My profound revelation as a result of father in assisted living.

You have low self-esteem OP. This is why you constantly put down others, whether in your mind or out loud. You know better, you’re better, you’re doing it right, others are doing it wrong. You criticize others, in order to feel better about yourself.

Try to get your life in order. Work on your low self-esteem. Every time someone gets their life in order, the world becomes a better place.

You must also factor that when someone is in the health condition to require "AL" they are already in "trouble" so to think Al shortens life is not necessarily the reason for the statistic, they already are in a state to require AL, therefore, thier life span is already not very long, not to mention the need for escalated care that would shorten their stay. I wonder if there are any facts that show the duration of an AL patient that reamains in home care vs. AL care to see which elders live longer. I have a feeling it is those in AL.

The statistics I found are what was online from what looked like authoritative sources. I do not know how accurate they are, if accurate at all. However, they appear, based on common sense, that if the average age of going into assisted living is the in the 90's that you can reliably predict that overall the average resident will only be spending 2 years there.

The point I was making about how none of the residents I have seen are overweight is the fact that being overweight significantly lowers a person's lifespan, and quality of life while alive. 70% (and increasing) of all Americans are overweight (of which 30% are obese). What this means is that most Americans will not need assisted living because they will not live to the age where typically assistance is needed, that is between 75 and 95. There are people a lot younger who need it, too, but I am talking about averages.

Ventingisback, you have the wrong impression of me. I gave you the example of the physical therapist who called me to update me on my father's progress. That person is wonderful, Aides at my father's facility are wonderful, too, for the most part. My sister-in-law trying to force what she thinks is good for me (like LTC insurance) is not wonderful and she should stay out of my personal life. My neighbor who blasts music at 2 am is inconsiderate. I call it that the way I see it.

Anna,

There are several people on this forum who have said that their parents lived in assisted living for quite some time. I have a hard time believing that most residents only live for two years after entering their facility. It’s an interesting statistic, if it’s true.

My FIL has lived in AL about 8 years. He’s 97. An extrovert, so he appreciates the dining room and social life. Walks most days in a local park.

Lisa,

I guess it depends on the age and health of a resident. My mom lived to be 95. She would not have been able to stay in an assisted living facility towards the end of her life.

Her Parkinson’s disease progressed to a level that required her to have more care than assisted living would have been able to provide.

The assisted living facilities are very nice. They certainly aren’t cheap!

The end of life hospice facility where mom died was very nice. She received excellent care from the staff.

We definitely need all of the facilities that are available, independent living facilities, assisted living facilities, skilled nursing facilities, board and care facilities and end of life hospice facilities and care homes.

As far as weight goes. My mom was never overweight and she hardly ate anything in her senior years. She didn’t have much of an appetite.

My grandmother was the same. A lot of older people don’t eat huge portions. Sometimes grandma only ate one boiled egg for lunch. Some soup for dinner and a piece of toast for breakfast.

On average people stay in AL for 2 years, you said.

That’s not because they necessarily die.

Some people move on to NH, or MC, or even go back home.

Lisa, again, your thread might look like a nice thread, but it’s always the same: you think you’re morally better, wiser, know all the answers how to make the world better, disguised criticism, criticizing everyone around you; you’re doing it right, others are doing it wrong…

"What source did you find this information?"

I did a general online search and I only considered authoritative websites. One was an elder law attorney website that was insightful. Some sites indicate 28 months, some 2 years, one says it's closer 1 years these days. In the assisted facility where my father resides I would guess the average age of a resident is in the mid to late-80's. The average resident profile is very narrow. I would say the representative resident is a woman in her late 80's that needs some essential daily assistance and should not be living alone, at least due to a fall risk. Interestingly but not surprisingly, is the fact that I have not seen one overweight resident. Not a single one. That should be a wake up call for American society.

So the sad reality is that statistically about half of the people there now will not be in 2 years, if that.

Lisa,

What source did you find this information? I am not sure about the average length of time that people stay in an assisted living facility. It seems like it is longer than two years. People are living longer. Adult children are working so they may enter the facility at a younger age.

All I know, is that individuals and cooperations are investing heavily into assisted living facilities. They are enormous money makers! More and more are being built all over our country.

At one point in time, I attended an ‘in person’ support group for caregivers that was actually held at an assisted living facility.

The meetings were led by a social worker and some of the residents who lived in the assisted living facility attended the meetings. Their spouses were moved to skilled nursing facilities because they needed more care than the assisted living facility could provide.

I have known people who have been in assisted living facilities for longer than two years.

Just from the intro I knew this was Lisa.. and yes it certainly has been "some fun and entertaining"
And beatty is right,, gotta try to live in the now!

Actually, that could potentially be good news for some. Many middle-income older adults will have exhausted their life savings to pay for 2-3 years of spectacularly expensive care. (Of course, this wouldn't apply unless they left AL feet first, not because of "graduating" to a higher level of care. If I need to enter a facility, I will hope for a feet first departure.)

As told to me by a Doctor, most folk leave moving into assisted living too late. Too infirm to actually join in the activities & lifestyle on offer.

In my country one's home really is one's castle. The bedrock of financial security, pride for those who's families started out as migrants, or anyone that worked hard to better their situation, providing indepenance from living in multi-gen crowded households.

I can see why people are reluctant to swap that for group living.

Look back.. look forward.. but gotta live in the now!

Well, yes, it is a downward spiral, a dismal trajectory; it will be so for us all, unless we are lucky enough to simply die in our sleep after a delicious Michelin-starred meal! Hardly surprising that the average stay is two years, as they aren’t spring chickens when they need this. I think the sensible thing for us all is to simply accept that aging/degeneration happens, and to stop sentimentalizing it.

Lisa, I will wager that at the end of 2 years, most folks leave AL not dead but rather enter NHs due to a fall, stroke or the worsening of an illness.

That was certainly the case with my mom.