Well Thursday we lost the appeal. We can appeal again but that takes two weeks it’s $205 a day. She is still getting antibiotics via a hickline and she had her big toe and part of her foot amputated March 7 and we moved her to the rehabilitation center on March 15 th. She was totally out of it until they took her back to the hospital on March 29 th. She was dehydrated and her kidneys were not working right and she had a massive infection. She finally came back to us so she really only started physical therapy on April 2 nd well during this we got my daddy's will and my brother went crazy and is taking everything out on my mom so he won’t go see her. I have convinced my mom to stay until Friday. She is supposed to be done with the antibiotics so it’s like 800 bucks. She has money but before she agreed she asked if I talked to my brother and what did he think. It doesn’t even effect him because everything is going to fall on me. I live an hour and a half away, he is right there. There is a farm that is worth over 2 million and that’s all he cares about. I have never seen my mom so happy I told her that and she said people here think more of me than my own son there is a lot of history between them. My brother called her the devil and every conversation I have with him he brings up me going to college and how she wouldn’t let him. I don’t know how I am going to do it and her house is not safe there is water coming up the bathtub and you can’t put water down the kitchen sink. She can’t be alone, she can walk with a walker but she needs someone with her. How do I convince her to spend her money for her and actually for me too. I did file the second appeal, and even if we lose she needs to be there. All my brother cares about is the money not her. Please help.

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I don't know if your mom's house is hoarded but my mthr's was- she had not had indoor plumbing for months when we fetched her. As long as she was of sound mind, she could chose to live that way even if it were bad for her. We have that right, to be stupid. Other people don't have to participate in the stupidity, which is why I made a boundary with my mthr, and when she made the conscious decision to not treat me nicely, I followed up with the natural consequence of not being around her, as promised. I'm not good with untreated mental illness.

Adult protective services had reports of a senior in need of help, and they offered services and eventually got her to a doctor. Adult protective services helped us get emergency guardisnship. They can refer you to lower cost attorneys too if your mom's of sound mind.

Staff; Who has POA?

Here is a link to Wisconsin resources for the elderly:

I'm sure that a certifed elder care attorney in your state knows the ins and outs of Medicaid and farm valuation. THAT is something that your dad and mom should have planned for. I can't tell from what you are saying about your dad's will if the farm is left to your mom or to the next generation. Who did dad make the will with? Is that lawyer someone that you and your brother can talk to, calmly, and together, about how to get mom's care needs met? (You seem determined NOT to go home and take care of yourself).

Talk again with the discharge folks about the state of mom's home. Does she have ready cash to pay to stay at the SNF?

Does brother live with mom on the farm or in a separate residence? Just curious why or how someone could live with a kitchen sink that doesn’t drain & a bathroom just as bad.
What is in “daddy’s will” that your brother is so bothered about?

If your mother is competent get her to make decisions on her own to upkeep her home.

You said your brother suggested that “some day” he would sell the farm and split it 3 ways. If it’s in your mother’s name after your dad died, your brother has no right to decide how it is split. And most importantly your mother is alive & deserves to live in a home where everything functions.

I forgot if it was stated prior but who is POA?

If your mother, as stated above, is mentally competent she can make decisions on her own for home repairs. Why are they (brother & mother) so adverse to keeping her home in working order?

I am thinking you will lose the second appeal as well if mom’s antibiotics (IV) end on Friday.
Begin to make arrangements for your mother to go to a nursing home (where she can either sell the farm for cash), apply for Medicaid - (thus a lien will be placed on her property to reimburse the taxpayers when the farm is sold), or hire full time caregivers to take care of her at home. 

Somebody do something, already!

All 3 of you know that eventually she will have to be moved out of rehab but no one has called a plumber to fix the issues there.
Get brother together with the rehab staff ASAP so a social worker or discharge planner can tell him directly what needs to be done. If brother refuses, call APS & report the brother for elder abuse if her home is unlivable & he refuses to upkeep the property.

Call a care meeting immediately & make it so.

I cannot understand why the children of elderly folks focus on saving their parent’s money - what is he saving it for? The “rainy day” is here.

Mother won’t qualify for medical assistance with assets of $2 million. Neither will the taxpayer pay without expecting reimbursement.

Are you staying at the residence where you have to use a bucket to drain the sink? Will brother not pay the bill for the plumber? What’s the holdup? Has anyone explained the urgency of her situation to your brother? If he doesn’t know, he can’t fix it. 

Have a care meeting with the rehab staff & have your mom go to a NH. The priority should be her care.

Staff, I thought I told you to go home 😅!,

Are you mom's POA or health care proxy? Is mom competent? Then this is Mom's choice. If she is going to drag your brother into this, let them fight it out. Tell the discharge department about the condition of mom's hkme. Then leave.

Mom can decide whether to spend money on herself and her home. Not for you to manage. You have your own chronic illness to deal with.

Get a plumber today. Hire caregiving help for when mom comes home if she does.
Mom needs to decide if she wants to stay in a facility or move home.

This isn’t about brother. This is about mom having adequate help to recover.

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