She has never been known as a kind person but she has never been openly unkind to I was floored when my husband and I went to visit her today....we have visited at earlier times with good responses ....but today she looked at me ..called me by name and said "if I could I would choke you" and I said .."why would you do that?" And she said, "because I want to" and I said okay very stunned....I guess my question is...can a cancer patient say something from taking the strong painkillers? Or could it be a tell you now what I think about you while I can? It has upset me more than I can say!

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Thank you for your response...she is my husbands sister and I have tried to read all that I can about what happens near the end and have found some similar information! I am thankful that you advised me to go back to see her again because I had decided that I would not....but I would so love a better last visit so your encouragement has changed my mind.. Thank you!!

Of course it has upset you. What a dreadful statement! She is no doubt on strong medications and she would probably be mortified to realize what she said to you, if she were "in her right mind." She may also have had a vivid dream or drug-induced hallucination in which you were very mean to her and under the influence of that experience wanted to choke you.

Is this your husband's sister? Your brother's wife? Your husband's brother's wife? If your relationship has not been troubled in the past, and for the sake of the blood-relative in this relationship, I hope you can bring yourself to visit again. You may catch her in a less drugged state or in a different frame of mind and therefore have a more favorable memory of your last encounter with her.

I hope you can avoid taking this to heart. I'm sure that is difficult. But in all likelihood it was not intended for the real you by your real SIL. She is not herself these days.

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