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57twin, sorry, I didn't mean to laugh about the wet around the toilet. yuck....
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My whine of the day is this...I hate living here with my father. I do. There is a reason adult children especially with families of their own, no longer live with their parents. I hate this whole setup. My father's caregiver brings her child to work constantly. Before it was once in a while, now its at least a couple of times per week. Hes an adorable little boy, dont get me wrong. But all of the jumping around is very distracting. Im in the basement and its like a ton of bricks being dropped on my head. She doesnt even ask if its okay to bring him. Nor does she tell him to stop jumping around. Anytime we eat anything she acts if she intended to use or cook it. Last night she cut up pineapple and left it in a dish. We ate the rest of it so of course she starts trouble first thing in the morning. No one needs that crap. This is our home and I feel like an outsider ! Not that my father cares. If anyone showed disrespect to my sister, they would be shown the door. With me Im nothing more than a maid living in the basement so he allows his caregiver to run the show and says nothing.
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I'm tired of cooking too! My husband doesn't cook (rarely only if it's going to be on the grill), my stepdaughter...absolutely useless! And she's 31! no job, no drivers license..been living with us for almost 2 years. Makes me totally insane. She is such a mooch and a suck up to my husband. The only thing she does is the dishes (yes we have a dishwasher) but she'll unload it occasionally, clean the big pots and pans after dinner. But really...has she picked up a broom, swiffer, vacuum for the rest of the house? No. All she does is hang out on her computer all day watch movies, do her "work" that my husband gives her--computer coding. I've never in my life met someone who is so LAZY and unmotivated! Ridiculous! Oh and did I mention she has a child who lives with the father in another state...guess who pays the child support...yep that would be my husband! total BS! ok...I've whined enough for today.
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Bookluvr - wet is better than that smelly brown stuff, eh? That's my whine for today - it began early and is all spic and span now and will be for about two days and we begin all over again. But, you know, that is one of the things he is thankful for - that I clean him up. He does thank me (that lady who drops by once in a while) profusely and apologizes for his lateness to the bathroom, etc; and that he is useless and no help - just a nuisance. It must be AWFUL for him and I can sympathize with him, wishing I could boost his morale more...
'Better get me some more immodium - unless there's something you can suggest that works better..

Our Memorial Day visit to our daughter's had its ups and downs. He never knew which bathroom to use. I had to follow him around with his walker (no hand rails there) to every room, hoping he would not trip over one of their adorable puppies. We cut the trip short one day and it took three days before he began to feel comfortable at home. He wanted his son, who was here using our garage, to thank those ladies (another daughter and me) who brought him home for all their help (gas station stop in a hurry, etc.) He knew he needed them to help him out. We accepted his thanks..
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Have had a migraine ...again...all day long...and now into the night...one of the "good ones" accompanied with chest pains, leg cramps, eye twitch which drives me insane and flashes of light ...they are coming more and more frequently these days....I have tried to fight them, to keep going to see if I face them down they will go away...they don't..just makes them worse...can't sleep but that's what i need most...complain, complain..gripe, gripe...thanks for letting me vent...
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I have a migraine too. Started as a dull headache yesterday. I really understand your pain Hope. I have been so grumpy and negative the last few days ...maybe that is what brought it on for me. Took some excederin.
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Hope22, several times, I thought if I go to sleep during my migraine attack with the flashing lights (it can last up to 30 minutes),it would go away during my hours of sleeping. No, it did not! I woke up the next morning, and the darn lights started where I left off the previous night! Now, when I get the flashing light attack, I stay awake long enough for it to run it's course. By then, I'm sure you know, I'm soooo miserable with the pain. My doctors prescribed meds for it. You take it when you start seeing the flashing light. But, since I hate taking pills, I never took it.

But truly, you need to go and get meds for your severe headaches. They've done studies and found that people who have migraine headaches, and did Nothing to ease the pain, it was damaging their brain cells. Has to do with the lack of blood flow in the brain. Therefore, they're linking those with migraines and with dementia.
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Oh dear.....I would not doubt it....I do know stress and my negativity brings them on as well, and the pain they bring with them cannot help but be causing damage somewhere...they are getting more and more frequent, more and more severe and needless to say, something that adds that much more difficulty to an already difficult situation. I find it so important to try to remain positive around Mama as when I am not it seems to make her dementia issues so much worse, but with these things it sure is hard to be cheery and perky...I hope yall feel better soon and these things go away...they are murderous....I woke up early early this morning praying it was gone, it was not...I went ahead and got up and fed the cats and checked Mama who thankfully was fast asleep so I took some OTC migraine meds I had on hand and just laid back down and prayed to God to fall asleep again and awake with less pain. So far so good....
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Dear fellow migraine suffers. Mine started about age 13 and ran the gamet mimicing signs of stroke with nausia and relief only came when I could vomit. Stress plays a big roll and they continue to this day but now I am older , much older I only get the flashing lights and maybe a dull headache because my blood vessels have become less elastic. many foods and things like caffience are said to be triggers but each individual is uniquue so you have to find your own pattern. there are many medications available these days but at my worse i got remarks like 'she's such a nervous little thing" and "well when was your last period" i found that studying for long periods i.e reading - no computers then, would bring one on and working with something with a repetitive patterns like checks and flashing lights were triggers. Allowing my blood sugar to get really low also played a part. I had a fairly long warning period so found the best thing to do was get something high carb to eat and maybe a coke. Although caffiene is a trigger it is also a diuretic so that helps greatly. if you can get your hand on actual diuretics in small doses that is also good. maybe some one can recommend a herbal diuretic. A small amount of alcohol would also help medications work better and get the guts moving again. I would sit propped up in a darkened room and simply rest will it resolved. I could not work because I could not think straight or see properly. I would have to have the correct money for the bus fare because I could not pronounce the words to get to my destination. It was also never taken seriously which was really hard. So yes I feel you pain.
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I have also heard that caffeine is a trigger but know it is also supposed to help and you are right, it is such an individual thing that some things may help one which may adversely affect someone else...Caffeine does seem to help mine and I love coffee so that is a good thing...when mine are really bad...which if I have one at all they are really bad, but it is strange, things like salty greasy things actually help me...and Coke...french fries and coke help me more than anything else...crazy but true...I know when the pain subsides even in the slightest it is such a blessing....and that is where I am now...it has subsided just enough that I am not nauseated now and no chest pain at present...thank God!!!!! And stress does seem to be the biggest trigger for me and so being a caregiver would seemingly be the job where you will certainly have them, if you are prone to them at all....I feel for anyone who has them...and to those who don't and toss out the casual, just relax a minute or two and it will go away....they just don't have a clue...My best remedy....eat a small amount of salty carb type food like fries and a coke...make sure I am wearing no binding clothing...be in a dark cold quiet room....and sleep if possible..unfortunately, caregiving doesn't lend well to any of that.... you all have my thoughts and prayers....
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Ugh!! Just want Mom to take a shower stress free!

Just do it already!
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I have heard of people drinking a bottle or two of O'douls near beer at the first sign of a migraine. It has same alcohol content as orange juice. There was a newspaper article about it a few years back and I know of three women who swear by it!
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Where can you buy that O'douls near beer?
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Wow that is not a very nice awakening to that 57twin but you did make me laugh I must thank you for that. I have been so stress and down when I go shopping I just notice the elderly lately.
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Ok... I've had it. Off to visit the Day care. I AM NOT her personal entertainment/maid!!

Worked my butt of for two days both inside and out. Put her butt to work also (which created more work for me)

Gave her a bath and washed her hair this morning. Do you think she could just sit freaking down for 30 minutes without hissing and making negative comments? Of course not.... so after her saying 10 X's "Is this it? Is all I get to do is sit here all day"? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So.... I'm getting her dressed and off we go to visit the ADC.

The 25 mg's of seroquel is not doing much if anything...
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Hooray, Jeanette! The day care will wear her out more than you possibly could. And the added benefit? Is it does not wear you oh as well. May find that day care is much more effective than the Seroquel. But we still use Seroquel after day care, for sundowning agitation and she sleeps so much better.
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And go es to bed earlier, shhhh!
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Well I got up during the night to go to the bathroom and there is dads alarm clock on the bathroom counter. WTH????? Hubby snores so I sleep with Bose noise canceling headphones I didn't hear a thing. Dad up early once again ( 6:45 am). go into bedroom to change sheets room was HOT. We have electric heat and was turned up to the max and windows were open. Grrrr I had it and yelled. Also found dads sunglasses on my dresser and he was moving stuff around on his dressers.
Good news is this weekend he is in offsite respite care though I could gave dropped him off this morning. Well we will pick him up Sunday night.
Hopefully my attitude will be better.
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57twin, the heat or AC going full blast with the doors open or windows up gets to me, too. All that money going to heat or cool the world. My mother does it so much that I peek around throughout the day to see what needs to be closed.

My mother has entered a new phase of medication management. If I put the pills out early now she'll just take them. So I've had to change tactics and put them out right before she needs them. I'm learning that the only thing to expect is change.
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I am amazed at the sheer number of narcissists we're caring for.

two cents ¢¢
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I just spent 2 1/2 hours driving/waiting for medicine to be filled at the military pharmacy for my mother. Then come to find out they have mail order and it could be delivered. I told my mom about it and she says "oh yea, they have that but I don't trust the mail" I swear, I'm going to pull my hair out!!!
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Did my weekly visit to 88 year old narc Mommie Dearest, taking fruit and juice. As usual, whines, complaints, wants, wants, wants - the staff should deliver her lunch so she can stay in bed ... what????. Endless abusive phone calls made me quite ill during this past winter until I had a black out- changed my number, made it unlisted and told her I got rid of it. Now she plans to call everyone she's ever known (and not given a fig for unless there was something in it for her). God help them!

Now she wants to call my cell which I never have on, it's just for road emergencies. She's asked for my address numerous times but I only give her the nearest village. 20 years ago when I didn't answer the phone she called the cops on me ... she wasn't looney tunes then and that's not happening!

Every visit unhinges me but she can no longer get at me. The admin at the NH told me today if I hadn't taken action to go low contact I'd be dead by now, a sobering thought. Fed my critturs, going to eat supper in front of the tv and get to bed early. Tomorrow is another day and it's mine, as is every day for the next week or two until I have to go visit again.
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today, i have no words for what she said and did.

NO amount of sleep can make it better.
I've cried for 8 hours. WHY did she say those things? why?
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In regards to migraines, I just want to say that those of us who are helped by caffeine, read the labels because Excedrin has extra strength version and a migraine version...both have the same dosages of caffeine, aspirin and acetaminophen but the migraine version charges more.
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wow...I will check that out sharynmarie..isn't that amazing..same thing but because labeled "migraine" they charge more for it....thanks!
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VictoriaP, oh my gosh, my parents are the same way regarding the U.S. postal service. My Mom thinks the postman who delivers to the house reads her "Goodhousekeeping" magazine any time it is a day or two late. Sure Mom :)

I was also ready to pull my hair out when my parents got their pharmacy prescriptions sent to their post office box and I had to run to the post office daily to see if the meds came in.... after a few times to doing that, I put my foot down and asked my parents to have the meds delivered to the house.... it took some doing as Mom was convinced the mailman would steal her pills.
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My whine for the day..... I was wondering why the lawn guy who mows my lawn didn't show up this past week, then I found out that my Dad [who uses the same lawn person as I do] told the lawn guy to mow his yard and my yard every two weeks, so not to mow this week..... say what?.... now my grass is so high I need a herd of cows to come in.

I need to catch the lawn guy and tell him to ignore anything my Dad says regarding *my lawn*..... [sigh]
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Victoria I hope they were giving out medals with the prescriptions you sure deserve one.
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Well mark this day in history..no whine moments today. Its so weird how when our weekend caregiver is here it is so quiet and peaceful. She is a lovely woman who does what she has to do and sits down quietly. Imagine that ! My children love her and she calls them her grandchildren.
Im sure I will have plenty of whine moments tomorrow...Dad cannot go an entire weekend without creating some drama.
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I've made no bones about my lack of expertise or experience in the kitchen. All these years, since I got a job, I had take-outs and microwavables. I only recently decided to learn to cook because I've reached the point that I'm tired of microwavables and salty, greasy take outs (cholesterol shot high). So, for the past month, I've been cooking breakfast on Sundays - my only real day off.

It's getting to be so irritating for my fave sis and her daughters to ask me weekly if I'm still cooking. And then to be surprised that I'm still cooking! Okay, so, I'm 48 years old. You can still teach an old dog to do new tricks. Give me break! They should give me 2 months before I give up cooking and go back to microwavables! Not a measly few weeks. =(

In all seriousness, I find myself enjoying cooking. I still am impatient. If the sausage is not cooking fast enough, I raise the heat, and it comes out burnt, and the pan, too. Yeah, yeah, patience is a virtue.....
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