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My wife died August 5th 2018 I have nothing and nobody I want to join her.

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MattnGale13, I am so sorry for your loss!

How long were you married?
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So sorry for your loss. Maybe a Member who has lost a spouse can help you with your grief.
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Im so sorry for your loss.
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Very sorry for your loss! I'm betting your wife wouldn't want you to join her, until it's your own time to go. Have you considered a grief counselor or group? It's usually a free resource and can help you through the most difficult times. You have many co-members Here for you if you need to talk! Your welcome to message me and I hope things get easier as more time passes. 😇Kelly
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Hi MattnGale13, 
Caregiving is a long difficult road, and we're happy you have found the support of others here on this site. 
However, there are limits to what untrained members on our site can provide for you. 
Please reach out to experts for additional support and the help you need 24 hours a day at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 
Call 1-800-273-8255
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If you are having thoughts of suicide, call 1-800-273-8255. This is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

What would your wife say if she knew you are considering this? I doubt she’d encourage you. And how would you do it? You say you have no one. Would you do it in a public place and leave others to clean up after you? You could potentially scar someone for life if they witnessed it. And, you know, there are religious beliefs that people who take their own lives don’t go to Heaven.

Take a deep breath, and tomorrow morning call your Primary Care. Ask for a referral to a grief counselor. Or, call the place that handled your wife’s arrangements. I got lots of literature from my mom’s funeral home. Come back often and let us know how you’re doing.
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Your grief is normal, instead of rushing into anything, get re-connected with an old friend or coworker, or churchmember. Sharing memories of your wife with them &having good company will help you see past the urge to give up. You can private message me if you want to talk more another day. I'm alone too, & its not easy, I know. Keep in touch. Remember, God loves you.✌🙋
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Matt - I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I can tell that you loved her very much. I bet she loved you a lot, too. She was a lucky woman to have such a man like you for her husband. If all women were that lucky.

How long were you two married? Do you have any children?

Right now, you're hurting and it's worse when the holidays come around. Please please join a support group for grieving spouses. There's got to be a local group near you. You will see that you are not alone. There are others whose spouses have passed and now they are hurting and grieving like you. You can come and share your stories, find support, and give support.

There is life after the death of a spouse, and it can be joyful again. Believe it.

Here is a link to an article that gives you 10 places to get support for grieving spouses. Do check it out.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ten-places-grieving-widow_b_8039916

Can you tell us more about yourself and your wife?
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Dear Matt,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know a man who is going through the same thing. He lost his wife just a few days after you. He is too grieving his loss. He says the same thing as you do. But, Matt it is still fresh it has not been that long. God has plans for you that is why you are still here. My Mom is still grieving after losing my Dad of 61 years of marriage 2 years ago today. It is a hard process.Do you have a church? A preacher maybe that you can talk with. Or would you be willing to seek out a support group?
I truly am sorry for your loss, I know you are in so much pain and it hurts so bad. Unfortunately we have to feel that in order to heal. And Matt, you will heal. And if you are a believer, The Lord is a great healer.
I will be praying for you.
Hang in there, it will not always feel this way, it is still fresh.
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i'm so sorry. Please talk with folks in your church.
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When someone is depressed, part of the disease is that they cannot remember ever being happy and they can't envision a day when they will feel happy again. It's a lie depression tells you- that you'll never be happy again.

Your grief now is raw. Please don't try to go through this all alone. Find a grief counselor, a grief support group or a patient friend. Tell yourself this truth: You won't feel this bad forever. Your pain will become bearable and you will remember the happy times again. You will feel happy again.

Doctors have some help if you really get stuck. But take care of yourself, exercise and talk talk talk. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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