My mom thought she could care for herself and could continue to live alone. However her dementia had progressed beyond that possibilty. We basically tricked into going to an assisted living facility close to my sister. I live in Tennessee and she lives in California. It has been 2 weeks and she is angry and obsessed about being taken, unwillingly, from her home. These last 3 years I have begged her to come and live with me.....or let us find a facility in California that she liked. She would hear nothing of it. We made the decision for her and she is furious. Although see regularly forgot where she lived before this move....she has not forgotten that she was forced to move!!!! She continues to be confused about most other things.
Any advice or words of wisdom? Thank you

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I had a similar situation. We had to sell Moms' house and auction her furniture off. At the time her physical and mental state were not good. She came to live with me and started on the comeback trail and is now doing well, but could never live alone again. When she realized what had happened she was depressed and a little angry. She kept talking about her losses, but as time has gone by it is no longer mentioned. I think she had to go through a mourning period and has gotten through it. She is now quite content. I hope that will happen with you also in time. Blessings.

DonnaKay, We moved my mother-in-law out of her house too after she fell and broke her hip. But, it was unanimously agreed upon by all the doctors that evaluated her in the nursing home where she was doing rehab, that she could no longer live alone. It saved us from being the bad guys, but had she not have broken her hip, we would've had to make her move anyway. I'm afraid she's going to be mad, and being taken out of the house that she's probably lived in for decades, it will be hard for her to adjust at first. But you did the right thing, the thing that was best for your mother. Just because you were right though, doesn't mean it will always be appreciated. Give her time, and get her involved in the activities that they have to offer.
My mother-in-law still says she wants to 'go home', but she knows that will never happen. I did find out though, that what she wants is a time machine and go back to living in the house she shared with her husband and boys, when she was whole and happy. It's not so much the little house, as it was the 'home'. Good luck.

I have experienced the same thing with my mother recently. Mom remembers what we sometimes wish she would forget and forgets the important things. Mother can still handle most of her ADL's though it takes her lots longer than it used to. She has been widowed 28 years and very independent.

I actually made a appointment with her favorite doctor whom she trusts and explained all fo the "crises" we had endured the past 3 years. He suggested that I bring her for an appointment with him and he told her what a GREAT decision SHE had made to move into assisted living considering her current health issues.

I'm not sure how he did it, but after that she thought the decision was all hers! That was GREAT! We ran with that and after 2 months - it's still "sticking" with her.

He also prescribed resperidone which has been a miracle drug for her hostile behavior towards me and her best friend.

Good luck!!

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