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Congrats on your raffle win Book!
Chicago O'Hare is a huge airport I flew into it a couple months ago.
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And ,book, what do you suppose may be the meaning behind a one way ticket?
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I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. Fantasizing my death, etc... Sometimes, in bitterness, my thoughts go to the Bible's words that “God will never give you more than you can handle." And I wonder how many people thought this and then succeeded in killing themselves. Even with my upcoming trip, I feel no emotions. No joy, etc.. just fear of flying seems to be the center focus. And fear of flying on the way back home.

When my brother offered his miles for my ticket, I couldn't help but think that God wanted this to be. That I should go off-island because I NEED to get away from oldest sis (unhelpful around the house), fave sis (and her OCD) and from dad. In the past, when I started getting really bad suicidal thoughts, the elder and his wife would drop by unannounced. It always freaks me out - of their timing. They usually do a yearly visit. I never ever doubted that it was God who sent them to visit me when I was at my lowest. So, although this trip to bro is stressing me out - the flights - I don't really have any other emotions than fear of flying.

Tonight, when I won that ticket. As I sat with the other people at the table, I could not help but think it was God again, who was able to finally allow me to win. It's as if He's giving me a goal, a prize, to aim for. If I want to travel on that Delta ticket, then I will not kill myself until I fly next year. He's giving me something to hold on to, to hang on to, for next year. And not just trying to live one day at a time, struggling with those deadly thoughts.

I'm writing this because whenever I shower, I allow my mind to roam. I realized that some of you don't have the opportunity to win a ticket to go anywhere. And I felt bad. Then my thoughts turned to God and His .. oops. I just nodded off while typing this. Too tired to think. Brain's foggy.
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Unfortunately, I will be on the same old cramped airplane from Chicago to Tokyo. With only 1 hour connection from Tokyo to home. On the way to Norfolk, I will be traveling with baby bro's girlfriend and her 2 daughters. Trust me, Veronica, if I was traveling by myself, when I was booking the reservation, I would have Not chosen this route. I'm not much into praying. But, the closer I get to flying, I will be praying a lot to God to please make the old plane reach it's destination. And if it cannot, to please be close to an island that has an airport we can fly to.... I'm so tired. I'm going to shower, and ... late night snacking of sugar roll breads... There goes my tummy...Night all.
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Lucky Book just enjoy the business lounge in Chicago you will probably find free snacks and drinks and a nice receptionist to wake you up in time for the next flight. second thought maybe you should use it on the way out because you will be so tired after the trip from Japan on the cramped aircraft.
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Correction - not won the business lounge access. Our agency was one of the top 5 sellers of their tickets. So, they gave each travel agent (not one per travel agent company -which usually their bosses end up claiming) - of the their top 5 sellers - free access to their business lounge.
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Thanks, Glad. Even if it expires by the end of this year, I can still book the dates for next year. I can just schedule it for next year's summer vacation. I just need to figure out which siblings I want to visit.

By the way, last year, I won an access to United Airlines' Airport business lounge. It expires the end of this year. I'm thinking of using it on my flight back home after my visit with bro. I have several hours layover in Chicago. I had plan to google info on the airport to see if they have anything interesting (like a paintings, murals, statues, etc... like your Denver Airport.. I would love to check out that Denver's mural painting..quite religious, if you ask me...)
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Book, so exciting for you! Does the ticket have to be uses in a certain amount of time? Hooray for you!
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Guess what?! In all these business functions, we always have these little gifts and raffles. In all my 21 years of this business, I only won one time - a hotel clock. We had to put our name card in the jar and they will pull it up to get gifts. I was still new in the business and did not know that I was suppose to carry my business cards with me. So, another travel agent gave me one of her cards, X out her name, and I put my name on the back. She told me that she's always lucky when it comes to raffles. Sure enough, they pulled out both her business cards - even the one that she gave to me to use! That was my only winning - which is not really mine since she's the lucky one.

Tonight! Guess what?!?! They were pulling out all these raffle gifts and they were down to the last 2 prizes. The 2nd to the last prize - was a free economy class ticket from here to the US mainland or Canada. They pulled out my boss' wife's name. Then the last prize - also a free economy class ticket to the Mainland/Canada. They said the number... 32254. I stared at my ticket. Read it carefully again, as the person repeated the number. OMG! It's me!!!! After I realized that it was really MY raffle number, I raised my hand high. And my bosses screamed out in jubilation. Others were saying that it was 'fixed' since our office of 3 people - won the only 2 free Delta Airline's tickets. =)

I have an airline ticket for next year's travel!!! A Free ticket! I'm soooo happy. I have a getaway ticket from caregiving next year! =)

And my very first win in my whole life. I kept my lucky raffle. Except, I can't find it! When sis goes out to smoke, I will follow her and check inside my car. The spirits like her. Maybe they won't bother me if I'm with her outside. =) !!!! =) Now, I'm going tell my siblings....
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Was in walmart yesterday and needed soda from the top shelf but the bottles were packed so tight i could not lift the first one out. As I started to climb on the bottm shelf an elderly man rushed up and said. "Let me get that for you you don't want to be climbing up on shelves" he was even shorter than me but obviously stronger and I was so happy to let him.
Yes Book get thee to a Podiatrist. you may not need special shoes but they will tell you which brands to choose. You probably need something wider but shorter.
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With regard to your feet, yes GO see a podiatrist! I got orthotics (inserts that go in my shoes) that have a support for the long bone of my big toe, which is apparently misformed in some way.

Just because one person said no doesn't mean that everyone is that way. Ask another time in a different situation and you may get another answer. You have NOTHING to lose by asking.
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Babylou, I tried asking the salesperson at Footlocker for help in finding a shoes for me. After trying on my 3rd shoe, my flat feet was hurting so badly from trying on shoes with arches. I was beginning to limp. And when I put my foot in, I was flinching from the pain. In desperation, I approached a salesperson about shoes with no arches. The person had this puzzled look, pointed a general area, and then walked away. I said forget it. I will go to Amazon and find shoes that had Poor Reviews due to No Arch in the shoes. It took me days of searching, but I finally found the shoes - Reeboks. Once in a while, I will try Footlocker and give up. I now only order Reeboks online. So far, every shoe (and colors, shapes) that i ordered had no arch support. Bingo!! I do have a gel insole with a Slight arch support. I find my bottom feet hurting, and notice I was walking on the sides of my feet and not completely flat on the ground. I took out the insoles.

Hmmm.. come to think of it, the back of my feet does goes up/down on All my shoes. I've been on a one-size fits all feet.... Something to think about - see a podiatrist. Thank you!

I was at the store. And the bottled water was stacked high...close to my shoulder height. There's no way I would be able to lift it off and put it in my cart. I saw this big tall man passing by. I approached him and asked if he can put one case in my cart. He looked at me and said to go ask the store employee. And walked away. Lesson learned. Don't ask other customers for help. Look for an employee or Try to do it myself (and hope I don't hurt my back.)
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Ohgenny, my condolences on your father. I'm sure he was glad that you all got them settled in a very timely manner. {{Hugs}}
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Ohgenny...so sorry about your dad. I also believe he knew your mom is now settled okay and will be well loved and cared for. I pray you find peace with all your struggles during this time and knowing his pain and worries are over. Its so terribly hard to see our parents suffer and our love and care is makes all the difference. Sending you blessings.
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Book You can get some really nice shoes that fasten with velcro far faster than laces and yet fit just as tightly
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ohgenny, I am sorry to read about your father. It sounds like they had the next phase of their lives set up, only to have it change so fast. Maybe he stayed just long enough to make sure in his mind that the move went well before he moved on to his new home. I have the feeling he was a wonderful man. Hugs and flowers to you and your family.
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its been a crazy couple of weeks. I took off work and stayed at my parents to help them with the big move to my sister's house. We accomplished a lot and my folks were in rare form. They were kind and funny relating to each other lovingly, and enjoying the moments they had together and with me as we poured through paper after paper determining what was important and what needed shredding. My sister later told me that he was happy to have gotten through that process with me as he didn't want to leave it to us to figure out later. We moved my parents on the 18th, my folks celebrated their 57th anniversary on the 19th and my dad passed away on the 23rd, less than one month after being given a prognosis of 2-4 months. I think I am still in shock over all of this, just a few months ago my dad was primary caretaker for my mother who remains on hospice. His decline was so quick and now we are trying to arrange his funeral with my mother's limitations always in mind.
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Book, it sounds as though you might benefit from going to a shoe store (or even a podiatrist) where they can measure your feet. You may need a smaller size (length) and a wider width (for your toes).
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Slip on shoes - tend to stay behind when I'm walking. Very embarrassing. I walk, my feet goes up, the back of the shoes stay down, then it suddenly snaps up to meet my foot that is now going down. Or the constant rubbing from behind my foot becomes painful and then I get a lump behind that area. And because the shoes/pumps doesn't follow my feet, I tend to curl my toes to keep the shoes on. If I forget to curl my toes, my body moves forward and one shoe/pump remains behind. If I put an insole and a back cushion (expressly for this situation), my feet is so squashed inside, I start limping. I've totally given up on slip ons.
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I'm 5'4" and I always ask a tall guy to stow my bag. Don't give it a second thought , Book!
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I might be tempted book to look the stewardis in the eye (well in your case the middle button of her jacket) amd say in your sweetest voice "What's the matter honey afraid you migh chip your nail polish?' As far as shoes are concerned why not stop worrying about laces and wear a pair of slip ons. Benefit of being old. One does not have to remove shoes to go through security!
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Geez Book, I'm 5' 2" myself. I can't believe no one stepped in to help you. Sometimes people just stink. Maybe you can just ask for help. That's what I do in the grocery store when people watch me struggling to reach something on the top shelf. I think some people are afraid of embarrassing me or themselves by offering to help. It doesn't cost any extra to at least ask. :) People can be remarkably helpful if they know they're needed.
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Did I tell you all that I googled the aircraft from Tokyo to Chicago (13 hr flight)? It's an old plane. Very small seats. Almost no foot space under the seat in front of you. I texted bro's girlfriend to reconfirm what I saw in Google. She said that there's no space on the floor in front of you. Carry-on bags must go on the overhead bin. Oh my... I'm under 5 feet tall. I cannot reach the overhead bin. One time, the stewardess just stood there and watched me tiptoe to open each and every bin, jump to push it back up, because all the bins were full. When I finally found one that was empty,I had to step on the seat to be able to put my bag inside. I was holding up the line....I was so embarrassed that the stewardess did not step in to help or that the guy behind me didn't help me. I hate traveling on the plane.
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Still planning for my trip, I went to several shoe stores (Footlocker, etc..) looking for shoelaces that do not untie by itself. About 99% of my shoes' laces untie itself. I tend to bend down from the waist to re-tie it. Puts pressure on my stomache and when I stand back up - vertigo. So, I was hunting for very good shoe laces. Couldn't find any. I remembered my sister having an elastic shoelace. I should have checked the Sports store but I didn't think of it. I bought several from Amazon. I put one set on my shoes that I will be using while traveling. The elastic shoelaces are like rope laces, not flat like regular ones. So, when I put it on my shoes, it's not as comfortable as the flat laces. But, I tested it. I pulled out the tab, took off my shoes, pretended I was going thru TSA, then quickly bending down to slip my feet in. Very quick! I don't remain bending over, tightening the laces, then tying it, It'll do. But, I'm bringing the original flat shoe laces and putting it in the carry-on bag. Just in case I cannot handle the rope laces, I can switch it back.
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Dad misses the Odd caregiver. I just received an email from her work, the national caregiver respite organization. They have discontinued respite care for us caregivers due to lack of funding by our local gov't. I told dad that we only see Odd CG about once or twice a month when she needs money. She's due to 'visit' in early May. She only comes to 'visit' when I'm at work. Sis does a 'disappearing act' so that she is not question CG from taking dad's money. Odd CG logged in our money sheet that she took $70.00 because 'pappy' told her to.

Today, he really misses her. He keeps asking for her. Unhappy that she's 'too busy' to visit him.

He got angry with the home nurse yesterday. He's tired of me and her always telling him to drink water. Since I came home yesterday at 3pm, till mid-noon, he did Not drink water at all. All he wants is his nutrient drink. He no longer craves his grape juice drink.

And he's always saying the F-bomb....
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Dear Antilane, ...... I send my condolences as well to you. I pray you will have the strength to go through the changes ahead, from folks all around you... to none , as all quiets down and all continue with their own lives. Loneliness may enter at times... That's when it helped me to remember, that my parents wanted happiness for me... and to honor them I found ways to be of use to others and do things that I had put on hold, which included travel to see distant relatives... To find one’s own peace would make any parent happy. So I do wish you well !!!
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To avoid vulnerability get a deadlock fitted that way when you close the door it is locked. Get a spy hole fitted so they can see who is at the door. It wont stop them openeing the door but it might just help. We have an A4 size sticker on our door that says DONT OPEN THE DOOR UNLESS YOU KNOW WHO IT IS. It works when Mum remembers to read it.
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Antilane, My condolences to you. Losing your dad is really hard. ((hugs)) to you dear.
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It is frustrating that some people feel invulnerable. Crime won't happen to them. My parents used to leave their doors unlocked. My mother thought I was silly when I started locking them, saying no one ever had broken in. I told her, "It only takes once."
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I can't believe it! On Friday morning, our TV cable was working. I came home, and it was out (snowy reception.) I finally called the cable company on Saturday afternoon figuring that it's not a temporary outage. They verified that I was not behind our bill and sent a repair order. The repairman came and still here.

Someone cut our cable on top of our roof some time on Friday day time! He/she had to use a ladder to cut and take the missing cable on top of our roof.

Remember how I have gone on and on about sis Not Locking The Door! No matter how many crimes are happening In The Home by Strangers, she still does not lock the door?

The lady who opened the door, the men burst in, tied her up and proceeded to beat her to the pulp with a lead pipe? The 2 elderly couple (mother and daughter) in which there was a knock on the door, daughter asked who is it, the guy answered, and she opened it. He pushed his way in, beat up her and her bedridden mother, to burglarize the place - 8:30pm. The couple,in daytime, answered a knock in their door. Got tied up, beatened, and their home was robbed. On and on.. Every time a new crime was committed in the home by strangers, I brought it up to dad and sis. AND SHE STILL UNLOCKS THE D*RN LIVINGROOM ENTRANCE DOOR WHEN I LEAVE IN THE MORNING (Despite the gov't caregiver coming in the afternoon.)!!!!

Obviously, sis knows better than me.

Today, when the cable man told me this, I knocked on sis door and asked her about Friday. Did she see anyone? When did the cable go out? She didn't see anyone and she doesn't know when the cable when out.

I told her that this was done on Friday DAYTIME. I keep telling you over and over - To Lock the Doors! ...

and just like all the previous times I've said this to her - she would say that she will lock the doors. Why do I not believe her??????
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