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I go to the ophthalmologist next Tuesday. I was supposed to have cataract surgery and start Eyelea treatments for macular degeneration. Then a pile of other stuff happened. My eyes are getting bad and I have to get this done. And I need to get Eyelea treatments started. I don’t want to end up blind. Aging is not a pleasant experience - can’t imagine how I’ll feel at 80 if I make it that long. I saw the nutritionist today. Not many changes. Just a few tweaks.
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Took mom back to the eye surgeon today,, it looks good, so her next apt is Fri.. that means I get a full day OFF!! I am getting my hair done.. yeah me! One of my BFFs came over with a pizza for lunch for all of us, and we visited for a while, She is going through a tough time with a hubs with Lewy Body. Then hubs and I went to Wal Mart.. funny how the little things seem so wonderful when we are stressed to the max. So today I had a good day! Hope you all did too.
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I would think visitors can stay home while host isn't home, but I don't know for sure.
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Glad, the first and last time I went to the Springs, baby sister told me that maybe my next visit, to visit my other family in the states. I felt bad because older sis and I get along great. Same sister that I used my mileage reward to buy her ticket to meet me in Hawaii for my cancer scare. Same sister that I will be joining in a cruise next year. I have thought of going to the Springs but I keep recalling baby sis telling me to check out my other sibs. Maybe my visit was a hardship for older sis.

Fave niece wants to take me to the pumpkin patch when I visit them in October. I told her that I don't think so because the smell of mango blossoms, freshly mowed lawn, etc.. gives me a headache and then my airway closes. I start choking and can't breathe air in. Both nieces and my sister said that I should go to the doctor and get an Rx for it - so that I can go to the pumpkin patch. I don't want an allergy attack that might hospitalize me in Texas - where I have no insurance coverage. Plus, it would make my 24-hour flying back home a really terrible experience..

Can a visitor in a military housing stay home while the military family goes to the pumpkin patch event? I don't want to suggest this and get her in trouble. But I don't want to go the pumpkin patch and have hay fever attack. By the way, even smelling the mowed lawn through the air conditioner vent in the car - I still start choking. I have to not breath in as long as I can until I pass the freshly mowed lawn. That's how bad it is with just a mowed lawn. Two doctors said that I'm not asthmatic.
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A very pleasant 71 now, down to 59 overnight. Great sleeping weather. Book, maybe you should go to the Springs instead of Texas.;)
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Oh Book,
you must be exhausted
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MsMadge, for the past 2 nights, I've been waking up soaking wet from sweat. Bedding, clothes and pillow were wet. I have 3 fans (2 are minis) aimed at me. I only have 1 bedroom window that doesn't have the typhoon shutters on. It's routine to get off the bed, change everything and go back to sleep with dry clothing and sheets.

I'm glad that your area is cooling off a bit. I'm jealous! =)
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Dare I say that it's a bit cooler and I might not have to sleep with fans blowing on me all night
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I'm trying to clear my iPad's photos to make space for when I visit niece in October. I have photos since I visited my brother in 2015, my dad's viewing, funeral, to current. I have like 928 photos (been whittling it down throughout the years.) I transferred it to the laptop. I spent like 4 hrs today transferring one-by-one to the CD because I didn't want to send All the photos. Only the ones that I like. At 4pm, my laptop froze. I waited for it to unfreeze for 30min. Finally, I did what my work IT has told me to never do. I did a hard shut down. Turned it on. Oops.. that doesn't look good. So I did a hard shut down...Turned it on... oohhh... Anyway, needless to say, I kept rebooting my laptop. I lost all those photos that I did Not transfer to the CD. So, I spent another 8 hrs transferring photos. I stopped at the end of 2017.

Once I transferred everything to the CDs, I will then transfer from the CDs to the flash drives so that I have 2 hard copies from different media. Yes, I also have it stored on the iPad iCloud, too. And I've emailed the photos from my iPad to myself. Maybe overkill?
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Pam, I learned the hard way with dad, to not give him open options. Because most likely, like 99% of the time, he chooses what I don't want. I learned to be firm and gave him 2-3 options... that I can live with. What's the use giving an option if we're going to say, "Nope, not that one." Sometimes, we just need to be Firm (note, I didn't see bossy.) Right? We're being firm. =)
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Saw the eye surgeon today,, after about 5 eye drops and exams and such she still has the stent, did not damage anything in the fall except her pride ( and she has two whopping shiners) and has a big old infection. So back to the antibiotic eye drops, back to dr on Fri ( Go hubs.. ) She does have a bit of a "spongy" spot over the stent,, he is hopeful that the antibiotics will help with that or she may need a bit more surgery to make a flap. But she really had herself convinced she might lose her eye?? She was almost crying when he said it looked pretty good except for the infection. On the way home we stopped and got her glasses bent back into shape.. so she is feeling better. And last night when I got home Hubs said she ate well all day ( for her) and she made it a point to tell me she only had one glass of wine. We had a talk,, see how long the good behavior lasts.. I have become a bit of a bossy gal today
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Today, I asked for vacation leave from Oct 12-27th - 11 working days off. It takes me 24 hours to fly to El Paso. It will take my 2 full days (leave Saturday morning 7:00am) and arrive home on Sunday night at 11:00pm. I go to work on Monday. I just purchased my airline ticket using the gift certificate from my boss. He even paid for the taxes. He also offered to pay for my Economy Plus seats on the long flight between Japan and the US mainland. That's about $400.00 roundtrip just for seats in the front row with leg room.

As for the cruise for next year May. When my niece asked for the payment, I realized that I really don't want to go. I have never cared for cruises. But. I have never been to one. I mustn't let my fear of water and my vertigo prevent me from going. I will use my mileage reward to purchase my ticket to Hawaii.
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Pam, kind of scary, isn't it? Her falling down. My dad was doing that frequently. I just shrugged it as 'old age' since he was in his mid-80s. Just keep an eye on your aunty for other signs. I had noticed that my dad was having problems gripping when we were changing mom's pamper. He would try to grab the lifter sheet. His fingers were moving but it wasn't grabbing the sheet. Only after he had a stroke, did the nurse tell me that was also another sign of a stroke. I assumed it was old age. But it wasn't.

Yep, it will look like you gave her that shiner.
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Today when I came home from work, mom's sister called.Hubs put her on speaker phone, and mom was not really answering some of the questions right. I am guessing she had her "2" glasses of wine, and not a lot of food , she gets loopy sometimes. Hubs said she had a spoonful of bean salad, and was eating about 1/4 cup of creamed corn when I got home ( she is obsessed with being "fat") So of course the wine goes to her head.. so we got her upstairs to get ready for bed.. apparently she fell on her face in the bathroom, I heard something so we went up and she was in bed.. a cut on the bridge of her nose and "road rash" on her forehead. She already has a black eye from her recent eye surgery ( having hubs call Dr tomorrow to get her in on Wed) because it is weeping again and really hurting her. Yep, she is going to have a shiner . I talk to her about the wine and no food, and her multiple meds and no food.. so she'll be good for a few days... I get that she is 88 and miserable.. but this is wearing on me. She is otherwise OK tonight,, nothing broken ( this time), so hopefully she'll be OK but bruised tomorrow. The last time she fell was in the shower, trying to pick up the shower mat while standing on it. That's 2 this past 4 months,, I can only imagine what's next. Meanwhile its going to look like I beat her up.. Her Dr said its OK to have 2 glasses of wine.. guess we're going to have to work on this harder. She is complete DNR, etc... so I can't make her go to ER when this stuff happens, and she is still "with it" as far as DR is concerned.. and so it goes.. and it sucks
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I just received text msg from SIL that my aunty, mom's sister, has cancer. This aunty sang the funeral death song for my mom and dad. I asked her if she blamed me that my mom died within a year after my taking over her care (dad had a stroke and became bedridden, too.) She said no and gave me a great big hug.

She's leaving island on Wednesday to Washington state where her oldest daughter lives - for treatment. I couldn't find a blank card to give to her. (Need to put on my shopping list to buy several blank cards.) She gave me money for my mom and dad's funeral. It's my turn to reciprocate at her time of need.

The half-empty-glass me doesn't think she's going to make it. On July 21st, she was in constant pain in the stomach area. It took the physician 10 days to diagnose her with cancer. She's elderly.... And my 10 year old niece died of cancer... my 1st cousin just passed away from cancer a few months ago... I sooo hope my pessimism is wrong! I'm going to add her to my prayer tonight. and every night - that I remember to pray... Praying is such a struggle for me...
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Hi Val. It's nice when those in the professional fields remember to acknowledge us and ask how we're feeling. It would be even so much nicer if they didn't just accept the social answer, "I'm fine.". I remember how it always touches me when the visiting nurse would turn to me, look me in the eye, and ask, "How are you doing?" When I say the usual fine, they would give me that 'look' which makes me know that they know it's not really 'fine.' .. If that makes sense. Anyway, they can't really dig out the true answer since they were really there for my parents...
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While taking my husband to his psychologist last week, the doctor asked me HOW was I doing?
She recognized that while my DH may be off and depressed and have many issues, that unless I was feeling somewhat ok,...it was going to be a mess.

This is the first time any professional has asked that. Otherwise I just get looks.

This morning I awakened at 3AM and wondered if this was how it was going to be the rest of my DH's life.
His spiral down and my trying to stop the crash and burn scenario.

I make my check list for the day.
And then I figure out how to take some time for me.
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Oh! a small story. In my observations of mom and dad's nightly Mass of Intentions after they passed away, and I attended the mass... I found it very, very, very...Very! strange how the priest(s) would do the mass. At the ending, they walk down the aisle and exit the church. When I come out with the worshippers, the priest(s) are gone!.. I'm just not used to that. So many times, I wanted to thank the priest for an enjoyable sermon. But he's not there when I came out.

This past Saturday, after the priest walked out of the church, I was surprised to see him standing there facing the door. Fave sis' hubby was in front of me, then sis. BIL immediately went to the priest, bowed and did something to the priest's extended hand (opened but palm facing down.) Fave sis pretended she didn't see the priest (ha! can't miss him standing squarely in the middle of the doors) and walked off to the side.

The priest then looked at me. Oh! Oh! I'm not Catholic. I cannot and will not call him "Father." I will not bend down and do whatever it is my BIL did with the priest's extended hand. So, I smiled at the priest, walked confidently up to him, reached for his extended hand and gently shook his hand up and down - at the same time, while looking at his eyes, I said, "I enjoyed your sermon." He quickly recovered and thanked me.

Then to the next person (lay priest??) beside the priest. He, too, had his right hand extended. But I think he saw me shake the priest's hand because he was expecting me to do that with him, too. =) .. (oh my gosh! Soooo embarrassing.. As I'm typing this, I can feel my face turning red!)
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Oldest bro and SIL decided to do Dad's 1st year anniversary of his death. Well, they did that also for mom. The only difference is that the family (as in we, dad's children) will be putting out food for the last rosary, which is the day he died, July 21st.

I went to the church mass (forgot the Catholic word for it - Oh! Mass of Intention) on Saturday and Sunday. It's very awkward to not participate during mass and try to remain respectful to the Catholics way of worship. Everyone stands, I'm still sitting. Everyone kneels, I'm still sitting. Even by sitting at the last pew in the back, I stick out like a sore thumb. I'm reaching a point that I will tell family: I'm not a Catholic and going to your mass is really uncomfortable for me... I didn't go tonight. Nor am I going tomorrow night.
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gladimhere, those Caller ID numbers are fake numbers. You may block one boiler room call center, but there a plenty more other boiler room call centers out there using the same Caller ID. It's like Wack A Mole trying to catch them all :P
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Maybe get a new phone number and an answering machine or get a private phone number and only give it so certain people.
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I answered the phone because it looked like sis' cell phone number. Plus, our phone number is very close to our local water agency's emergency phone number. If I don't answer the phone, that person would just keep calling until I do. Of course, maybe I should now turn on the answering machine. Except, when I need to reach oldest sis, I have to make the phone ring like 20 times, hang up, then call again before she finally answers it. I don't want the answering machine on in case of emergencies and I need to reach sis.
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Book, turn off the bell on the phone on your "me day" especially!

I got my first IRS scam call yesterday. I suspect they have been calling for months. I DO NOT answer my phone if I do not recognise the number or shows unknown/unavailable. If they want to speak with me they will leave voice mail. Yes the IRS collect voice mail. Now that number is blocked. But, after blocking another call came through that showed the same number.
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Book, How dare they call you at 7:10 am! Will your phone service allow you to block phone numbers. If so, I think I would block theirs. That's uncalled for. I am sorry that happened to you and particularly on your me day.
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Sunday. My me-day. I don’t go shopping or visiting. My Me-day to stay home. Phone ringing. I blearily looked at time. 7:10 am. Lately, I’ve been having interrupted sleeps and unable to fall back into unconsciousness easily. I woke up 5-ish (3rd time this morning) Took a while before I finally slept ... Who is calling so early in the morning? Maybe wrong number. Got up, answered groggily, “Yes?”. {Too much effort to announce ‘so-so residence’}. .... Ohhh mannnn ... It’s the Unannounced Visitor calling.

Did I wake you up?.. Yes... oh! I woke you up? ... Yes ... ... ... and then he continues talking. I stood there answering single answers . Yes.. no ... no ... {oh nooo this is not going to be a short phone call!} .. I pulled the phone away from my ear and glared at it as he continued to talk... I walked back to my sofabed and laid down as he continued talking. .. debating if I should just hang up on him. Nope, he’ll just call back... or drop by unannounced... I laid there with the phone away from my ear as he continued to talk. Oops, he asked a question. I didn’t hear the words... well... I’m no longer sleepy.
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Slept until 7:00, usually 5:00 on a good day and feel like I could sleep more. Dreams too.
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Bluebird.. didn't know about dark and grainy urine meant. Saw it both on my parents towards the end but … never questioned it. I just figured they weren't drinking enough water. {eyes rolling … I was in denial to the max}. {{{HUGS}}}
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Funny but am more at peace than ever before. Mom said a month ago to me "you know I will be going home soon". We both are dedicated believers who unless illness stops us or in her case until my brother who abused her and refused to take her or let anyone else get her moved in with her. Mom and I listen everyday, sometimes over half the day to CDs of "In Search of The Lords Way". It calms her most of the time.

Now however her body is beginning to shut down. Sleeps more than awake. Hasn't eaten in a long time and is now cutting down on when she will drink something. Too weak now to get out of bed. Last couple of weeks trying to use lift to get her over potty chair or even lift her up enough to put the bed pan under is useless. She was going before getting in position. Twice had to spend 3 hours sucking up out of carpet and washing and deodorizing the carpet. Gave up and told her to use the diaper and it is ok. She didn't like the idea but came to conclusion herself she could no longer control it. Last 6 days Urine is dark and grainy. I suspected it is the progression. Hospice said that is the kidney not filtering and I was right.... First signs of end of life organ shutting down unless the bowel lack was the first. But she appears to not be in any additional pain that doesn't go away after she is done "urinating" or as she puts it "I'm peeing my britches!" She can not complete a full long sentence without voice going to a murmured mumble. Even if I repeat what I heard clearly enough she will not take up there but tries to go back and start over or just sighs and either stares at me or turns away or shuts her eyes. She no longer calls out to me at night. I hear over the walkie talkie (baby monitor) If she picks up things on the hospital type bed table. (Water bottle, Kleenex box etc or if I hear the straw slurping) or if she drops one of them.

Last visit Hospice Nurse said most people will last less than 2 weeks when it shuts down or they go into a comatose state and I won't be able to waken her. Yet though I sometimes feel down for an hour or so I am surprisingly doing well and when she is coherent so is she. So I do talk about how I SEE she is ready and anxious to go to her reward. How wonderful her reward will be and God will tell her she has been a good and faithful servant. That I will be ok, maybe a bit sad for a bit but I know where she will be and someday when God says HE is READY for me I will join her. But I also tell her that evidently HE isn't ready for us yet because she is still here and so am I. She smiles and nods. "His time, His time." comes out clearly.
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Mally, hoping all goes well now that your mom gave you the go ahead.

Bettina, I remembered being sooo tired all the time. The worst for me was the mornings. Too exhausted in the mornings and wanting to sleep in late, every day. Months after my bedridden mom passed away, I took a trip to Hawaii to getaway for a while. Dad was bedridden, too. I was so mad at myself. I still can't believe I spent so much money on the hotel in the middle of Waikiki - to rest all day in the hotel room! My body finally crashed after 20 years of caregiving mom. I was too exhausted to walk far anywhere in Waikiki. Your comment reminded me of that time. I spent most of my week in my hotel's bed! You have it right, though, about craving the bed - whether we want it or not. I hope something good will happen to give you some respite from the exhaustion.
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Happy and contented, but too tired to bask in it.
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