My mom have a rough relationship, honestly over the last years I have separated myself from her. Well to be honest she moved an hour away without telling me. I was actually still stopping by her old home to check in, never finding her there for months before I saw her home had just sold on a realtor's Facebook page. Nice right. So after that I just made weekly phone calls and very rare visits. Since she was found in a diabetic coma in January her health and mental state has not returned. I have been there helping and trying to do the best for her. She is currently back in a rehab center after another hospital stay. Her primary doctor recommended long term care, since she has show no interest in managing her diabetes all these months. Back to her "friends". Everything I see them they always have to tell me about how my mom was going to change her will to take me out of it and that I was just not a good person. Seriously, I bascily turned up life upside to help her since this happened, why do they have the needed to keep saying these things. Even if my mom did tell them this things, you can see all I am doing, so why try to upset me. I have told them multiple times to just focus on the now and it is nice they are visiting with her. But every time I run into them. I try not to talknto them, I certainly am not going out of my way to. Just sems ridiculous that people are just so rude.
AS for who is paying, right now it is her. She does not qualify for Medicaid yet, so it becomes out of pocket, until then. At some point we will see her home to help with cost. You do not have to to get Medicare, but when you do they will ask for a portion of the money to pay help pay for her care. It makes sense to sell it sooner then later, and put the money in to her care.
If someone told me my mother said I was a bad one and she was going to cut me out of her will, I would just say that I didn't care. When they go low, you go high.
You are such a better person than me. If my mother would have moved without telling me, I would have danced into the sunset and not bothered again. Do you think she has dementia after the coma? Dementia is very common in diabetics, particularly when it is poorly controlled.
If she is really not doing well as you state, you should get hospice to come look in on her. If you really think that she can not handle her life and needs a home, get her doc to state that and have her declared incompentent and have a power of attorney that is a durable power of attorney. Search types of power of attorney online and you will understand what you need. Good luck.