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My mother uses a walker and has trouble making it to the bathroom on time. This almost always results in a mess. What can I do?

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That is a really sad situation, isn't it kkinsel?

What if you brought the meal in to him? Reserve a small community room, bring a tablecloth, a vase of flowers, nice china and silverware, and a meal from a restaurant. My mother enjoyed these special meals in the NH. Her favorite was for us to bring in Chinese food. Whichever of her 7 kids was available would join in. Often it was just 2 or 3 of us, which is really better for conversation anyway. We would bring a homemade dessert, and share it with the staff. If your dad enjoys wine or beer, bring that, too. If ordering from a menu is especially pleasant for him, drop off a menu on your visit before the meal, and let him order. Having several days to anticipate the event may enhance the whole experience.

If an accident occurs you'd be where help was immediately available.

I believe in keeping up the pleasant activities as long as you possibly can. Sometimes that takes some creative flexibility.
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My dad is in a nursing home with vascular dementia and has bowel incontinence. He loves to go out to eat once a month but my husband thinks it's an accident waiting to happen. What should I do? I hate to tell him I can't take him out anymore.
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Make sure there is a waterproof mattress pad on the bed, and a large waterproof, either disposable or washable pad, over the sheets. When my mom (with dementia) needed to start wearing "briefs", she asked why such fancy pants. I told her they were the newest kind of Kotex. She accepted them without question. She never complained after that. Currently I have an aunt who would love to just wear underpants all day, but she has accidents. She asked why she has accidents. I told her it was one of those "over 90 things". She will wear either the briefs or regular underwear with pads during the day and briefs at night. I tell her she should go to the bathroom every hour or two during the day, but she doesn't. She did decide to wear the briefs during the day after a couple of daytime accidents.
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If your mother has a prolapsed rectum and bladder, perhaps a vaginal prolapse also, she should see a good gynecologist.
She may be too elderly for surgery. I don't know. She may not want surgery at this stage of her life. She may just want to live in peace and harmony. That, I do understand.
p.s. Kegel exercises are a waste of time and energy. They only benefit a YOUNG post-partum patient.
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I sometimes have the same situation. I bought commercial carpet in her bedroom. Really easy to clean. I have even set up a bathroom schedule. This really helps. She stops drinking at 7:00. She does kegel exercises while she is laying down for around 3 minutes. These tips I got from a specialist. My mother has a prolapsed bladder and rectum. The results are very good.
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Arrange the bedside commode right next to her bed. Empty the pan underneath every few hours or at least twice per day.
No big deal.
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A toileting schedule and bed side commode would be your best bet.
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My mother-in-law has started having problems lately - not just urine but bowel movements also. I don't mind so much if she doesn't want to wear diapers at her apartment and leaves a trail from the bed to the bathroom there (except we have to take the soiled bathmats home to wash because she can't lift the wet bathmats out of the washer) but after she had one accident while at our house we bought her diapers and insisted she wear them while at our place. She's been sleeping in my daughter's bed and I don't want that soiled. She's been staying with us a few days and nights because she stupidly climbed up on a counter to wave goodbye to the great-grandkids and broke her leg getting down. Just a small fracture but it hurts and she's supposed to stay off her feet and my husband thought she'd be better off with us - after being woke up a few nights to take her potty he's changed his mind and she will be back in her place today YAY! I think at 88 she really needs to go into a nursing home instead of the senior apartment complex she's in but she won't want to spend the money. It's HIS mother and he'll have to be the one to put her away if necessary but I'll go stark raving mad if she stays with us any more. I'm so glad my parents both died in their mid-70s and I didn't have to go through this with them.
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Hi there, they also make great liners, much like the maxi pads used for 'that time of the month', but they are more absorbant-and a bit less embarrassing for mom.
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Oh stop, What is wrong here? PUT THE PAPER PANTY ON THE PATIENT AND BE DONE WITH IT>
Incontinence is a normal phenomenom for the older generation, so accept it! Be done with it. There's nothing wrong with Depends or better yet, the house brand from Kroger, Publix, Rite-Aid, CVS, IGA, etc. Put it on. Change it frequently....no "sores" will occur.
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dear karen. i have a other idea that may work for for, i you are worry about the bed at night and your mom won't wear the diaper's maybe beforer you put her to bed at night you can try a large shower curtain under her sheet while she sleeps. I had to do it for my mom, because the urine was so bad. It also depends on the medicine she is on, she may be on a water pill that makes go to the bathroom. accidents will happen from time to time however it is hard and does not get easier. When they start to loose control the pull ups are your only answer. Also make sure she is not getting any sores from the soiled panties. Hope you can use this little info.patrica61.(P.S. give yourself a hug also )
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I'm not so sure my mom would be open to the idea of depends or diapers, she still sees herself as independent. I like the idea of a bathroom schedule, that might work...thanks everyone for your advice!!!
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Keep Depends or store-brand paper panties on her all the time...daytime and heavier ones at night. Lots of people wear these, no question about it. It's safe, dry and it's the way to go.
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Get her some pull-ups. Also take her to the bathroom on a time schedule or 10 minuets after eating.
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You can also get her a commode for her room.
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Dear karen. there some diapers that are called pull up for adults. They may help out if mom can not make to the bathroom on time. My mom had the same problem when she was still at home in her house in New York but she had a cane, She did not take her medicine like she was suppose to in the evening. One of the pills was a water pill. So she would be able at times to make to bathroom in time. After a while it was getting bad. Don't fell bad, when a person reaches a certain age sometime they can not control or have time enough to get to the bathroom. patrica61
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