my mother just passed away & my dad is living alone his mind is not right. I want for him to spend time away at my house my brother disagree my mom passed away 7-23-10 she layed died on the floor over night and my dad was not aware of the situation

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Hi, if your dad is still ambulatory but his mind is going that is a dangerous combination. You will have to make some changes, maybe major, to your home to protect you and him. Your life will be turned upside down. My uncle would get into the kitchen, put the peanut butter jar and the stove and turn it on. Are you able to watch him all day and night? My aunt and their two sons couldn't control him. Eventually he had to go to a facility for everyone's well being. Which leads me to another concern. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong but payment for such care is not paid by Medicaid until all that is left of a persons estate is down to; their home (and all it contains), their car and just a small amount of money in the bank. Talk to a elder care planner so you can make a informed decision. Hope you and your brother can work together so you can support each other.

Dragonfly: First I am so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing! How tramatic it must have been for everyone! If your father was not aware of her passing,there is something seriously wrong here. I am not a doctor, I don't think you are, but someone needs to assess the situation and help you determine what should be done. It doesn't sound like having him move in with you is the right solution, but like DEERfer said,be aware of what you are getting into. There are many changes that need to be made to one's home before a compromised elder can move in, and perhaps there are other options you can explore.

What is your brothers solution? What is he suggesting? If you differ in your view of what should be done talk to an elder care planner and get their opinion.

Your other post raised more questions and perhaps I should not mention this,but I know you were concerned for her safety. Would you feel any less safe for your own safety if your father is unstable? These are things that I hesitate to say,but feel compelled to do so, so YOU are safe!

Talk to some elder experts in your area, and include your brother (if possible) in the meeting. This situation needs to be solved quickly before something else happens and you blame yourself for not moving faster. God Bless you and comfort you as you deal with all this and the loss of your mother!

My mom has dementia and Parkinsons. She has not been able to care for herself for over 2 years. Have your dad see his doctor with you . He should definitely not be living alone, but beware that if you do take him into your home, it will be the start of a life changing situation for both of you! I have been Mom's caregiver, 24/7, for over 2 years now. Read as many posts on this site as you can. They will help you understand what you will be getting yourself into, long term. Good luck!

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter