My mother died on July 4...
When the time came, it was fast: she had amazingly good health and strength up until a week before her death. Then, at 97, her systems just shut down, one after another. She was in the hospital, I was there almost all the time, and I was with her when she stopped breathing. So, I was lucky. My children, grandchildren, niece and nephew, and neighbors have helped me make the arrangements for her burial and accelerate the process of preparing the house for sale. I feel lost and confused about what to do next --- next hour, next day, next year. All of you have been an enormous consolation to me. Thank you for your answers to my questions, your encouragement when I needed it; thank you for sharing experiences that have helped prepare me for this. I'll think of each of you often.
Love and peace,
Carol
Be easy on yourself as you adjust
~ I Wish I Was Here; film
I am sorry for your loss. Be good to yourself and don’t put a timetable on your grief. Grieving is a process that must be... processed - in an individual way and in individual time.
As to the present, don't press yourself to do anything that's not necessary. It takes a while just to accept the reality of the loss, to (unfortunately as our minds seem to do) relive the situation, think of the good and bad times, and just become acclimated.
It sounds as if you have a good supporting and extended family network. Spend more time with them; they'll be grieving too and you can console each other. I've found that's a very important factor that's missing when someone is the survivor and the other family members have already passed.
So, as to what to do next....whoever the Personal Rep or Executrix/tor is should begin to address estate management, but in a manner that allows enough personal down time so he/she can grieve as well.
I'm so sorry for your lost. I know, sounds so cliche.
I wouldn't even begin to know how to comfort you right now. I just want to tell you you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you find your way through, and start to find peace again in this new normal.
Aside from being there for your Mom, this journey has given you lots of experience and rounded you out more as a person. You have grown and now have more to offer the world.
I know that seems minimal now. But look how Mom continued to teach you, even in her sickness and death.
BIG CYBER HUGGZ🤗🌹
I am glad for your mother that her last days sound to have been so orderly and well managed: no panic, no one incident to make you look back and "what if" about. May her rest be as peaceful as her passing.
Time to take care of you, now. Wishing you and all your family comfort.