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Specifically regarding Ms. Driving Daisy response to Bitterness people re: growing old in a nursing home. If we may ad a comment or two! This is merely a forum in which is a internet based aging care site, this leaves it open to any and everyone whom may or may not have good helpful suggestions and or comments, or not so good comments or suggestions, but I am afraid bashing the site online is not accepted. Often people choose to go on line and share with other sites in which I have been on (even animal pet sites), alot of people often get ripped, bashed or reprimanded. Why they are even on the site? Remember the site is open to anyone. DUH!

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In general , some thoughts are better kept inside our brains, we all slip up though at times .
Responses or entire threads( like this one ) can be reported , and admin can decide if they want to remove them .
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cwillie, I've had productive PMs with people with whom I was needing to sort things out. I am opposed to stinking up a thread with peripheral personal targeted sniping. Bullying happens even in the broad daylight of a thread. Better to take disagreements private and let the public forum remain focused on support, education, resources. People can report PM bullying.

"... that's how all the secret harassment and forum wars got started." Haven't heard this. Where were the admins in all of that?
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Good grief Geaton don't recommend private messaging, that's how all the secret harassment and forum wars got started
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Calister1, if you have a beef with an individual on this forum, then please go through Private Messaging to work through it with them. We're all adults here and don't need to devolve into Junior High tattling and scolding tactics.

Or, you can read the website's Member Comment Policy to see if a responder has breached any rules, in which case you should then report it using the button and let the site admins deal with it.

https://www.agingcare.com/aboutus/member-comment-policy

Since everything here is written, a lot of social nuance is lost and easily misinterpreted.
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This post makes no sense and should be removed imo.
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Calister,

As you know this is a group for people who are caregivers and who are looking for advice from others who are currently doing it or have done it.

Your passive/aggessive nonsense in an attempt to instigate trouble here among this group over Drivingdaisy's post is most lame and ridiculous. When a person has put a LO into LTC, their days of being a caregiver are done. Of course they may still have responsibilities like being a POA/conservator. They still may have to pay bills for the person and manage things like healthcare decisions. They do not however have to do hands-on care anymore. They do not have to rearrange their lives and schedules because their LO cannot be left alone. They do not have to tolerate being verbally abused, berated, and belittled anymore. They don't have to tolerate any instigating either because their LO wants someone to fight with. They can easily end a phone call or visit, and erase an abusive text or email. That's not hard to do. Maintaining your own mental health while living with it is a whole other ballgame my friend, and if you've lived it yourself I don't have to explain it to you.

No person will ever receive a moment of judgment from me for placing a LO into LTC if they need to. Feeling guilty about it and wanting your LO to be happy is not something anyone should complain to about to those who are still in the trenches doing the care and work day in and day out for a LO.
In fact, that complaining is an insult to us all and I don't mind saying so.
Have a nice day.
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I just re read that post, and I don't see anywhere where DD says anything mean or out of line. BC did make a few comments about the OP being whiny and not having any reason to complain as her MIL is in a facility and not having to do "hands on care" ( I am paraphrasing here) Perhaps there is some confusion ? Or I may be,,
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So you choose the bash another member in a very "in your face way" about a comment not even directed at you? All I can say is - Pot, Kettle.
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Calister, I really don't understand, what you are trying to say.
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