No bowel movement without laxative.......a nightmare!

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As if it's not enough to be bombarded with all the craziness of being a caregiver......let's add to it another nightmare........the big 'C'.......constipation! Please don't mention that my mother is not getting enough roughage. I could feed her a sack of pine cones and it would not make her go. No food exists that would make her have a natural bowel movement and she does not have the patience to give to give it a try. The only way she goes is using a laxative. She absolutely cannot go without it. I know it's bad to use the all the time, but her body has got to the point where that is the only way. This may sound mild to all of you who do not have to endure this. Just imagine being a caregiver to a elderly constipated person. It's torture! But, as soon as they have their bowel movement......it's pure heaven.......they are pacified for a few days, until it all starts over again. Constipation is just another 'curse' that the elderly and their caregivers have to endure. I literally celebrate in my mind when my mother has a bowel movement because I know the days in between are pure hell. Don't mention to me about giving her Metamucil........it does not work on her. Besides, even if it would eventually work, she is too impatient to let is work. If she does not have a 'blast' soon after taking her laxative pills....the she freaks out. I would like to her from others in my same situation......a situation where NOTHING works to produce a bowel movement until a laxative is given. For any of you who have not gone through this (about constipation) then you should feel blessed. Some of you might think it's a minor problem......well, it's not a minor problem. In my case it's a nightmare. When my mother takes the laxatives.......that is what I call 's*** day'......that whole day is a stay at home day......so my mother can make her many trips to the bathroom. I just love my role as caregiver......the nightmare continues.

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You're all angels. I just think, angels are allowed to get hacked off sometimes too. xxx
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Reverseroles, I love how well you handle things. If we had a vote here, I would vote you as the Number 1. I know I couldn't handle what you do. Hats off to you.
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Roscoe, Btw, I agree with you windytown, I have been through a lot worse than that and am about to start year 7. My Mom would pull her pants down and pee on the floor even if it was the middle of the night, had a year of barely any sleep and had to get her to daycare to work fulltime at 7am, etc. oh dont even get me started. lol
Anywhoooo, probably 4 years ago I took my Mom to the Emergency Room because she was impacted. They put on gloves and pulled it all out. I swore I would never let my poor mom ever get constipated again! Miralax was recommended by her Doctor and yes its safe for everyday. (shes been on it for over 4 years) The colon is very long, you cant just give it here and there, you need to consistantly keep it moving and soft in its track. We started out wth 2 Tablespoons each morning and throught the course a year, Yes a year, we finally learned her correct amount, Yes through lots of accidents and lots of laundry and floor washing, My Mom now takes 1.5 tea-spoons every morning in 4 oz of real coffee (we split one). She then has prune pudding with her crushed pills in it and a 10 oz decaf tea and off to the bathroom we go. This takes me an hour because she could choke. Then I lift her onto the toilet, yes she cannot walk, or talk, and she goes pooppaloopa. If she doesnt go, I use KY and do what I call a very gentle pump & dump. Nursing homes call it the swirl to get them to go. She goes every morning no fail. I feed her 4 oz of prune juice everynight before bed warmed with a bit of sugar and Thick it so she wont choke. I also give her pills am/pm in my homemade prune pudding.
Prune Pudding:
1 1/3 cup prune juice
1 1/3 cup bran flakes
1 sm individual container of applesauce (1/2 cup I think)
(I add a tad of peanut butter and sugar but you dont have to)
just slowly melt it down in a saucepan on the stove until smooth. Add prune juice if too thick.
* I use a shot glass full with her pills in it am/pm
Hope this helps and please remember that if you are stressed its going to upset your Mom, they have great senses and dont want to feel like a burden, poor things need help. I wouldnt want to be with anyone who was disgusted by me, I rather die ! I treat my Mom with love and patience 100% even when I am stressed to the absolute max. We will all be in the same boat some day, "live and learn" and "we get what we give" Put yourself in her shoes please and if you cant do it, get a cna who can. We are all in what you call prison, emotionally and physically, but we do what we can out of unconditional love, and hire help when we can. Think of how she feels.
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Roscoe, To think that you have the biggest cross to bear on this website leads me to think you are very self-involved. How can you read everyone's stories on here and yet you challenge us to refute that your life is more miserable than the rest of us? Reminds me of the narcissists that most of us have to deal with day in and day out.

That's not normal and AC is our refuge. You've been on here for months and refuse to do anything about your situation. You have the funds to arrange for care for your mother while you attend therapy.

Are you really in a Bates Motel type situation, or are you just yanking our internet chains?

I find it really distasteful to call for a throwdown. That's yourself crying for help Roscoe. I hope you find it soon in whatever situation suits you best.
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Miralax. Start it every morning in her coffee or tea as directed. Start it AFTER her next laxative clean out. It will take a few days for her body to adjust and then she should be regular every day with NO cramping or blowouts...just normal gentle bowel elimination. You have to keep her drinking during the day to make sure gut stays hydrated and allows miralax to work.

You could alternately give her 400 mg of magnesium daily.

This should help alleviate this part of your caregiving frustration.
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sorry Roscoe.. called you Justin.. have no idea why.. Maybe I am suffering from the after effects of caregiver burn-out. I swear I lost so much of myself while caregiving,
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Give me time, Roscoe. Give me time. For now the practical side of my daily caring tasks range only from the tedious to the mildly disgusting, and it's the emotional traps I've fallen into, one by one, like I'm a case study for The Naïve Idiot's Guide To Taking On Things She Should Have Thought Through Beforehand…

Ok now to be serious. The reality of physical breakdown is disgusting. We're hard-wired to find it disgusting, and sure enough it is. In spite of that, you're still there, still handling all the boring, revolting jobs that need to be done to keep your mother safe, clean and comfortable, still caring. There aren't any medals available, so I hereby officially award you the right to be absolutely livid about it.

Oh God I hope nobody's going to get too competitive about specific examples, I'm not sure I can take it...
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Justin, No need for a throw down or a contest. We have all gone through some pretty horrific days, very few us have the parent who is like the sweet 100 year old we see on the Hallmark channel. I feel your pain, your frustration, have been there before and will be there again. From my personal experience it would appear your mother is definitely reading for assisted living or even a nursing home at this point. You do have a life and you need to live it too.
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Roscoe888 no one can beat the your challenge, but yourself. Caregiver burnout is what you are experiencing, yet you say who else will do it. Have you looked into other resources for some type of respite. You seem to want a life for yourself, but your committment to your mother's care is holding you back and I see resentment for doing it in your posts. Challenge yourself with "Enough is Enough" and try to find additional help and resouces.
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I'm ready for a 'THROW DOWN'........I hereby challenge any of you to beat the crazy.....bizarre life that I lead. You have all read my posts........who can beat my living hell???
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