Got a Mother 77 years old lives with her pot smoking psychiatric disturbed Husband man/child. I try to stay in touch with her, but due her her emotional instability she falls apart. To make a long story short she made up something about her leg hurting and that she needed to get off the phone.

I feel that she was not being the most truthful. Well at any rate.

I now need to keep my distance. Because if she isn't helping me, then she is hurting me.

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It's tough to see people suffer. If your mother is mentally sound, I wonder if she has options to get away from the unstable environment you describe. And, if you suspect that she's lying to you, do you know why? I hope she's safe.

I read ur prior posts. I am assuming you are in ur 50's. Mom has been like this for years and you think she is going to change now at 77? Sorry, its not going to happen. As she ages, she may get Dementia and then u will never get to her.

I hope you go to a psychiatrist to manage you medications. Also, to talk about your Mom and why you keep beating yourself up. Your Mom is not capable of a relationship with you. And to be honest, you should have come to terms with it long ago. You need to make your own life. Find something you can get involved with. Our local Library puts on bus trips. Usually the same people go so you can make friends. I also would never get involved in Moms care. It will not work out. Its hard enough when its someone u love but someone u have had a negative relationship is worse.

My daughter had anger issues. She was told to write down everything she felt at the time. For her it worked. By the time she got it written out she had calmed down.

Your feelings will never disappear and your entitled to them but you need to learn how to manage them. Your feelings towards Mom are normal. We all want a loving relationship with our parents but some parents are just not capable.

Those phone lines run both directions, let her reach out to you if she wants to talk.

You know this is a toxic situation so steer clear. It's okay to separate from people, no matter their title, that do you harm

"I try to stay in touch with her." Why?

Do not feel as though you HAVE to talk to your mother. It seems that she may have other ideas, so it might be best to stay away. I don't think it's good for you to try to handle her "falling apart" along with trying to handle your feelings too.

Your post of Oct. 6 shows how much your mother affects you (you became manic and busted the bathroom mirror). That is a severe reaction after speaking with her. I would stop ALL communication with her until (at least) you can see a psychiatric provider and get your emotions under control.

Do you take medicine for your bipolar condition? Many don't think they need it but it actually is helpful.

I can't say if she is PURPOSELY trying to hurt you by wanting to distance herself from you but it is not the end of the world. Do not suffer guilt that you don't contact her, think of it as you getting mentally healthy by stopping contact with her. Go to someone you feel comfortable with and focus on them. Find a hobby that might take your mind off her and, by all means, get professional help.

LoneRanger, you’ve posted a number of times about how contact with your mother upsets you and stresses you out. But then you say you’ve called her again, and now your feeling’s are hurt because you think she lied to you about her leg hurting and you think she just didn’t want to talk to you anymore. It’s like you’re picking at a scab. You know it’s there so you just have to pick at it and then when it’s painful or starts bleeding, you get upset.

See a pattern here? Mom is not living the kind of life you think she should be living. So walk away. If she wants something, she will call you, I’m sure.

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