My threshold for Dad's verbal abuse maxed out tonight.
I work so hard to ignore, respond pleasantly, take nothing personally, remember the disease is talking, but tonight I let my emotions take over. I remembered the hurtful words Dad said over the years, and how I was the only child to stand up to him before ALZ. Tonight he told me I was "lazy, never do anything, and get the **** out of here." It was the "lazy" comment that got to me! I work all day and after they go to bed and of course, I'm "on alert" all night long when they get up and need me - confused - "who is in my bed?" - "time for breakfast (1AM)", etc. I've been here 24/7 for a year and a half. I'm writing to all of you, just to vent. I'm committed to being here and intellectually, I know this will continue and it's not about me, but it hurt, none-the-less. He hasn't known me for a long time. I miss my father.