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Not so well some days. My mother ,84, demanded her sitter take her shopping just to piddle and look around. Mom has mild dementia but thinks she is perfectly fine. My sister (not recovered from an 8 month illness) who is POA I think is tired of dealing with her so she gives approval for her to leave with sitter. I have handled all of mom's medical needs and prescriptions but with the choices made lately I am backing off and setting more boundaries. I am not willing to fight over these poor choices. Mom can deal with what she does. Because of her shopping time I will stay away X 14 days. Other big time stressors in my family add onto this.
An aunt,91, mid to late stage dementia and 2 very high risk family members should they contract Covid. I take mini breaks and block text msgs and calls. Have started getting more rest, cooking, praying and reading that makes me feel peaceful. Realizing I have no control over mom and sister but I can control how I choose to respond.
(4)
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My mother now enters into another phase of her Alz. disease. And very abruptly, too.

A week ago, she was asking to go out every time she sees me, and asks repeatedly again as soon as we get home because she has forgotten she already went out. Now she hardly asks.

Last week, she was loading up our shopping cart with big bags of chips, one after another. Now, she pushes the shopping cart like a zombie, doesn't even look at the junk food as she passes.

She now sleeps a lot more than before. She's probably only awake for meal times and a bit more after that, She sleeps while in the car, she sleeps while sitting on the bed watching tv. She almost falls asleep sitting on the toilet.

She doesn't fuss much anymore, She eats what's given. She has a lost look in her eyes. She had a few bathroom accidents in her pants, and on the floors. Groan.... I'm so afraid of this phase where she may lose control of her bladder and bowel movements.

All these changes happened in a few days, like a switch has been turned off, or a brain synapse just snapped.

I pray for God to take her. I hope my late father will come back and take her. Take her before she loses anymore dignity and quality of life.
(7)
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Well I have decided that stairs are evil.. first DD fell down the stairs in her model home ( doing better) and now my BF fell down the garage steps on her way to the car to go to lunch with me! She has a nasty break and is having surgery Fri ( same Dr that did my broken ankle) and has to have a lovely COVID test today for part of her prep. She has broken 2 bones in her ankle, and this is NOT a woman who can sit still and relax.. Luckily her son runs a home care company, so she is set for wheelchairs/knee roller etc, and he and his family live with her. This is going to be so hard for her, but luckily she has great help.. and ME !!
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Hello everyone,

I am new to this forum. I took care of my mother from 2009 to 2012, and started taking care of my father in 2017 when he broke his hip. My husband left in 2010, it wasn't what he wanted. Fast forward to today, and after a breakdown, exhaustion and my father verbally abusing me for the first time a couple of days ago, I'm actually feeling ok today, thank you for asking! It's quiet here, I have some time to catch up on work, and I can hear the baby Robbins in the nest outside the window. It's moments like these that I cherish. Life has been difficult, rewarding, sleepless, sweet... everything in the past 11 years. I have been considering changing my name, though, it gets called so many times in a day! But yes, today is a good day. I hope all of you can take a moment today and tell yourself that you are doing an amazing job, and give yourself some love and appreciation.

All the best to you all,

Tempestdelfuego.
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Thank you for asking, we certainly do not get asked this question enough. I am doing okay, just taking things one day at a time.
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Well I had 2 days off, yesterday Mom and I had Drs apts with the same gal,, went well for both of us, although she has gout for the 3rd time so once the prednisone is over she will be going on a long term drug for it. So today I have no plans.. hubs and go for groceries, I am making banana bread and home made tomato soup from our garden,, and the phone rings... DD fell down the steps in her model home,, and she thought she broke her right foot. So off go hubs and I to get her car ( him) and her office stuff as she is opening a new community tomorrow, and I took her to urgent care for Xrays. They think it is just a bad sprain, gave her a boot ( we gave her crutches) and if she is still in pain in a few days off we go to the orthopedist. She is worried about driving, but luckily with COVID all her "showings" are on line! I told her I could take off tomorrow if she needs me,, so far so good. we walked her dog, and got her settled. Luckily she can "walk" Bella from her patio.. extension leash and elderly 4 lb dog.. I was pleased to know the older couple she was showing the model to ( some get in if preapproved) offered to stay with her until we got there, but the project manager came and she told them she was OK, mom was coming! She was joking with them that they better buy a home in her new community.. its 55 and older! There are still some great people out there!
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MArtz.. I would be glad to make you some banana bread! Water optional.. LOL. My mom always starts to "mention" some ailment on Thursday.. a bit more on Fri.. I ask if I should call the Dr before the weekend.. "on no, I'm fine".. then comes the weekend,, no Dr.. its horrible!
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I am a caregiver for my mother who is 79 years old. I feel as though I'm just existing these days.
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I had a difficult day.( I wish I could be on the water with banana bread 😊). Maybe you all will find my day pretty funny...my father With dementia tells me the vision center won’t let him have his eyeglass prescription. They want him to pay for upcoming appointments first. I’m thinking ok they are extremely crooked or my father got that one wrong (I was betting on the latter) so I called them and they said he wasn’t here for a vision exam he was here for a medical exam. Therefore his insurance won’t pay for the prescription. All he has to do is come in for an eye exam and everything will be covered. So I let my dad know what’s going on as I’m his POA and he lives next door. Then I get yelled at...He's always suspicious of me so he says why did you call the vision place??? We’re you trying to check up on my vision, to see just how bad my eyes were??? I said no you were telling people your prescription was being held for ransom so I had to call and find out what was going on 😆. Sooo tired of getting yelled at when I do helpful deeds. How do people cope?
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After weeks of Covid OT at work, and no sleep ( or feeling tired all the time) I am on a 6 day stretch off!! Yesterday I slept like a log, and had so much energy. DD came over for a several hour visit.. left her puppers here for the night. Did not sleep so great,, but still felt great today. I have been getting so much done, and loving it. I think I just really needed to regroup. Today I baked 4 loaves of banana bread, and when I took Bella back to DDs I took her and her roommate one. We are going to the river house tomorrow ( And taking mom) and I am taking the other loaves for some of the older people who live near us. We all try to watch out for and help each other. The homes are about an acre apart so it is safe, and we can use the boats again as they have opened the waterways. Mom is excited to go fishing if she can do the steps( she is getting over Gout) and we are packing way too much food and planning a nice relaxing time. Wish us well!!
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I had to take my truck to the dealer for an oil change and tire rotation.. and I loved it!! Just me and my kindle for an hour and half,, everyone of us ( 4) sitting apart in the waiting room or lobby.. peaceful and no one "after me" for something! I then did go to Ollies ( not crowded) and the Aldis for my groceries ( That was more crowded but everyone was masked and polite). Who would have thought a visit for an oil change would be the highlight of my day!!
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I'm so stressed. Can't go to work or leave the house with Covid 19. My mom needs professional care but I'm caring for her in my home. She's been here 15 years but the last 3 have been progressively getting more difficult. I can't place her in a nursing home due to Covid. I feel so trapped and miserable. She isn't at all appreciative of my efforts which involve not only cooking and medication, but now toileting, oxygen and hygiene. I keep praying for patience, but I'm having a really difficult time lately.
(6)
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Caring for my mom in our home since COVID. We pulled her out of independent living 5 weeks ago for her safety from the virus. Slight dementia but otherwise healthy at 91. I am exhausted all of the time! Seems as though I can never say or do anything right. She does not want to be told what to do like take her pills or eat and when you don’t instruct her to do something it never happens. I ah e an 11 year old, a husband and a full time job and mom does not understand I cannot sit and watch tv with her all day. I have to work. I have to care for my family. She makes me feel guilty all of the time and my siblings who live in other states don’t care or ask how I am. Every night I have to wait for her to get in bed and it takes forever. I try to stay calm, understand she can’t help it but I am just so tired. I am in my 40’s and feel like I am 80. Just don’t know what to do. Want to bring her back to her independent living apartment but they will quarantine her for two weeks and also risk her possibly getting sick from staff or caregivers that come in and out but I am having a hard time with her here. I feel like I can’t breath and have zero time for me.
(7)
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amicaring4mom,

I'm sorry to hear this. Your mom needs to be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist in my opinion. She sounds very psychotic, that is out of touch with reality and a geriatric psychiatrist can help with that.

I see from your profile that she has dementia. Has she been seen by her doctor recently? Her doctor needs to know about these things.
(2)
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This is all very new to me. My mom has congestive heart failure and recently diagnosed with COPD - which she thinks I just made up. I'm at my wits end trying to care for her and know how to respond to her hateful and delusional comments. She thinks I'm making up things just to hurt her, I guess. She has conversations with people who aren't around. She doesn't know why she's moved things around.

I'm a basket case.
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Bookluvr, if you have pain when taking a breath it could be a rib out of place.

I thought I was having a heart attack, I see my chiropractor before I go to the doctor and thankfully it was a rib out, but I was having heart burn, couldn't take a breath, couldn't stretch and then I felt highly anxious on top of all that.

Just for your information. I hope you are feeling better.
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Hi Send, when I was having problems with my acid reflux in 2017, my doctor referred me for an endoscopy. At consultation at the endoscopy clinic, the doctor said that I should also get a colonoscopy since I've hit the 50yr mark. Since he's already going to do the endoscopy, we might as well do the colonoscopy. I agreed and got insurance approval. I was clean, no polyps, no pylori, no hernia, no damaged esophagus from the reflux... He did recommend more fiber. I hope I don't have hernia because I swore off getting another colonoscopy... I checked my records. Procedure cost $3,440.00. My co-payment was $517.00.
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Hiatal Hernia
Symptoms of a hiatal hernia
1. heartburn that gets worse when you lean over or lie down.
2. chest pain or epigastric pain.
3. trouble swallowing.
4. belching.
(3)
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Martz, as a former caregiver, that’s a resounding yes! When it was only my bedridden mom, my dad was her main caregiver. I was the secondary (night shifts and weekends) with a full time job... When dad got sick, he expected me to cater to him and mom. He was too sick to eat meals on the table or to help me change mom’s pampers... When I got the flu and severe endometriosis pain where I can barely move, I was still expected to do my share. I remember coming on here and saying I almost fainted from the pain every time I tried to bend.

So, I have an idea of what you’re going through with the health issue and being a caregiver. I’m just glad I didn’t have to deal with seizures like you. That’s really difficult. You can get hurt. Kudos to you.
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Gershun, it’s stress finally hitting us. I was torn between muscle pain or GERD. It could be both because I’m finally able to burp again. During last night’s stretching exercises, I was burping all over the place. I thought I was making head ways.
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Does anyone else feel too sick to be a caregiver? I’ve had a difficult day and stress just brings on my seizures. But I know I’m not alone. Many are going through a lot right now.
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Well my ankle is better and my facial rash is gone. So I guess I'll probably never know what caused it. I don't sleep walk as far as I know, on a beach or anywhere else for that matter. I've been waking up most mornings lately feeling anxiety though. Once I'm up it tends to go away but this is a new thing that just started. I hope its transitory and passes cause it's not a great way to start every day.

Book, I hope you are feeling better. I have occasionally had chest pain that would worsen when I took a breath but I think it was a muscle thing.
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Dimeolas, perhaps when this virus situation eases up, you can check into programs for your father? I strongly believe that if my dad didn’t have govt sponsored caregivers visit him weekly, he would have fought against everything I said, suggested or asked.
One, I’m a female and know nothing.
Two, he’s the parent and knows more than me (his child).
Three, he had Pride.

I have found that he listened more to outsiders (without arguments) and my male younger cousins even a teenager!) I’m wondering if your father would be more receptive to someone who is not you (no offense intended - even though I was very offended in my case.) ... Can you see if your father can have a social worker? They were Very Helpful referring dad to various programs, etc... You take care.
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My dad (Parkinsons and dementia) is 93 w/ limited mobility. he suffers weakness and has a cycle of 2-3 bad days then 5-7 good days. he also refuses help as a general rule. His biggest challenge is getting up from his chair. Today was day 2 of a bad cycle and he was just too weak to keep his balance. He sits at the back of the chair and pushes himself up but instead of being over his knees/feet and leaning forward his butt is sticking way out and his cernter is pulling him back into his chair.

He couldnt get up to come to dinner and became very depressed. i finally just set his dinner by his chair and he ate. When it came bedtime he couldnt get up. I got his wheelchair and with some struggles got him in bed. I'm not really strong enough to lift him. We talked about the good and safe way to stand up. he refuses.

I told him about lift chairs and I doubt he will go for one. Unfortunately I cant afford to just buy him one. My dad doesnt talk much about his struggles and all questions are either met with silence or a 'Im fine'. To which I ask if he'd tell me if he wasnt and he says no.

So I had him just sitting and being depressed all day. hes at a point where he has a very hard time making decisions, so if I give him a choice I make it very simple, like between two things. He has extreme issues using the TV remote and sometimes he will grab his phone or an old remote and try and use it. He gets mad if I just do it for him but then he gets depressed when he cant do it.

Anyway, the past two days have been rough and i pray tomorrow is the start of a good cycle. I always fear waking up. I dont know if hes still alive and what shape hes in. Ive been out of work taking care of him and studying to switch careers. Not working out right now, not alot of hope in this. Great respect for you folks who do this for a living. Take care
(4)
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Book,
As your little gerd buddy, I suggest you get some OTC Pepcid Complete. That is what I take now. It has 10 mg. Famotidine,
800 mg. Calcium carbonate, and 185 mg. of Magnesium hydroxide.

Always follow your doctor's advice though.

Any kind of tea leaves me with a strange feeling. I would never try flavored teas with fruit flavors. Is your Mango tree blooming again?
Maybe you are allergic.
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Pam, twice I got out of the car without wearing the mask - at work and the Post Office. I remembered it only after I shut the door. I now keep a spare mask in my purses.

Gershun, yeah I heard about the new symptoms. I don’t recall having a twisted ankle feeling as one. Maybe it’s a new one. 🤔
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Thanks for your advice and concern. I didn’t want to go to the clinic until I did a process of elimination.

My chest pain was a moving one. Most of yesterday, it was left and central. Painful to breathe deeply or to bend in any position. After I exercised last night, it was now right chest pain. I noticed when I tried to burp, it got stuck halfway up my esophagus(?). Severe pain hit when it got stuck... I narrowed it down to GERD or lactose intolerance.... I recently switched to daily coffee of cappuccino (has dairy) ... And on Friday, I ordered a strawberry black tea with sugar but no milk or yogurt.... Only one time I had severe GERD which I had very painful chest pains for days from only drinking half a small bottle of V8 berry fruit drink. At that time, my EKG came out normal. Doctor had my food/drink intake. She warned me that I was very sensitive to fruit juices. I remembered this when I ordered my strawberry tea but figured the fruit was diluted with the black tea. I guessed wrong... I haven’t had a GERD attack in decades, so I don’t have Rx or any acid reflux meds. I’ve been very careful of my diet... I’ve been eating toast and Skyflakes crackers all day today. It has helped reduce the chest pain. I was worried for a while because of the medical cost to go to the clinic and the various tests they would do.

Sadly, I have to give up that delicious strawberry black tea... Hmmm... I wonder if the Kiwi black tea would cause GERD?
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Gershun,
You weren't at the beach were you? Walking in your sleep?

Well, seriously, with the heat, a new outbreak of fleas could have happened. = rash from baby fleas?
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Book, how are you doing? Look after yourself. Call your doc.
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I know Golden. Weird huh? I've heard covid presents with very unusual symptoms but a twisted ankle feeling? That's a new one. I'm going to rest it and hope for the best. As for the facial rash? Not sure.
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