This is more of a need to vent, not even about caregiving, than it is a question.

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I am having a minor outpatient procedure tomorrow. My husband is out of town, so he can't take me. My daughter is in college, taking a summer session plus works full time. Missing a day of summer session is missing a lot of work, so she can't take me. My son started a new job today, so he can't take me. My son's live in girlfriend and mother of his child, says she can't take me. She has a cousin visiting right now, that could watch the kids for half a day. My brothers day off isn't until Thursday and Friday. Anyway, mom brother told me to have mom take me. My mom has no business driving. She still has her license, and her car is registered in my brothers name, so there isn't anything I can do about the fact that she is driving. Anyway, I'm not having her drive me. The hospital is about thirty minutes away. I don't want to ride in the car with her, and I don't want to be the one she is driving somewhere when she finally has that accident hurting herself or someone else. So, I hired an errand service to drive me to the hospital, sit with me, then drive me home. My husband and I seldom ask for help from anyone, we help people if they ask us. I never actually expect help from people, but it would be nice if someone would help. I wouldn't have asked, if it had not been absolutely necessary. Back to my son. He started this new job yesterday, so he will be going a month without a pay check. We told him that we would help out with gas and groceries. He would have gas to get to work, and no one would go hungry. I am just angry that his girlfriend can't make the time to take me to the hospital.

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Its always good just to have someone THERE beside you when you are having a procedure too. Sorry you have to go this one alone! I have friends with cancer who get rides from FB friends a lot, but they have their own special support groups too.
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I would sit my son down and basically say that all I have done for you and will be doing for you in the next month that the least I think you could do for me is have his baby momma help you out in an emergency. I guess I grew up with if some family member was in need of help, somebody would change their plans to help out. Sad 😕
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No, it's actually a group of women over 50 who are politically liberal and want to be active. But you could start a group with any parameters you want on MeetUp. I have 100 members in my group, but I've carved out a sub-group of seven other women who I feel very compatible with and share more of my values and interests.

In the big group, we do book clubs, volunteer events, dining out, game nights, sports stuff like pickleball, etc. We do game nights, dining out and movies in our smaller group and then get together as friends in smaller groupings. Five of us went to the movies on Sunday morning for example. It turns out that of the eight women in my smaller group, four of us have aging parents we're dealing with. And the four of us are all very responsible people who would help each other in a minute. So I'm thrilled!

You could certainly start a group for caregivers. It takes some work to get started, but I've made some very good friends that I believe will be there for the long haul. I may eventually quit the bigger group, as it's a lot of work. I charge $10 a year for membership. A lot of people start MeetUp groups or join them just to find some friends, then leave the bigger group.
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Blannie, what a great idea! Is the group also of women who are caregivers? Where do you meet?
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I'm single, no kids, so I started a MeetUp group for women over 50 just to meet some nice women to have as friends. We've already helped each other out and I wouldn't hesitate to ask one of them to help me. I'm taking one friend to the airport on Saturday for example. A number of us have elderly parents we're caregiving for. So one more idea for building a pool of helpful people.
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Aw, Jude, you know I'm a tough old lady who can drive under any circumstances!
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Thanks for venting, Valliana.
We were benefitted by calling the senior center for driver referrals. One stood out among the rest, a really great person and a good driver.
Soon, if not yet, there will be insurance coverage for rides home from the hospital.
Try billing Medicare anyway to see what they do. At the very least, it will set a precedent.
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Meant 1/2 day procedure.
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I agree with GardenArtist....sadly young people today (even our children) rarely want to go "out of their way" to help their parents or elders. It's so sad, really. I chalk it up the the millenial ("me") generation of today. If it's not about them, tough noogies. It's all about them, their constant preoccupation with their electronics (phones, etc.) taking "selfies" --- good Lord, can they think about others for a change?

That said, have you spoken in-depth to your son about this? I noticed you mentioned that since HE has a new job, he won't be getting a paycheck for approx. a month, but YOU "would help out with gas and groceries. He would have gas to get to work, and no one (meaning him, his selfish girlfriend and their child) would go hungry." Well, isn't that nice of you. I would "lean on" your son to press his girlfriend into service to their benefactor (YOU). I'm assuming they don't live with you and she has her cousin visiting them and staying at their place. If that's the case, impress upon your son that the cousin can stay with their child while girlfriend takes you to a 1/2 procedure. Geez, Louise!!! Can't they both be that clueless as to helping??? Sometimes tough love is the answer.
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I will have to consider that if this situation occurs again, thanks!
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