I have no clue what to expect.

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I'm in the process of becoming a primary caregiver for my 67yo father who had a stroke 3 years ago. His right side is completely paralyzed, his speech is nonexistent & he's completely incontinent; however he's still aware of his surroundings and can express his displeasure or his joy.
Here's where it gets a little hairy: we have not spoken in over 10 years and i'very been here 3 weeks. Also, he had the stroke in asia where the details are more on the cloudy side. Apparently his health has declined since coming back to the states five months ago. He sleeps most of the day & is only awake about 45 minutes three times a day to eat. He will only eat hamburger & sausage patties.
He has a POA that I trust who has been taking care of him night and day since she brought him home, but obviously needs help as she has her own family and full time job. I'm here at his home now taking on 24 hour care. I'm considering asking if he'd like to come to my home where it's more spacious & frankly not as depressing for me for the winter, giving my dad the option of coming back to his home, giving his current caregiver a break as I can tell she's completely burned out. I haven't run this by her yet as I'd like any thoughts or opinions on this first... some help please?

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You all have given me a lot of wonderful points to meditate on~ much gratitude. I still have a lot to actually work out, but i have decided that taking him to my home is not an option~ there's a reason i am not his poa and I'm definitely okay with that. I had accepted a long time ago that i would never know what happened to my father, so this experience will be closure to many childhood issues. I like the idea of visiting every few months for a week or two after this winter...

Every one has been so helpful and I'm so grateful. Please keep any advice or thoughts coming because this site has been the best therapy for studying the experiences of others who were in my shoes.
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If you feel guilty now imagine the guilt you will put on yourself in two months should you decide it is not working for you. Consider coming to town every so often and giving the other person a break.
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Kymimi, in your situation (strained relationship with father) I think the appropriate role for you (assuming you want a role at all) is to be his advocate for good care. It is NOT to provide that care yourself.

Read up on Medicaid. Even if it looks like your father has too much monthly income to qualify it is entirely possible to work around that. Find an attorney (in his county) that specializes in Elder Law and get a consultation regarding how to apply and what to expect from Medicaid. (This should be paid for with Dad's funds.)

If you want to do the right thing, be his advocate -- don't abandon him. If you are trying to prove that you are worthy of his love or trying to earn a relationship you wished you'd had earlier, that effort is pretty much doomed.
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Unfortunately not a vet, but thank you nature73
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If he is a vet, he may qualify for Aid & Attendance -a great resource.
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Thanks so much for the support & thoughts ~ @Churchmouse: simply put & simply correct. I've already agreed to be here for the next few weeks so i'm okay with that and will do what i can then go back to my life...~@CarlaCB: i appreciate the jumping board for some info. I would like to help as much as i can while i'm here as his poa's English is not her first language.
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For Medicaid, you have to start with the state of your father's residence. Look up his state department of aging or whatever the agency is called in his state. Do a few google searches - you should come up with it fairly easily. Good luck!
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The person who has power of attorney and retrieved him five months ago... What's her Plan B, apart from dumping daddy on your hands?

I think it's great for the POA to get a brief respite. I think it's great for your Dad to be forgiven, and I think it's good karma for you to forgive him. All of that should take no more than another week.

Responsibility for your father's care plan rests with his POA. Not with you. Don't do it.
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I was told that he got his pension & thats all we have to work with as he has a mortgage & no savings left.
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Medicaid pays for nursing homes?! I guess i need to find out what help i can get him. Yes, he is a citizen and he worked for Amtrack for over 30 years... does anyone know how i get information on what he might qualify for?
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