I've been posting on this forum for a few weeks now. My mother was in end-of-life care since September 28. It was so stressful and depressing to see her wasting away. It was a blessing that she went. As I mentioned in another post, I am only child (male) who had been taking care of my mother since my father passed away 21 years ago, so there is grief but no guilt on my part.
I posted that I was somewhat numb when she first went into EOL care, but we went to her apartment in AL today and I just lost it. She had a second floor apartment that overlooked the entrance and during the height of Covid, when I couldn't go in, I would call her from the parking lot and would see her little hand waving out the window while we talked. So I first lost it when I looked at her window from the parking lot. Then when we went inside and she was no longer there I couldn't hold back. The reality set in.
As some have advised, she did rally at the end and was completely lucid and talkative so even though I knew the time was coming I still wasn't expecting it. I am just happy I sat with her and told how much I loved her and how she contributed to my success as a person.
So, I'm really posting this to thank everyone in this forum who has been so helpful when it comes to input and advice. I don't think I could have survived the past month without you.
I really feel for so many caregivers out there who are going through much more than I did. Those who have parents with Alzheimer's, those who have disagreeable siblings... heck, those with disagreeable parents. My only advice is to try to make time for yourselves as you go through this journey. It will help keep you sane through this very difficult time.
Thank you for helping me get through!
I am touched by your words and your love for her. It really is the little things in life - “the little wave from the window” played like a movie in my head as if I could see it. On a hard journey you just keep letting those moments lead you through the grief - they will be like warm hugs from her🙏🏼🦋
Sending you a big hug and a prayer for peace in the coming days. Take comfort in knowing that you were a wonderful son to your beloved mom.
Condolences. I'm so sorry
Blessings to you
She is not in pain anymore.
Carry on knowing your mother was thankful for the wonderful son she had.
May The Lord give you grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.
Be gentle with yourself. Take time just for yourself.
May sweet memories of your mother bring you peace.
Be kind to yourself as you grieve, mourn and heal from your loss. I am also wondering how your cousin (who was very close to your mom) is doing. She's most likely grieving, too.
Take this time now to take care of yourself, and grieve the mother you loved. You will discover that you have become a better person because if the journey you had with your mother. God bless you and keep you.
I hope as time passes your thoughts will turn to the good memories you have, the bonds you both created, and the fact that she's no longer suffering.
Peace and solace to you.
Grief jumps up and pokes you in the eye at the oddest times, in my experience. Don't let anyone tell you to "get over it already".
HUGS.
God Bless!