I'm glad a friend of mine who has a 35 year old disabled son suggested this site. I am so exhausted emotionally and physically I can barely type. I've only had my Mom living with me for a few weeks, but I've been taking care of her part time for over a year, and in smaller ways for 7 years.
We bought an Amish farm, with a lovely big house, and had a special bathroom put in, and made a really nice space for my mother. Up until just over a month ago, she showered and dressed herself, could grab herself a snack, do a few dishes, etc. It seems like almost overnight, she lost her capability of self care, and now that she's moved in, it is almost full care. We thought she had a stroke, but an MRI was normal for her age. It's all happened so fast, and I'm shocked every day by the continued downward spiral. I am very sad, and I feel hopeless and trapped. I read on here that these are normal feelings, but I really hate getting up in the morning and facing another day. Even worse than that, is I feel ashamed that I'm a wreck. I have seen and read about people being caregivers for years and years. My friend has done it with her son for 35 years. He is autistic, diabetic, and blind. I just feel really bad about myself. I have a wonderful, supportive husband that helps with her care, and a woman that comes in twice a week for 4 hours and cooks, and sits with Mom. My husband is semi-retired, so I can also get out when he's here. I should be grateful, but I just feel overwhelmed. I'm hoping that this is a very painful adjustment period. Maybe someone would share how they felt in the very beginning of their caregiving. Thank you so much.