The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?

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Yeah, the thing is, some emojis look so nice on my iPad. Then when I'm reading on my Kindle, it looks ugly! Like what happened to the emoji's body? Why is it looking like a blob? Sometimes, what I post on the Kindle, looks awful here on the laptop. So, I ended up preferring the dinosaur age emoji. Go figure! I'm still using flip open cell phone....
I’m taking care of my 89 year old grandmother. She has been extremely mean lately. Lashing out at me. She suffers (but hides well in public) from memory loss and her mental state has changed dramatically over the last 6 months. My husband, and 3 year old live here with her & we all work to take care of her for the last 4 years. I feel like I’m miserable and missing out on the chance at a happy, peaceful life with possibly a second baby due to taking care of her. Her son (my dad) is now retired, lives an hour away, but you won’t see him lift a finger to help with her daily care. He can’t stand his Mom. I don’t want to abandon her, but how much of my family’s happiness do I sacrifice until enough is enough? Thanks for listening.
Doing
You have been a blessing in your grandma's life but if she has dementia her needs will increase and at 89 it will likely be very difficult for you to continue to care for her in your home

If her mood is changing recently then a doctor visit is a good idea including ruling out an UTI. Before a crisis hits, start to make a plan so that you don't abandon her. You can contact your county area on aging to do a needs assessment and identify services for grandma.

If you start a new question thread, you will get more direct replies
Any emojis I get on my flip cellphone just look like empty squares. My God-daughter has one that looks like a heart. I tried to do it here but the website doesn't allow certain wingding designs. Anyway, you use "lesser than" then type 3 it will look like a heart if you look at it sideways.

Book, thanks for the cheering \o/ I like that one.
FF, I've noticed that when people include emojis in their emails or text from an ipad or iphone they don't display on outlook or my old style phone, it's just squares.
Bookluvr,

Yes, The pain is why I won't read e-books. Also, You have to print out the book in case your device crashes. Hardcopy versions are so much easier.

I have enough D, C, AA, and AAA. But not enough 9V.
Dental appt today - doing the xrays. Dental hygienist apologizes as she struggles to insert the film into my mouth. She kept apologizing as she told me to bite down on it, that it's going to hurt because my mouth is so small. I bite down, PAIN, and tears started rolling down. I was so embarrassed that when she took the film out, I had tears running down my face. Now, the left side's turn. No pain at all but it felt as if the film was pressing something in my mouth that was blocking my air. I tried not to panic that I couldn't breathe in much. This is the first time it has happened.

I went to the Post Office to pick up my package - large wedge pillow that folds in half. The PO agent comes out carrying a large box! She took one look at my built, & exclaimed so loud for everyone to hear, "It's almost bigger than you!" I responded back, "Nah, it's almost half my size!" I had a bit of a problem carrying the box that was almost too wide for my arms to stretch to carry it. Jerk of a guy saw me with the box behind him and he just walked through the door without holding it open. Remember how I said this island is small? He works for a law office as their runner or jack-of-all-trades guy. So, I had to turn backwards to open the door. As I stared at the next door to get through, a military guy who just walked in, without even looking at me, turned around and opened the door. I sincerely said, "I am most appreciative! Thank you!" .... He didn't even reply to me at all. {sigh...}
Most of my books were collected in my late teens and early 20's when my dad & I would go to the flea markets every weekends. Paperbacks were all that I could afford. After I posted here about having my favorite books, I went to check my books. I opened the cabinet. Eeww! It smells moldy and dusty smelling. I started sneezing. I was afraid to touch the books. I pulled one out, opened it, and started sneezing. Oh no! My favorites that I'm currently mourning is the Louis L'amour - Sackett series. I just cannot see myself spending normal E-book prices for these books! I don't know if I still have my Old Book Lists. That list has all * on my favorite books. Those with *, I'm willing to spend money for. These are books that I've had over 25 years ago. I definitely don't have the Book List from that time. Those lists included the category: Westerns. I was into Zane Grey and some other authors. My Current Book Lists is more of books from the past 10 years. sigh...
Doingmydadsjob, may I know what's your long term goal with regards to your grandma? Some elderly live past age 95. You've been doing this for 4 years. Does she have personal income? Are you staying in her home? Can she still do things for herself that she can move into a senior home/housing? My brain just went completely blank. No matter how I try to think of the next words, I become extremely sleepy and brain mushy.

So sorry, I lost my thought and my brain refuses to find it. Basically, if you want freedom from caregiving, you need to research your options. On the top left, the 3 horizontal lines, click on it and find the SEARCH. Read the different topics to find what's best for your case. Hope you find something.
Long post warning....FIL back in hospital, with labored breathing and increased edema. We suspected pneumonia but it's COPD and heart issues continuing. He and I talked about how he can't go back home to live alone, but needs to move where he can get the needed care. He understands but is so terribly sad. He's wrapping his head around it, as he just told me we needed to cancel his TV cable. The hospitalist who was so helpful with my mom is still here so I'm going to track him down. He's been admitted under observation so I need to do some pleading and groveling to get the Medicare trifecta..Dex, three overnights and in patient admit.

My DH is so overwhelmed with sadness and the feeling helplessness....he's kind of shutdown. Trying to keep him taking care of himself with meds on time, hydration, food and some rest.

My mom has been quite nasty the past few weeks. And as it happens with narcs with significant memory loss, she's able to remember how to inflict the most damage but has no memory of the conversation the next day. The last straw was how badly she treated my daughter on Christmas. My soninlaw had to intercede.

She had the idea I was picking her up on New Years Day, as that was a big family deal back some 40 years. I never do anything but rest from the holidays on NYD. Anyhow, she waited for me in the lobby for three hours, finally calling me to find out where I was. She was in tears, I was exhausted and feeling like I was getting ill. It was a terrible conversation, loaded with the guilt trips and nastiness that have been her MO. She finally admitted that she knew I hadn't made plans with her, but just assumed I would pick her up and have her spend the day with us. I finally said I needed to end the conversation and said goodbye. She said I love you, I didn't respond and she asked me if I could at least say words that I cared. God help me, I couldn't do it. The next day, she'd forgotten all about the conversation, putting on the caring mother act for her dinner table mates and asking how I was and telling me to take care of myself. I'm done.

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