What lengths do the narcissists in your life go to in order to go to get their way?
My mom is trying to strong arm me - she doesn't want to see me on 12/23 when I am going to her home town - it is 12/25 or nothing. So far:
1) she has had her sister in FL call me to tell me how upset my mom is and how my mom has only a few years left - yada yada. How I'm an unfeeling daughter. I reply "um hmm" and the bean dip her "so how are your grand kids? How did the play go?" and finally to really get her off topic - "I heard that your oldest son is having marital trouble, is that correct?" Got her off topic for a long time.
2) the manager of her apartment building called me expressing concern. My mom has told her she has no reason to live and wants to end it all. I advised her that if she is concerned please call 911 right away.
3) I have received the usual 10 page letter - typed on both sides. Caps and underlining. I made no comment or acknowledged it. On calls just keep it light, and end by telling her we love her.
4) I usually send her a big bouquet of flowers for Christmas. She doesn't want things - she is downsizing. I received a picture yesterday in text "got your flowers" and the picture is of the flowers - in the DUMPSTER. I texted back "OK". When I spoke with her today, I didn't comment - just chatted about her upcoming apartment move. Finally - she asked what I thought of her picture. I said "fine". She asked if I was going to stop sending her presents. I asked "why?". She said "because I threw your flowers in the dumpster" to which I replied "I sent you the flowers because I love you. What you choose to do with them is totally up to you" She is wanting to pick a fight and I didn't engage - so she told me to "f$##" myself and hung up.
All through my childhood she cried, locked herself in her room for days, screamed and threw things, hit us, whatever to get her way. Now I refuse to give in but I also refuse to fight - so it pi$$es her off.
She has learned over the years to respect my boundaries so we get along most of the time - but holidays are always an emotional mess - Easter and Christmas.
What do your narcissists do to get their way?