I would never want to burden down someone with being a caregiver for me.

No you are not the only person to feel this way- I do and so do many others. Years ago, I attended a training seminar, regarding long term care insurance,that was very powerful and left a lasting impression. It was conducted by a elderly law attorney whom is considered an expert in elderly estate planning. He is a strong advocate for long term care insurance as he had seen many families and children's lives destroyed (emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually ) as a result of long term care obligations. He shared horrific stories, similar to many on these posts. Overwhelming caregiving situations, children fighting, children going bankrupt as a result of not working because of caregiving obiligations, total lack of concern for caregiviers and their lives. He was also divorced and had extreme dislike for his ex but he was voluntarily paying for long term care insurance for his ex because he did not want his children's lives to be "ruined". Now that is a statement.

Your situation sounds horrific and I am sorry that you are in this situation . Who would ever want to be such a burden on others especially their children. Have you ever thought that you have done everything possible for your mother and it may be time to consider alternative caregiving arrangements?. (My Dad is now in a nursing home, yes their are some good ones out there, where trained professsionals are caring for his needs. I took care of my Dad as long as I could but being at home is no longer a safe and viable option.) I hope this post

fordellcastle: Well put.

No, you are definitely not. My Living Will states that all my medications are to be stopped immediately if diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer's in addition to any other terminal illness. It's a living death. I also do not agree with people who think the person who is diagnosed shouldn't be told. They should be able to make the choice of how to handle it themselves. It's cruel to force someone out of their ignorance to endure this living death. I have heard of patient/doctor confidentiality, but that does not mean the doctor should be able to withhold diagnoses from his patients. It makes me so angry. Have you considered a nursing home for your mother? Any loving parent in their right mind would not want their child to be in your position. You only get one life.

pdehaven: I certainly understand.

Rainesage: No, you are not the only one. I suspect we all feel that way. You have my great respect for giving care to two parents, fifteen plus years. I am going into my third year with my mom and physically caring for her is not the issue, yet. I have said all my life that I do not want to do to my children what my mom has done to me mentally/emotionally for sixty-four years. Perhaps this is satan's last effort to snag my soul. God help me, he certainly has a shot at it. I don't ever want my kids to feel this way about me.

I too feel the same way. I have been the full-time (24/7) care giver for my father and mother since 2008. Dad passed in 2011 and now I only tend mother. I am fortunate that she does not sling her bodily substances about the room. She has dementia and other problems and is on Hospice care at this time. I tend her 24/7. I don't want to burden my child or loved ones with my daily care. I have asked that if and when the time comes that I can no longer care for myself, I be placed in an assisted living or total care giving facility. I only ask of my loved ones that they come to see me and, to the best of their ability, see to it that I am not ABUSED as I have heard so many horror stories throughout the years. I ultimately desire to not have to go to a facility but to just pass away, in my sleep. But with Jack Kavorkian now gone, who will I be able to call on?