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Joining the hysterectomy club here. After a horrible 3rd pregnancy, where I was in the hospital more than I was home, both I and baby almost died twice, then almost lost the baby during the delivery...after all that, my organs went into revolt and tried to ....well, they tried to exit through the nearest available opening. (Don't think I need to explain that further - technical term is prolapse, combined with cystcele & rectocele.) 3 surgeries during the year that I turned 31 - including hysterectomy, but I kept my ovaries, as they were the only healthy thing left, and I didn't want to go into menopause at age 31. My then-husband left me for another woman between surgeries 2 & 3 - that week went like this: husband left, I turned 31, and the day after my birthday, the 9/11 attacks happened. I thought the world was ending.

I have to say, I was pretty unhappy when the doc told me at age 27 I had to have a hysterectomy, so I waited 3 years, and was miserable with all the symptoms until I decided to go ahead and do it. I'm not sorry I did it. I don't miss it a bit.

Oh, and a funny side note: I had a great OB/GYN doctor - he was always making jokes and knew exactly what to say to make things better when I was going through the roughest times with this whole situation. While we were dicussing options *other* than hysterectomy - because my husband and I wanted more kids - Dr. A mentioned a pessary. I had no idea what that was, so he pulls out this donut-shaped plastic thing, and tells me that it goes up against the cervix to hold everything in place without having to do surgery, and that I could use it the rest of my life, or until I decided to finally have surgery. My thought was first - uncomfortable - and second - how do you clean such a thing? He said, "Oh, I have 70-year-old ladies that come in every 6 months or so and I clean it for them and pop it back in!" ACK! And then he proceeded to tell me they come in different sizes, because not everyone is the same size in that area. I asked how he knew if he had the right size for someone - he said, "Well, if I put one in and you stand up and sneeze, and it falls out on the floor, it's too small!!"

Gotta love a funny doctor.
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Had the full hysterectomy - even the ovaries got taken out. Not even 3 days after the surgery, the surgeon asked me if I was experiencing menopause. I did get a brief one upon returning home. Too hot. Sweating so profusely, sweat was literally dripping from my face and back. If I had read this early this afternoon, I would say no more signs of menopause. Until I was cooking dinner. I was sweating profusely. And this is about 5 years after my surgery. But, that's about all of my symptoms - so far.
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I had a hysterectomy, kept ovaries in my early 40's. Never had any sort of problem with menopause what so ever. After watching what mom went through with it I was scared to death! Course mom was always a hypochondriac type, to say nothing of her narcissism, probably just part of the package.
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CM I went through the change early and I was lucky, just slightly warm occasionally for a minute or two. I tell people I decided to just give up and grow a beard instead lol
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Not so much whining as hollow laughter - just checking out "self-help" sections on the menopause information site in case they had any bright new ideas for me, and what does it say? "Try to reduce your stress levels."

Oh my, aren't they quite the comedians though.
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The bathroom whines just reminded me that it's probably not a great idea to have mother along when my uncle takes me to a nice restaurant for my b-day din-din. The restaurants he chooses are absolutely 1st class and a potty accident (becoming more frequent) would potentially ruin everything. It's so awful of me to think that way but many times, she doesn't recognize me as her daughter (she thinks I'm her sister) and sure doesn't remember my b-day. So thanks to all for this "heads-up" call.
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My whine moment today is I feel I'm living with Goldilocks. The food is too hot, it's too cold, it's too salty, it's too bland. I finally told her you don't like how I cook eat a sandwich. She can't remember how to set her alarm clock all of a sudden. She sure can remember her booze. I know tomorrow is going to be an argument over money. She thinks she should have large amounts on her at all times. She can't afford it and its easy way to get robbed. I give her so much for spending money. I get the stink eye everytime.
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Back to whining...

The Vet visit is just as annoying as a people Dr. visit. An hour n a half!! OMG!! I'd like to see one of the employee's sit it a 5x5 room with a neurotic dog (jk) and a demented parent about ready to storm the back office because she THINKS she hears people just pissing off back there... darn it all,, she was probably right too!!!
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sallie when your mum dies you will be a happier person because you cared they will not have the memories good or bad that you will have so STUFF them!! I keep seeing my sisters lying on that beach in my head while im cleaning up pee and pooh all day it aint right!
Only good thing is im going on a holiday in 2wks and sis will be here with mum for one week HA HA HA HA HA!! LOL and thats a WITCHY laugh out loud yeh maybe im losing it!!
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I'm telling you, thus is the way my family has always been. Back stabbing self centered A-holes! They have been done with my mom for a long time any way. And we haven't exchanged Christmas gifts and cards for a long time. I may send them coal in their stockings thus year. Lol
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Well Sallie look on the bright side that's fewer Christmas cards you have to buy this year
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Oh dear sallie! chin up though, my siblings thought i shouldve been commited a few years ago and they were worried about the stress i was causing mum????? WHERE ARE THEY NOW????? Nice of them to have a family meeting about you and what about mum have are they DONE with her too?
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Nice that they had a meeting about you, without you. Meetings and help with the parent is what's needed, not back stabbing siblings! GRRR.

Glad it didn't upset you though sallie :)
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My whine, my sister who shows up once every 2 months out of guilt sent me an e-mail saying her, my brother and older sister had a meeting about me and have decided they are done with me! Boo Hoo! Tears of joy because I have had nothing to do with them any way. I have no idea why she thought this would hurt me.. Lol
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Thanks Veronica - I've always been the type to just "go" when the mood hits me - when my children were young, we were always off on some adventure. We went to the National Zoo on a bus trip because my then-husband wouldn't go with us (he hated zoos and circuses and the like - not sure why, so I took the kids myself) and often went to various local or not-so-local events. When my husband and I divorced, I started the annual trek back and forth to take the kids to see their dad or to pick them up, etc - about 700 miles each way. People always asked me how I could do that - traveling alone with my kids as a single woman. I always said, "I just DO IT."

Nowadays, as I'm getting older, though, I'm finding my adventuresome spirit is tempered somewhat by my reluctance to deal with all the hassles of traveling with very young children or very old ones (as in my mom - lol). I dragged my feet and really just didn't want to come on this trip this time, and couldn't figure out why. Now I know why - because of all the hassle. Mom started out doing well on the trip, but now is being more difficult to deal with than usual, requiring me to help her dress (which she never does at home), resisting showering (even though everything is set up here for her to shower - in fact, it's easier than at home, because it's a step-in shower, not a tub), refusing to walk 10 steps across the motel room to get a snack (requesting I get it instead) - even though she walks about 18 steps across the room to get to the bathroom - probably because that's the ONE thing she can't ask me to do for her!!

The good thing about this trip, though - my brother and his family joined us for the first 3 days of the trip and made the journey up here with us - so when we stopped, they stopped, and he and his wife now have a full understanding - I hope - of what I have to deal with getting Mom in and out of the van, getting her to go to the bathroom when she should, etc. (At one point, she was refusing to get out of the van to go to the bathroom and had been sitting in the van for about 2 hours - my SIL was trying to convince her to get out and stretch her legs and go to the bathroom - Mom looked right at her and said, "I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT" in a tone that made my SIL walk away.) So I'm trying to look at it with a positive light - at least some of the family is now seeing what I'm dealing with on a daily basis.
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Susan I admire your adventuresome spirit. When you book ahead ask if they have a lower bed for Mom also a chair and bath chair also a little stool to put her little tootsies on sitting on one of their high chairs.
I well know what it is like travelling with toddlers. two of mine were under 18 months when we made our first travelled to the US and it took us two days. Total nightmare especially as I did not want to come anyway 15 years later began our adventures with horses, not only do they need an unimaginable amount of gear but they also need a seperate conveyance which they may or may not decide they are prepared to climb on. Oh happy days.
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My big whine today! how could i be so stupid? I never go to bed without hiding the keys to the back door so mum cant get at the washing machine! well she was up at 7am this morning i thought i was dreaming or sorry having a nihgtmare when i heard the machine going YEP she was up and had gotten the keys as i left them on the table and theres about 5washes piled up and its raining so theres no where to dry them? i am so mad with her i want to scream i will have to lock my keys in my room along with everything else. Then the cheek she asked me to hang out the clothes? Where in the rain. Oh shes getting worse and i just dont know how much more i can take of this i clean the house pay a cleaner to come in for 3hrs and its like weve been burgled AGAIN!
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Sallie there is some new oxygen equipment out there that makes extra tanks unnecessary. I am not familiar with it but your equipment company can tell you about it. I know it is expensive but might be at least partially covered.
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Susan, I'm so glad my mom won't travel. I couldn't imagine to pack the stuff she would need. If we go out for a day we have to take her wheel chair, extra oxygen tanks and an extra set if clothes.
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Whine for today: Traveling with an elderly loved one is like traveling with an infant. It requires an entire separate set of items from your own. Clothes. Extra clothes in case of potty accidents. Every pair of underwear in the house (again, in case of the aforementioned accidents). Medical supplies. Pills. Bath chair. Her own pillow, because she can't sleep on anything else. Her own lawn chair, in case she can't use the chairs in the motel room (she's very short). Sweater and coat, even if it's 80 degrees out, because she gets cold. Her "ditty bag", filled with potty supplies that goes everywhere with her (just in case). Her step stool to get in and out of the van. Her scooter - which she hasn't used once on this trip. Her wheelchair.

...and people wonder why we drive a big conversion van w/handicap lift in the back. We need it to haul all her stuff!

Don't get me started on the motel room beds. Great beds. Comfy beds. But entirely too tall for Mom, who, as I mentioned, is very short. Sooo..when it comes time to get her into bed, she puts one knee up on the bed and I shove from the other side to roll her into bed in some sort of weird looking tandem ballet move. This occurs any time she wants to get into bed - so about 5 times a day and 4 times a night - meaning she wakes me up to get her back into bed after she goes to the bathroom at night.

Learning new and interesting ways to cope and deal with things here....
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Giving the pee pot with pee in it is a great idea! My guilty sister asked my mom if she can have these four small wall pictures which have always hung in every house my parents have owned. I was sooo angry she had the balls to ask such a thing! I think they may go missing when the time comes or they may get broken when I take them off the wall. Whoops! Lol
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FF unfortunately she does it to people, too. They can find it quite disconcerting, as in when she turns to me and says "what did he say?" when the nice lady is sitting right in front of us…

In the marketing people's minds, too, cats are girls and dogs are boys. But then in the Boddington's Bitter - "the Cream of Manchester" - ad campaign the cow character was voiced as a boy, too, and quite frankly they really hadn't thought that one through.

I hope your boy cats were neutered? I'm just picturing your mother trying to figure out what on earth those funny little round fur balls were on the cats' bottoms… :0º
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Does anyone else's aging loved one CONSTANTLY CLOG THE TOILET AND BLAME EVERYONE ELSE ?? Happens every time. Im so glad my children will be gone for most of the summer so he cant blame them for anything else. He is actually supposed to stay by himself overnight this weekend so we will see how that goes. Oh wait let me guess he will pretend like he didnt know that the weekend HHA will not be staying overnight with him and then I will have to wind up staying home..that better not happen. The good news is if he can stay by himself overnight, then I will be spending alot more time away from the house..
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CountryMouse, my Mom also does that.... she's been doing that for decades. I think she believes that most cats are female. She never had a pet cat growing up.... and when I was 5 years old Mom got me a kitten which was female. Thus all the cats I have had in the past 60 some years were *she* no matter if they were males ;)
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Sherridene my mother mixes up gender pronouns. The dog is a boy, and she always says "she", and the cat is a girl, and she says "he." It's not that she doesn't know which way round they are, either; I think it's a sort of extra gremlin mixed up in her nominal aphasia. So I know it's not her fault but my God it's irritating. I end up squawking at her "He! HE! Zach is a BOY..!" And she says "I know *that*! - of course she is…" AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH.
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My whine moment for today is Mom constantly saying people's name wrong. She has always done this to some degree but lately it is getting worse. It drives me crazy! She adds an ..ie.. to the ends of names or says the name wrong and gets mad when she is corrected. Petty stuff compared to other whines but it drives me crazy. My name ends with an ..ie sound but I refuse to be called by someone else's name. I think a Wine and Whine night would be a great idea although I think I will have a beer (hate the taste of wine).
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No nannie we "whine" and most of us have a big bottle of wine to drink while we are "whining"!!!!!!! I am thinking of starting a local "wine and whine night" but i dont know anyone who cares for their parents here!
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Huh, wine moments. When I saw this I thought it meant moments that made you want some wine to drink! Lol
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Mum is not stupid when it comes to one sister (the christian) believe or not?? she has told me she wants her out of her will and im saying nothing but she has never helped mum out EVER so i can see mums point although i cant get involved but i will make sure mum gets this done soon i say nothing but i push with arrangements!!
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Sallie my elder sis when she did visit? always looking at mums things jetting on eye on stuff she could take when mum goes ( i know a parasite) anywhoo she noticed mums "pee pot" was an antique and valuable she said she wants it when mum passes!! ( i know a b*tch) SOOOOOOOOOOO i told mum as mum is not a fool and mums agreed to let her have it in her will (with pee included) hee! hee!
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