My mil has no life of her own and nor does she even try. She sits in her room all day fixated on the news. I am really starting to resent her. None of her four daughters want nothing to do with her so she is stuck with us acting more like one of our children than a grandmother. I have tried to reach out to her by encouraging her to get a life, make friends, get some male companionship, learn a new hobby etc. but she always come up with some sort of excuse. I know from her actions at times that she suffers from some sort of mental illness but I do believe alot of her actions are from her being lonely, bitter (her husband left her 30 yrs ago, vindictive, jealous, and jealousy of me, yes her own DIL. I just want her out of my house and away from my children.
How is your husband involved in her care? Is she living in your house, or is your family living in hers? Does the rent she pays play an important part in keeping your budget balanced or would you folks be fine without it? Does she qualify for subsidized senior housing?
Lots of questions, I know. But you'll get better answers with a more rounded picture.
than it was worth. She has a small retirement check that contributes to the bills but its not needed to maintain. There has been no mental evaluation mainly because I think her family would rather just ignore it because they ignore her. She wont go into a nursing home because she probably knows that once she is there she wont have any real attachment to family. She has caused so many issues within her family that no one really wants to be around her. I just want her out of my house. And ended up owing more on the home than what it was worth so my husband decided to let it go to relieve her of the stress. She has NOT had any sort of treatment of a mental illness because everyone for some reason is scared of the outcome and has seemed to just ignore it and her all together. My husband handles her financial affairs because she has no clue or at least pretends.
1. Get her in to see an internist to check out her basic physical health.
2. Get her to a psychiatrist for evaluation of her mental status
3. Get her to a neurologist who specializes in assessment of those with cognitive decline/dementia.
Ask each of these doctors for an opinion about what kind of living situation she should be in.
Please point out to your husband that the care and wellbeing of your children should come first.
As you know with children, if they don't do their chores, something has to give, like only one hour of TV or no TV. And make that for Mom-in-law, too. Ok, she will pout, and you may have to give her time-out. See if the children can help her make a game out of the chores, like asking her for advice on how to do things.
If that doesn't work, she can pout in her own senior apartment.
to me or being in my way.