This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Chicago O'Hare is a huge airport I flew into it a couple months ago.
When my brother offered his miles for my ticket, I couldn't help but think that God wanted this to be. That I should go off-island because I NEED to get away from oldest sis (unhelpful around the house), fave sis (and her OCD) and from dad. In the past, when I started getting really bad suicidal thoughts, the elder and his wife would drop by unannounced. It always freaks me out - of their timing. They usually do a yearly visit. I never ever doubted that it was God who sent them to visit me when I was at my lowest. So, although this trip to bro is stressing me out - the flights - I don't really have any other emotions than fear of flying.
Tonight, when I won that ticket. As I sat with the other people at the table, I could not help but think it was God again, who was able to finally allow me to win. It's as if He's giving me a goal, a prize, to aim for. If I want to travel on that Delta ticket, then I will not kill myself until I fly next year. He's giving me something to hold on to, to hang on to, for next year. And not just trying to live one day at a time, struggling with those deadly thoughts.
I'm writing this because whenever I shower, I allow my mind to roam. I realized that some of you don't have the opportunity to win a ticket to go anywhere. And I felt bad. Then my thoughts turned to God and His .. oops. I just nodded off while typing this. Too tired to think. Brain's foggy.
By the way, last year, I won an access to United Airlines' Airport business lounge. It expires the end of this year. I'm thinking of using it on my flight back home after my visit with bro. I have several hours layover in Chicago. I had plan to google info on the airport to see if they have anything interesting (like a paintings, murals, statues, etc... like your Denver Airport.. I would love to check out that Denver's mural painting..quite religious, if you ask me...)
Tonight! Guess what?!?! They were pulling out all these raffle gifts and they were down to the last 2 prizes. The 2nd to the last prize - was a free economy class ticket from here to the US mainland or Canada. They pulled out my boss' wife's name. Then the last prize - also a free economy class ticket to the Mainland/Canada. They said the number... 32254. I stared at my ticket. Read it carefully again, as the person repeated the number. OMG! It's me!!!! After I realized that it was really MY raffle number, I raised my hand high. And my bosses screamed out in jubilation. Others were saying that it was 'fixed' since our office of 3 people - won the only 2 free Delta Airline's tickets. =)
I have an airline ticket for next year's travel!!! A Free ticket! I'm soooo happy. I have a getaway ticket from caregiving next year! =)
And my very first win in my whole life. I kept my lucky raffle. Except, I can't find it! When sis goes out to smoke, I will follow her and check inside my car. The spirits like her. Maybe they won't bother me if I'm with her outside. =) !!!! =) Now, I'm going tell my siblings....
Yes Book get thee to a Podiatrist. you may not need special shoes but they will tell you which brands to choose. You probably need something wider but shorter.
Just because one person said no doesn't mean that everyone is that way. Ask another time in a different situation and you may get another answer. You have NOTHING to lose by asking.
Hmmm.. come to think of it, the back of my feet does goes up/down on All my shoes. I've been on a one-size fits all feet.... Something to think about - see a podiatrist. Thank you!
I was at the store. And the bottled water was stacked high...close to my shoulder height. There's no way I would be able to lift it off and put it in my cart. I saw this big tall man passing by. I approached him and asked if he can put one case in my cart. He looked at me and said to go ask the store employee. And walked away. Lesson learned. Don't ask other customers for help. Look for an employee or Try to do it myself (and hope I don't hurt my back.)
Today, he really misses her. He keeps asking for her. Unhappy that she's 'too busy' to visit him.
He got angry with the home nurse yesterday. He's tired of me and her always telling him to drink water. Since I came home yesterday at 3pm, till mid-noon, he did Not drink water at all. All he wants is his nutrient drink. He no longer craves his grape juice drink.
And he's always saying the F-bomb....
Someone cut our cable on top of our roof some time on Friday day time! He/she had to use a ladder to cut and take the missing cable on top of our roof.
Remember how I have gone on and on about sis Not Locking The Door! No matter how many crimes are happening In The Home by Strangers, she still does not lock the door?
The lady who opened the door, the men burst in, tied her up and proceeded to beat her to the pulp with a lead pipe? The 2 elderly couple (mother and daughter) in which there was a knock on the door, daughter asked who is it, the guy answered, and she opened it. He pushed his way in, beat up her and her bedridden mother, to burglarize the place - 8:30pm. The couple,in daytime, answered a knock in their door. Got tied up, beatened, and their home was robbed. On and on.. Every time a new crime was committed in the home by strangers, I brought it up to dad and sis. AND SHE STILL UNLOCKS THE D*RN LIVINGROOM ENTRANCE DOOR WHEN I LEAVE IN THE MORNING (Despite the gov't caregiver coming in the afternoon.)!!!!
Obviously, sis knows better than me.
Today, when the cable man told me this, I knocked on sis door and asked her about Friday. Did she see anyone? When did the cable go out? She didn't see anyone and she doesn't know when the cable when out.
I told her that this was done on Friday DAYTIME. I keep telling you over and over - To Lock the Doors! ...
and just like all the previous times I've said this to her - she would say that she will lock the doors. Why do I not believe her??????