She underwent surgery and is now going through chemotherapy. She needs 4 cycles we got done with 2 cycles. Recently I saw some msgs on her phone to her cousin (my mom is already married). I doubted her that she might be having an affair with him. I said lots of bad words to her that you’re bald no one will marry you, now he will leave you as well. This hurt her so much she started crying as she was already stressed. She broke down. I didn't console her. Later on she told me she was just telling her cousin how she felt how she was afraid of death she just wanted to talk to someone. I feel so ashamed I can’t forgive myself for what I did to my Mother. I think I'll never forgive myself and I will punish myself with this for the rest of my life. I don’t know how to forgive my self... My mom has forgiven me, she said she forgave me the same moment I said those bad words to her, but I can’t forgive myself my words will haunt me for the rest of my life.