The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today? - AgingCare.com

The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?

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This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.

I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.

Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.

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I go to the ophthalmologist next Tuesday. I was supposed to have cataract surgery and start Eyelea treatments for macular degeneration. Then a pile of other stuff happened. My eyes are getting bad and I have to get this done. And I need to get Eyelea treatments started. I don’t want to end up blind. Aging is not a pleasant experience - can’t imagine how I’ll feel at 80 if I make it that long. I saw the nutritionist today. Not many changes. Just a few tweaks.
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Took mom back to the eye surgeon today,, it looks good, so her next apt is Fri.. that means I get a full day OFF!! I am getting my hair done.. yeah me! One of my BFFs came over with a pizza for lunch for all of us, and we visited for a while, She is going through a tough time with a hubs with Lewy Body. Then hubs and I went to Wal Mart.. funny how the little things seem so wonderful when we are stressed to the max. So today I had a good day! Hope you all did too.
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I would think visitors can stay home while host isn't home, but I don't know for sure.
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Glad, the first and last time I went to the Springs, baby sister told me that maybe my next visit, to visit my other family in the states. I felt bad because older sis and I get along great. Same sister that I used my mileage reward to buy her ticket to meet me in Hawaii for my cancer scare. Same sister that I will be joining in a cruise next year. I have thought of going to the Springs but I keep recalling baby sis telling me to check out my other sibs. Maybe my visit was a hardship for older sis.

Fave niece wants to take me to the pumpkin patch when I visit them in October. I told her that I don't think so because the smell of mango blossoms, freshly mowed lawn, etc.. gives me a headache and then my airway closes. I start choking and can't breathe air in. Both nieces and my sister said that I should go to the doctor and get an Rx for it - so that I can go to the pumpkin patch. I don't want an allergy attack that might hospitalize me in Texas - where I have no insurance coverage. Plus, it would make my 24-hour flying back home a really terrible experience..

Can a visitor in a military housing stay home while the military family goes to the pumpkin patch event? I don't want to suggest this and get her in trouble. But I don't want to go the pumpkin patch and have hay fever attack. By the way, even smelling the mowed lawn through the air conditioner vent in the car - I still start choking. I have to not breath in as long as I can until I pass the freshly mowed lawn. That's how bad it is with just a mowed lawn. Two doctors said that I'm not asthmatic.
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A very pleasant 71 now, down to 59 overnight. Great sleeping weather. Book, maybe you should go to the Springs instead of Texas.;)
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Oh Book,
you must be exhausted
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MsMadge, for the past 2 nights, I've been waking up soaking wet from sweat. Bedding, clothes and pillow were wet. I have 3 fans (2 are minis) aimed at me. I only have 1 bedroom window that doesn't have the typhoon shutters on. It's routine to get off the bed, change everything and go back to sleep with dry clothing and sheets.

I'm glad that your area is cooling off a bit. I'm jealous! =)
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Dare I say that it's a bit cooler and I might not have to sleep with fans blowing on me all night
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I'm trying to clear my iPad's photos to make space for when I visit niece in October. I have photos since I visited my brother in 2015, my dad's viewing, funeral, to current. I have like 928 photos (been whittling it down throughout the years.) I transferred it to the laptop. I spent like 4 hrs today transferring one-by-one to the CD because I didn't want to send All the photos. Only the ones that I like. At 4pm, my laptop froze. I waited for it to unfreeze for 30min. Finally, I did what my work IT has told me to never do. I did a hard shut down. Turned it on. Oops.. that doesn't look good. So I did a hard shut down...Turned it on... oohhh... Anyway, needless to say, I kept rebooting my laptop. I lost all those photos that I did Not transfer to the CD. So, I spent another 8 hrs transferring photos. I stopped at the end of 2017.

Once I transferred everything to the CDs, I will then transfer from the CDs to the flash drives so that I have 2 hard copies from different media. Yes, I also have it stored on the iPad iCloud, too. And I've emailed the photos from my iPad to myself. Maybe overkill?
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Pam, I learned the hard way with dad, to not give him open options. Because most likely, like 99% of the time, he chooses what I don't want. I learned to be firm and gave him 2-3 options... that I can live with. What's the use giving an option if we're going to say, "Nope, not that one." Sometimes, we just need to be Firm (note, I didn't see bossy.) Right? We're being firm. =)
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