It took me 37 years to finally figure out my mothers abuse and why she is the way she is. Me and my sister have dealt with her abusive ways all our lives and always thought she was just bipolar or something. After checking off 37 of the 40 narrsacistic characteristics I've realized that what she has. She tortured my father when we were younger leading to him always staying at his office and never wanting to come home. She cheated on him leading to a divorce and thank god my dad got custody of us. At the time of 10 I was very upset and wanted to live with my mom but now as an adult I realize it was best my dad got us. Unfortunately I'm having to live with her for a bit to save up and get my own place after a break up. I wait on my mom hand and foot do her laundry take her to Dr appointments do all the shopping and cleaning but its never enough. If my mom wants something I buy it for her. I realize now I've always tried to please her all my life. Even as a child I would spend all my bday and Xmas money on buying her gifts that later I would find out shed give away. I've spent my whole life trying to please her. My older sister always got more of her abuse and has nothing to do with her and I totally understand. So that leaves me. She has ms but you would never know it. Shes 65 and it just fine. But she uses that as a feel sorry for me weapon. I know now it doesn't matter how hard I try to please her it will never be enough to a narrsacistic. When I do save up enough to get out of here I will definitely keep my distance so I can try and heal myself from her mental torment and abuse.