. Finished the antib's with no change. His appetite perked up some on the steroid but is back down again. And the pain pill's don't help him. He is just so miserable. Poor thing, I hate to see him like this.
Well, have a blessed day.
Shawna hope the night wasn't too bad and that you have power. My Auntie live in Baltimore ...
I had a really nice day yesterday..Thank you Lord! Didn't sleep much last night but it is what it is.
Prayers for all of you!
Shawna
Dads doing pretty good. His legs still look bad but i guess they look some better. He only has like 4 more antibiotics for the cellulitis. But that stuff don't look no where near being healed up or cured from it. His breathing is still short. Today I shaved him and I felt that lymph node under his jaw; the one that has been swollen for about 2 weeks now and I swear i think that thing is getting bigger. Sis and i were talking the other day about the one in his groin area. And she said she tried feeling for it the other day and she said she thought it was a little bigger. I'm ready for tuesday to get here so dad can see the dr that ordered these scans. They are going to have to work daddy in that day so maybe he can tell us something. I pray he doesn't give us the run around. And we need to discuss when he can do the biospy on the groin lymph node. His surgery days are monday and friday. And i asked dad today does it hurt when you swallow and he said no. But when he swallows it's like a hard swallow. Like it hurts or it won't go down. I don't know what's going on with his throat. There's no telling!!!!! Well I guess I'm going to get off of here and go sniff some eucalyptus oil to see if it will break up this sh$# in my chest. I might take a bath in it if i thought it would help. I guess i will be talking to ya'll tomorrow. Sweet dreams!!!!!! ((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Shawna, glad you are prepared... it does help you to feel safer... just happy ya'll didn't have to leave... that is the crazy exhausting part, being stuck in traffic for hours and hours....
It has been so hot here today it was 95 in the BS, had to leave to get cool....
Hope everyone stays safe, have a good nite everyone...
Oh Burned, I didn't forget about you... happy to hear you have enough money to make it thru... the kids, well, if you can't lay a hand on them does sticking them in the closet count.... ???? And yes, EMS gets tired of running and not having someone cooperate... just like my dad always wanting to go to the hospital. One of the dr.s fianlly told him he may need to go into assisted living or a NH, becasue what was wrong was not serious enough to be in the hospital... one extreme to the other.....
Stay safe, take care of yourself.... hugs to everyone...
The wedding was going on as planned, even though there was no power at the country club they rented. None of the hot food made it out of my freezer,. If I could have cooked it all, it would be cold by the time it made it there. Mom and I did not go. Mom woke up with the Hershey's, her first hurricane, hubby got called in early to work.....just hope I get a piece of wedding cake. The wind was too bad for mom to be out in it. Made no sense. A bride's maid went out and bought 300 candles!! Now if they just don't set the hall on fire....................
Sis has made it home about 30 min ago. Not too bad for her. Supper was made, all the kids were there.........just because they were putting siding on the barn.....NOT to welcome her home.
And everyone should congratulate me on not getting sent to my spa.....hubby is barely still alive.........he was mad at me cause he didn't put stuff in the man-cave, like the patio table, chairs, and outdoor rug.........nnnnoooooooooo........he was too busy watching someone cut up the pig. The lid for the rubbermaid chest that the patio cushions go in came flying up to the windows in the sunroom and scared him up out of a nap...........and I caught hell???? I don't think so............damn good for him I take lexapro..........and hormones...........
Here's hoping Ted is safe and sound and maybe his mom slept through the whole thing. We are almost 2 hrs away, but I don't know what it would be as the crow flies. I've had enough for this season. The eye probably went right over his house.
John, tell me where you live....you sound closer to the coast than I am???
Shawna, if high winds are predicted for you, please take care. This isn't one to mess with..........
Everyone have a good rest of the weekend...................later.