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I am so sad and tired. The frustration and struggle has now turned to guilt that I should have been perfectly sweet this whole time because it really was limited. But, I’m human and I haven’t slept well in almost 7 months, I tried my best. We are now here taking care of just grandma and yet again adjusting to a new routine. My mom took so much time and energy. I miss her so much and trying not to beat myself up that I wasn’t perfect. She certainly wasn’t a perfect mother, alcoholism destroyed our family. Funny how I don’t care at all now. Just want to say thank you to everyone on this forum. I know I’ll be back I still have grandma to take care of. Sending love to all the good hearted and caring people that respond to these posts and take care care of their families- in the best ways that they can.

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((((Homecare,)))) my deepest condolences to you. Take good care of you now! You did great! Lose the guilt.
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I am so sorry to hear, but now Mom is at peace & you can hopefully regain your strength & peace too.
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Homecare, I am so sorry for your loss.

May God grant you grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.

You were there for her and she knows that you did the very best you could. It is a hard situation and everyone understands that we are learning and improving as we go. Give yourself the grace that you gave your mom and are giving your grandma.

Great big warm hug!
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I hope you are able to rest and find healing from your loss.
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I'm sorry for your loss! Stop beating yourself up. You did the best you could under the circumstances. People can get on our nerves when we don't get enough sleep! You are human and humans makes mistakes but that doesn't mean your a bad person or a bad daughter. You were sleep deprived & stressed out! I am sure you did a great job!!

Be good to yourself and now it is time for you to take care of you!!

Hugs!!!
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I'm sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself no matter what.
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I’m sorry to hear about your mom. Both my folks passed away in the last couple of years. I know about the frustration and guilt from caregiving.

It just takes time to get your emotional balance back. We have childhood memories, adult memories, caregiver memories, the good bad and ugly. It’s taken me a long time to get evened out. You’ll get there too.
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We're all human, and all we can do is our very best at the time. And of course that "very best" changes sometimes minute to minute. Are any of us perfect in our caregiving? NO!!! But we work with what we have. It doesn't do any of us any good to look back with the should haves, could haves or wish I would haves. We take what we've learned and keep going forward. I pray that you will get some much needed rest, and that God will comfort and strengthen you for the days, weeks and months ahead. Your mom was blessed to have you care for her.
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Yes, well, when you are perfect, and reach Sainthood and never are anything but sweet again, don't tell me how you did it. I think we are awfully mean to the Saints of the world. We fill em up with arrows, send them to heaven and then pray to them for eternity so they can fix everything that's wrong for us.
Human then? Like the rest of us? Full of flaws and limitations? Join the club.
I wish I could find a way to make you celebrate yourself. Your journey toward learning to LOVE despite imperfection, hers and your own. Please try to find a way to pat yourself on the back for a job well done so I don't have to book a flight and come there and do it myself.
I am so sorry for your loss. I truly believe that some day you will understand all you gave, all you did, and that you will be able to laugh at some point about things you remember. And please remember, Sainthood is such a bad job description. You honestly don't want it. Stay fabulously flawed. I promise you. YOU DID GOOD.
Again, I am sorry for your loss and I hope you have speedy healing, see the spring blossoms. I love Annie Dillard's quote "We live as if there hadn't been a hundred thousand generations before us, and another hundred thousand were not still to come" To me it is such a comfort that whatever woe and grief we feel has been felt by millions and millions and millions of our fellow travelers.
Please stick around on Forum and help others with all you know, all you have learned, and all you think and feel. You know how it helps. I hope you'll help others.
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I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace and rest in the days ahead.
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So very sad for you, I understand the kind of loss you are going through right now. But please do not feel guilty: ask anybody here, there are more "perfectly sweet" people who have done NOTHING to help their parents than those of you who sacrificed and did the best you could do out of love. Sure, maybe you were harsh at times but you said it: you're human and that's part of the package.

For what it's worth I'd rather have a less-than-sweet person taking care of me who loved me nonetheless than someone who was only ever superficial smiles and sunny dispositions, but is never around except only briefly. Your love and devotion to your mother is admirable.
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I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure you took wonderful care of your mom; please don't let the *moments* when you might have been less than patient with her cloud the *hours* that you gave her loving care. (((hugs)))
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I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mom. May you receive healing in your mind, body and spirit and peace in your heart. Yes, you are correct -- we are all only human and none of us perfect. Please don't dwell on the little things that didn't go how you would have liked. Think about what you can be satisfied with, maybe even proud of. We look forward to your contributing sage advice to others seeking help on this forum. May you be blessed!
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