My 88 year old grandmother has been dealing with a lot of big changes and health issues since the middle of the summer. She ended up in the hospital in July because her blood was too thin and then in August again because of an infection. Grandma lives alone right now.

Since my Mom works full time and I'm currently looking for a new job while working part-time, I end up taking her grocery shopping, doctors appointments etc. Well, in four days, grandma had 5 doctors appointments. One was for carpal tunnel, but she kept insisting it was broken. The nurse practitioner had an x-ray done because she fell back in July, but her primary care doctor determined months ago nothing was fractured. Then we saw a hand specialist who also said she had carpel tunnel. Grandma was mad after that because according to her, "nobody did anything." She has to wear her wrist brace.

In mid September she was suppose to have her pacemaker replaced, but due to extremely swollen legs and another infection, the surgery was canceled. Her cardiologist gave her lasix, told her she could no longer eat processed food, and had to elevate her legs. Three days later, Grandma called my Mom and said she could only eat fruit, the doctor ruined her diet, and her legs were still swollen. Friday, back at the cardiologist's office, he reiterated that she needed to elevate her legs and cook fresh food. She made a comment about not sleeping in her bed because she can't get out. I said we needed to have a discussion about assisted living or doing something about her bed if that's the case.

Monday we went to the doctor's office that treated her breast cancer for a yearly exam. Grandma refuses to do self exams. While talking to the nurse, she admitted she had been taking the lasix and the old water pill. Why? Because she thinks she knows more than the doctor. The nurse practitioner came in and explained that water pills deplete potassium. Your heart needs potassium to beat properly or you can have a heart attack.

Needless to say, after relaying all this information to my mom, everyone is really upset with Grandma and realizes she can't be trusted to take her medications properly. Mom called grandma's primary care doctor and had a discussion about self medicating and assisted living. We took her old water pills and my Mom is beginning to research assisted living facilities. As far as getting her placed, we have a family member who is a social worker and deals works the elderly. She has offered to help.

No, Grandma is not moving in with anybody. My mom and her never had a good relationship. Grandma is extremely difficult and can be downright mean. She was complaining to me that nobody has taken her clothes shopping yet. I flat out told that we didn't have time to take her shopping right now because of all the doctors appointments. Plus, I need time to find a full time job. My sister has 2 kids both in sports so she's not always available.

Now, I worry that I'll take any job offer I get just to get away from the whole situation. Every time the phone rings and its grandma I just get angry. I've also learned to become very blunt with Grandma. Then she complains to my Mom but that just makes me laugh. My mom is having a harder time though, Grandma's old age has exacerbated their relationship issues.

Okay, venting done. (it turned into a novel)

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I am amazed how many grandchildren are helping to care for grandparents. God bless you all. It’s tough enough for older people to do it. I admire you because I don’t think I would have been prepared to take on the task of caregiving at that age.

Please thank about your future. Talk to your mom about other arrangements for grandma.

I am sure you are doing your best. Hugs!

I'm 34. We take turns when Grandma calls and have learned to not put up with her antics. She likes to pull "feel sorry for me" and when that doesn't work, she gets mad. Most of the time, we don't put up with it. Mom plans on taking my sister and I took look at assisted living facilities nearby.

As far as job hunting goes, I'll find what I'm looking for. I left my previous position due to a toxic environment. No regrets about that.

I don't know how old you are, but it sounds to me like you did your best! As to worrying that you will take any job just to get away.. nothing says you can't keep looking while working :) If the phone calls are all GM, Just don't answer.. let your mom handle that.

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