Thanks to all who took the time to read and also to respond to me on this forum. I don’t understand but somehow the advice of strangers has been easier to hear than tha of family and friends. My Mum passed late last night in hospital, safe and out of pain. I had spent most of the day with her and said all the things I wanted to say about how much we all loved her and how it was time for her to go. She always loved sleeping and I used to nag her to get up so I told her she could sleep as long as she wanted and no one would ever nag her again. I don’t know how I feel. Almost numb. Feel like I should know how I feel but I don’t. Scary to almost feel nothing. Now it seems all about sorting out admin and funeral and supporting the rest of the family. Feeling very weary. Thanks to you all
please take heart and be strong. you did your best and you can count on our support in this group.
Take good care in the days ahead~
I'm so sorry for your loss. Mom also loved sleeping.
Take care of yourself.
There is no way you "should" feel. Just allow yourself time. It's still all too fresh for you to even know what you are feeling.
Keep posting if you can. There are many on here who lost loved ones and still post. It does help.
Take care.
Take it a day at a time. First, the funeral. The Will can't even be probated until 9 or 10 days after death. Since all my Mom had was a house that was up for sale, I did not even probate the Will for 2 months after her passing. It took two years to sell it. So I cleaned out when I felt like it. In my state, you can't close out Probate for 8 months. So, you don't have to rush anything.
How wonderful you were with your mom at the end to reassure her you love her, you would be OK.
The feelings will come. In their time. I hope they are mostly good. Your Mom will always be with you, as is mine with me though I am 83.
My heart out to you in this passage and transition.
Thanks for letting us know the Forum helped you.
And if you learned anything here, or in your life experience, how we would love you staying around to help others. It does your mom great honor if you are at all inclined.
Best wishes out to you. Take good care.
And if you're like most of us that lost a loved one who suffered for a while, you will more than likely once the shock of her death wears off, feel relief that she no longer has to suffer and of course sadness for your loss too. Often the 2 go hand in hand.
I'm glad to hear that your mum was able to leave this world pain free and that you were able to say to her what you felt she needed to hear.
So now it's time to take care of yourself and make sure that you're getting proper rest going forward.
God bless you.
The weariness will go on for a while, I think. I had 6.5 years of being on call all the time, punctuated by screams for help from mom on the floor at first, then from my sister screaming that mom fell or was falling, or she had stopped responding, etc. So I was never ever "off" and that takes a toll. Let yourself rest, and eventually, grieve. You feel numb because you are, this is a coping mechanism to prevent you from being consumed by grief and overwhelmed so much that you can't do anything at all. It's your mind trying to protect you from the all encompassing grief that will come when you finally have the big things handled.
Or maybe you will never have that feeling at all. Everyone is different and there is no one way to do this. I wish you peace.