The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?

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This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.

I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.

Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.

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It’s 1:00am. I’m tired but not sleepy. I’ve been blowing my nose. Not sure if it’s sinus with all that acupressure I’ve been doing.. or the beginning of a flu. I took the box of NyQuil out. Expiring this month. Still good. Uhm... something looks odd. I’ve never seen a purple with a green tinge NyQuil. 🗑 it. I’m going to open the new box that expires next year. One pill will knock me out cold. .. Please No Morning phone calls. Or visitors. I want to sleep 💤 in late.
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Sorry, Book :( Hope you get to feeling better. It does sound like the stress is making you sick. Take it easy and do something nice for you today.
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Poor Book! :(

Can you do something that will take your mind off everything completely? You are terribly stressed and it's making everything worse, don't you think?
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My trip is next week Friday. I hate flying and stressed to the max.  Doesn't help that my flight roundtrip is via Japan.  In the past month, Japan has been hit with 3 strong typhoons.  The most recent one was this past Monday, the previous one was last week.  I will be traveling without a cellphone.  I've learned from a previous trip that not all airports have paid phones at the baggage claim area... Today, I have a sore throat, stuffy right face and feeling very drained.  {grimacing} I had chicken soup for dinner, OJ.  I was going to take the Airborne Vit C but figured it was overkill with vit C. 

Remember when I fell in July 1st?  Well, the arm that got hurt the most at the time, which the xray showed no fracture?  It's been hurting since last week.  I will try to go as a walk-in tomorrow at the clinic even though they don't accept walk-ins on Saturdays.  They're all booked up (as usual).
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On another note, the probate is still going on. I tried to go to the power company to take out dad's name and leave mine on it. I was told that I can't do that until probate is over and the house/land has transferred to the new owner. Since my 2 brothers are also on the Will for the house/land, I will need them to write a letter authorizing me to put the power utility under my name and a copy of their ID. Then, they will end the current contract with me and my dad's name on it. And I will need to apply for the power utility. Really??? Why not just wait until probate's over, I provide the letters & IDs from my brother and just adjust the account? Why do we need to disconnect and then re-apply as a New Account? In this modern time with everything computerized, how hard is it? Why all this red tape? .. I was going to do the water utility but ... after seeing the power, I decided to wait until probate is over to try to change Any of the current utilities (power, water, solid waste, etc...)
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I went to the private family viewing for my Aunty. I was late 30 min. and sat on the 2nd to the last row, next to my 1st cousin (her sister recently passed away from cancer). Another aunty was saying the rosary. Cousin on my right, and her brother (my fave cousin) on my left on the opposite end of the long bench seat (like a pew?) Cousin was discreetly crying. I was discreetly crying. What was worse, as tears kept silently falling, I didn't know Who I was crying for. My mind kept bouncing between my dad, my 1st cousin and my aunty. I felt bad that I wasn't just crying for aunty .. but all 3 people. My deceased aunty's grandkids sang twice to their grandmother. I just started crying more. They also sang for my mom and dad's private family viewing and on the day of their funeral. After it ended, fave male cousin hugged me and refused to let me go off. He quietly but physically held me to join his family (his siblings and mom) in the line to view aunty's body and then to offer condolences to the family.

There were others who were ahead of us. When I was done looking at deceased aunty in the coffin, I turned to look at my uncle. He loved showing public affection to his wife. She always told him to behave. He was just sitting there while his adult children were standing and greeting people... I looked at Uncle. He was devastated. (I think he's also on the road to senility.) In all these years, Uncle and I always joked around with each other every time we met at the Post Office. I looked at him.  He looked at me.  I stood there, opened my arms really wide and looked at him. He stood up and we just hugged so hard. I didn't say anything. Just hugged him. After that, he continued to stand and greet those behind me. {He was manfully sniffling. I was delicately sniffling.}

It's now 10pm. I looked in the mirror. My eyes are still a bit red from silently weeping hours ago. D*rn! I didn't know it was obvious that I was crying. No wonder, male 1st cousin was so solicitous towards me. …. I dread the funeral this Saturday.
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I told sis that i don’t want to go to the flea market. It’s been raining since Thursday. Sis has been coughing very hard and long lately. My body is exhausted. I’m already stressing about my oncoming flying. This is... I’m very susceptible to getting sick... I’m sleeping with the light on. I Swear I’m hearing footsteps walking pass the closed door in the hallway. Twice I opened it to see who’s walking by. No one... I Forgot!! I’m such a scaredy-cat. I have my small flashlight beside me. I decided to sleep the other direction because there’s a huge glow-in-the-dark skeleton hanging on the wall above the bed. The skeleton is behind me. Good thing I suddenly decided to bring 2 eye masks. I never did before...

By the way, my new eye glasses cost $521.00. The lady looked up in surprise when I said that $521 is great. She replied that most people complain that it’s expensive. I said that my current eye glasses cost me $800. ... Ohhhh, I continued.... that’s $521 NOT including my eye exam, isn’t it? She said it’s only the glasses. Sigh... when I went up to pay for it... $732. I hope it comes in time before my trip. ..
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Glad, I recommend that you first try the real deal so that you have basis for comparison. I grew up thinking Taco Bell was real Mexican tacos. Then, in Hawaii, a person made her famous Mexican dish. It was baked in the oven with white sauce and chicken, etc... according to everyone, it was delicious. I, uhm.... didn’t like it at all. I couldn’t force myself to eat, as a guest, but my stomach was objecting literally. One more bite and all my dinner would’ve came rushing out. Taco Bell has ruined me towards real Mexican food. So, if you’re able to find a Filipino who can make the banana lumpia, that’ll be great... No dipping. It’s already sweetened.
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Mmmmm! Never have had lumpia now shishkbobs for breakfast. Are the bananas quartered or halved before they are fried in the lumpia paper? Pictures look wonderful. Are they served with caramel sauce for dipping? They do look good.
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Fried rice, over-medium egg and 2 sticks of delicious family-secret marinaded beef or chicken shish kabobs. The meat is soft and flavorful. Sometimes, we just buy the shish kabobs and walk around the flea market. And the Filipino banana lumpia. Yum!!!!
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